Tales From Babycare Bootcamp

The two opponents face off. When this is done, we’ll have gotten to know each other better. I have to learn how to settle her, she has to get used to my voice, I think.

Except…….. Why does she look mildly disturbed when I start singing?

Suspicious...

It can’t be. Surely not. But the whole time she was in my tummy I didn’t sing – not to Rockstar, not to her. ”Erm… erm, <wow I feel silly> Mercury is the closest planet to the Sun. However it isn’t the hottest, because heat quickly escapes from its thin atmosphere, resulting in night time temperatures of -167 degrees Celsius. In fact it’s Venus, second closest planet to the Sun, that is the hottest planet in the solar system. Its surface temperature sizzles at some 467 degrees Celsius because of a thick, poisonous atmosphere that traps the Sun’s heat….”

Baby Rockstar closes her eyes contentedly as she feeds.

You’ve GOT to be freaking kidding me. What kind of giant nerds am I raising in this household, I’ve read inane facts about the solar system so often my young baby likes that more than singing?! (Ay I don’t totally suck at singing ok…!)

Come to think of it I don’t think I sang very much at all, when I was pregnant. My singing voice must be completely unfamiliar to her. My scolding voice, on the other hand……

Hello Mummy. No Wait You Aren’t Mummy. Mummy’s Usually Yelling. Or Droning On About Planet And Dinosaur Crap. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MUMMEEEEE?

O-kay, at least let me try to keep it conversational. (As opposed to me yelling at Rockstar to Eat. Your…… Dinner!)

“Ngeh!”
“The appropriate response is ‘No thank you, Mummy, I’ve had quite enough.’”

“Nnngeh!”
“You have to explain that in a carefully worded email.”

“NNNGGGEEE-EHH!”
“You don’t have to shout, Mummy is not in Kowloon.”

Seriously though Ms Rockstar mostly cries because of gas – she can projectile-vomit several feet. It never fails to amuse Rockstar. “WOW! It landed there. Lemme show Daddy!” But also “Stay away from my books, Mummy,” when I’m carrying the baby.

“STOP STAMPING YOUR CROCS WHEN THE BABY’S SLEEPING!!!”

Ms Rockstar has Yup. There’s Mummy <relaxed and satisfied> Look.

Yeah fine so my baby gets lulled to sleep by my barking at Rockstar. Whatever.

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About Aileen

I blog about living and raising my son in Hong Kong - where toddlers have entrance interviews, parents keep test score spreadsheets, private school debentures can trade for more than half a million USD. Raising Rockstar's the most important thing I'll ever do. We show our true colors by the choices we make in bringing up our children. My blog is a message to my toddler son, about what the world and his parents are like today - for when he becomes a teenager and knows everything.
Posted in Rockstar Thoughts, Talking To Rockstar | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 comments
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  • CA

    Projectile vomit is a cause of excitement for Rockstar – haha! Typical. Wait till he’s a bit older and toilet humour will play a major part in his life when he gets acquainted (if not already) with Captain Underpants.

    Maybe Little Miss became so accustomed to your parenting a very energetic Rockstar whilst she was in the womb that your “barking at Rockstar” doesn’t faze her?

    • http://raisingrockstar.com Aileen

      Shhh! No one tell him about “Cap” til he leaves home for college!

      Yeah re Ms Rockstar. Doesn’t bode well for me when she gets to Rockstar’s age…..!

  • http://lifeafter38.blogspot.com/ zmun2

    She’s Rockstar’s kind of gal then! :) Loves listening to facts about the solar  system.

    Perhaps she is really used to listening to you reading to Rockstar when she was inside you.

    • http://raisingrockstar.com Aileen

      She is going to be a giant (figuratively speaking :D) nerd like Original Rockstar :P