Rockstar: Mum. Your friends are all crazy. <shakes head> Tsk tsk! Cra-zee!
Me: <Thinking: What’s wrong with him now> What d’you mean all my friends are crazy. Then your friends leh?
Rockstar: <shaking head gravely> No, Never.
Me: How can that be, you guys are founding members of the Poop and Fart Joke Brigade.
Rockstar: <seriously> There’s pee jokes too, but you’re not allowed to tell anyone those. (This is actually true, now they also have Secret Boh Liau Jokes to go with their Public Boh Liau Jokes. Parents are not allowed to repeat the secret ones. This directive was communicated to us in hushed tones.)
Me: Why are my friends the only ones who are crazy?
Rockstar: I don’t know – I just decided they are, they’re mummies. Don’t know which one is crazier. But all of them are crazy <shakes head, rolls eyes>.
Me: What, just because we don’t let you eat junk, and we impose bedtimes and please-and-thank-yous? Why are mummies crazy?
Rockstar: <thinks for awhile, feeble response> Only guys aren’t crazy.
Me: But you agree you shouldn’t eat too much junk because your growing body and mind need real food?
Rockstar: <long suffering, theatrical sigh> O-kaaay…
Rockstar: Mum! Did you know (girl classmate) got a Superstar today?
Me: That’s nice, dear. What was it for?
Rockstar: For Being A Good Friend – to (3 other girl classmates).
Me: Wow, she must be a nice girl. What did she do?
Rockstar: I can’t remember, she’s a girl.
Me: What d’you mean you can’t remember cos she’s a girl?
Rockstar: <shrugs> She’s a girl. I never remember what the girls do. Don’t know why.
Me: Which was your favorite part of the day?
Rockstar: I liked impressing those girls best. (3 of them, all at least a head taller and probably a couple years older, walking their 7mth old Sheltie in the dog park while we were with JD – they were taken by Rockstar’s knowledge of “Heterochromia”…)
Me: Oh <a little taken aback – it’s just strange to hear your 4yr old son declare gravely he likes impressing girls>. Which girl did you like best? (Curious, the 3 girls looked so different – 1 Asian, 2 Caucasian, one brunette, the other very blonde… Was having a funny conversation with a girlfriend who observed her son always plays with the chubbier, bossy girls, whereas his own kid sister whom he fights with is quite thin and worships him)
Rockstar: I liked the dog best.