Me: How was school, darling?
Rockstar: We were learning about Hong Kong. (Classmate) asked who built Peak Tower… Then he yelled (his name)! (His name!) Everyone laughed, and he laughed loudest. But I didn’t laugh. I (happened to be) farting……
<pause> Did you know ICC is the tallest building in Hong Kong? Followed by IFC and then Bank of China……
Rockstar: Mum. What does “f-ck” mean?
Me: Where did you hear that?
Rockstar: <thinking> Can’t remember. <shrugs> Everywhere. People say it.
Me: Probably when people are mad, then. They’re saying it to let off steam, when they’re angry.
Rockstar: What does it mean?
Me: It might be a lazy way of saying and meaning “Fart”. You know what “fart” means, you and your toilet jokes with your friends.
Rockstar: Hee. Yeah. Stinky! Hee Hee. (He must seriously derive a lot of pleasure from toilet humor with his friends)
Me: Well so someone using it as a curse word when they’re mad is their way of saying something stinks, they don’t like it. Like when Mummy says “crap” or “shit”. (What? You want me to still strive for a little honesty or be a total hypocrite? Yeah I try, but he’s definitely heard me say shit or crap before.)
Rockstar: I like “poop” better.
Me: Good for you, Mummy should use that one more often, it’s a cooler word.
Rockstar: <like a honking sound> Poop, poop…
Awhile later, bedtime.
Rockstar: Are you trying to say “shit”?
Me: No, I’m trying to get you to shush and be quiet.
Rockstar: <disappointed> Oh. I thought you wanted to say “shit”…
Me: I want you to Stop. Talking. And. Go to…. Sleep!
Rockstar: “Shit” is funnier.
Rockstar: O-Kay, o-kay…. <long suffering sigh>