Flashback: It’s Not Easy Being A Rockstar III
Back to the flashback series, Rockstar at 9 months... SO not easy, being a Rockstar... You only eat healthy organic foods (that taste like cardboard)... The entire universe seems to revolve around you... Your staff don't let you go just anywhere, so you have to smile appealingly at your jailers... Which means you don't get to crawl very far in your sleep... You have to be careful with steamy, romance-novel looks lest you floor all the ladies... Sometimes, you just feel SO misunderstood... Also, it's only YOUR bad hair days that seem to get caught on camera... Prompting you to gesticulate angrily at obnoxious "paps"... Or tell em to buzz off... Some people just have no life... sigh... Some of the decor and furnishing choices your staff make just don't grow on you (or, you seem to outgrow them fast) You are the one really driving things - and with only one hand! Bloody taxi drivers! So, after giving the matter much thought, you would like to reiterate how not easy it is, being a Rockstar. Sometimes living the Rockstar life lands you behind bars (this also happened to some girl named Paris) Your PR staff turn you into a hypocrite with all those endorsement deals (who could POSSIBLY "heart veggies"?) In fact, what's a Rockstar gotta do around here to get a beer? Like all true Rockstars, you have your androgynous days... (ie some days you just look like a wussy little girl) So your staff make a point of dressing you more gender-specific... Even when you're sleeping there are standards of gorgeousness to maintain... But really, sometimes you just couldn't be bothered. You discover your powers of gorgeousness extend to felling even men with one roguish wink But then others try to profit off your gorgeousness by using your initials for their clothing lines. You are an unwitting participant in others' creative efforts... And sometimes thru no fault of your own, you are thrust amongst questionable company. Your busy lifestyle means you always check your email on the go. Even after you master your gym workouts... ...there are always new challenges that lie ahead. Like all good Rockstars, you require your staff coordinate their outfits to yours... ALL your staff. But SOME staff just take things too far.. And get totally carried away. They even emulate your mannerisms - nothing is safe from copycatting! Sometimes your staff skimp on giving you their full attention... Yet at other times you feel like they're holding you back... Sometimes they even throw "looks" when they think no one's looking. You often find yourself in the arms of mysterious women... Is that your name and bithdate engraved on this groupie's necklace? And - and - is that a CAMERA down there??? It's all TOO stressful... After all, you're just like any other regular Rockstar - You enjoy alphabet books... You enjoy stories about wallabies... You enjoy music... You enjoy rattles... You enjoy stacking rings... You enjoy Victoria's Secret models... Though you think the catalogues are a little overrated... You also do a mean book critique... And enjoy a good yawn... As well as the simpler pleasures in life (many of which Nestle makes) So sure, you have to tell the occasional "pap" to "Talk to the Hand" (or thumb)... But there are times when you DO enjoy the attention... Being a Rockstar - not too bad after all.
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