Rockstarism #176 – The difference between Mummy and Daddy
Dinnertime... Rockstar: Mum. Should I have the broccoli first, or the carrots? Me: Up to you, darling, as long as you finish your dinner (which he does most nights anyway). Rockstar: But... Which should I have first? Which do you want me to have first? Me: It doesn't matter to me, darling. And technically your stomach won't know the difference either. Just eat whichever you feel like first. Green or orange. Rockstar: But... Which do you want me to eat first? Me: <thinking this could go on forever, just pick one> Carrots. Rockstar: I think I'll have the broccoli first. Me: <mild exasperation> If you knew you wanted the broccoli first then WHY did you ask me? I didn't even care which you were going to have first and then you made me pick one and you actually want the other one. Rockstar: <nonplussed, after finishing his mouthful of broccoli> Finished. <conversationally> Now which should I have, Mum? Me: C- No. No. You are not messing me around for your entertainment. Just.... watch Mr Maker and let me sit quietly (I wasn't feeling well). Rockstar: Hee. This is more fun. Bedtime... Rockstar: Mum. Which book do you want to read first? Me: It's up to you, you decide. Rockstar: <innocently> But which do you want to read first, Mummy. Me: You're doing it again, aren't you? Rockstar: Hee. Yeah. Me: Why don't you just tell me what you want. No, wait - you want the opposite of whatever I want. Rockstar: <laughing> Yes. Me: <accusingly> Did you pick this up from one of your clever, clever friends? How To Annoy Your Tired Mummy. Rockstar: Hee No. They (would) follow me (on this one). Me: Why don't you do this to Daddy? Rockstar: Be-ca-use....... <trails off> Me: (??) Because what? Just call Daddy. Rockstar: <obligingly> Daaaaa-deeeeeeee.... Kings appears in doorway and grunts questioningly. Rockstar: <conversationally> Mummy asked you to read me a book, Daddy. Which do you want to read first? Kings picks one without comment. Rockstar: No, I want the other one. Kings gets the other one without comment. Rockstar: <pause> Actually.... This one. Kings puts the other one down and picks a third without comment. As he starts reading... Rockstar: I think I want the first one. Kings: Tsk. <Carries on reading the one he'd already started on. Yes, without comment>. Me: <aside, to Rockstar> Is that why you don't usually do these things to Daddy? Rockstar: Hee yeah. Kings: Hmm? <carries on reading> Kings finishes the book and then also the next one before purposefully heading back outside. Bloomberg beckons. By which time the Rockstar is asleep. Suddenly, I understand why God makes Mummies and Daddies.