Rockstar doesn’t like girls. Apparently they get “much angry,” whereas boys don’t. At School Halloween Dress Up Day, all the little girls in the poufy “princess dresses” were pronounced “silly”.
Rockstar particularly doesn’t like this one girl. The feeling is mutual. She’s one of the oldest children in his year, whereas he’s one of the youngest. She’s observed, “He’s younger,” and he… absolutely can’t stand her because he gets really angry at anyone who doesn’t take him seriously. At school events months back I’ve actually caught the two of them glowering at each other when they thought no one was looking.
Rockstar is a little mafia. Normally he takes awhile to warm to someone but can really hold a grudge - ask his former (very respected in Hong Kong) pediatrician who didn’t believe baby Rockstar could possibly remember the nurses (sometimes in facemasks) who were um, more brisk with him – only to realize checkups were far less painful (no tears even for shots) if they switched nurses and well, the attending ped too.
So given his penchant for strong likes/ dislikes, one of the things I watched to make sure he doesn’t develop a hatred for school, was whether he was making friends - my carefully casual FAQs are “Who did you play with today?” Or “Who’s your best friend?”
And btw I don’t ask “What did you do in school today?” very often because he's 3, but when I do, I get things like:
“I ate crackers. I drank water.”
Upon more prompting, “They were out of raisins.”
(Rockstar will however volunteer information about jigsaws or songs, just when he answers me it’s usually something like the above. I’m unsure if it’s deliberate; he’s not much of a foodie, he just eats when he’s hungry and has been known to turn down a second or third piece of candy offered by salesgirls when we go shopping. So it beats me why his answers to my questions about school are about the food, of all things.)
Anyway. “Who’s your best friend?”
The usual suspects always cropped up – no surprises, all boys’ names.
After satisfactorily noting he’d developed a strong liking to school about a month ago, I’d stopped paying as close attention to his friends. Then I kind of noticed he’d stopped telling me <insert 2 Indian boys’ names> were his best friends, and he’d stopped complaining about mean and angry girls, but didn’t’ think much of it.
Until late last week.
I start. “SHE’s your best friend??”
Rockstar nods distractedly, still examining the tires on his truck (we’ve been having conversations about why wheels need tires).
That’s the little girl he absolutely can’t stand.
She’s also Little Girl With The Stuck Zipper.
I recognize the name. That’s a little girl who says hi to me on the stairs during school runs. Both girls look much older and taller than my son. Rockstar’s never mentioned the second girl before, the only reason I know her name is because her helper introduced us after a few “Hi’s” on the stairs.
I start up on the boys’ names Rockstar used to rattle off. There don’t seem to have been any fights, nothing unusual that I glean from him. He generally likes them all, except for one who pushes, that hasn’t changed.
Well the caveat is it’s a young child’s account - but it would seem that after I started playtime volunteer slots, while more boys can recognize me, they don’t modify their behavior with Rockstar. Little Boy Whom Rockstar Complains Pushes (this is my thin-skinned son requiring proper apologies from people who push past him) was one of the kids who went looking for Rockstar in the toilets for me when I showed up. Rockstar complains he still pushes.
But as for some of the little girls…..
“I thought you and <Girl With Cardigan> didn’t like each other? When - Why did you change your mind?”
“Because now she’s nice."
"She’s really nice to me, mum.”
Wow. Who would’ve thought. I never stop learning all the ways givers are blessed.