So My Husband Quit His Job While I Was Pregnant…

Several months ago, Kings tendered his resignation at a major American investment bank. That day my traffic went up and I resolutely said nothing about it on my blog (I’m a mummy blog, what do you want from me?) My hub told me of his intentions when I was heavily pregnant (and yes very hormonal) with Ms Rockstar. We’d discussed it and I’d given him a “blank cheque” to do it whenever he had felt the timing was right. One day soon after, he’d told me it was.

This isn’t the first time Kings makes scary-ass leaps off cliffs. Many of you found my blog via Timothy Tiah’s, in his post about Kings’ earlier days. There was a chinese language HK news article about similar, how Kings was a village boy from a dirt poor family who sold 5 sen ice creams, how he eventually made it into banking. On our first official date on Sentosa in Singapore, one of the things he brought with him were individually wrapped Seremban Siew Pau from a recent trip home – I’d mentioned in passing I couldn’t stay out long unless we were near some snack place because I always needed to eat. He’d then packed a bunch of snacks so I’d stay out with him longer. He had one of those food wrapper heat sealers at home from when his family used to sell snacks at the little local cinema showing all the Bollywood movies decades ago.

Kings always has an underlying “I came from nothing. I can risk going back to nothing,” attitude. Any little girls out there reading my blog - that’s one reason to have your own spending money – you can pick a nice guy without financial security featuring super high on your laundry list (sorry if this sounds horrible but we live in a material world and especially in HK where things cost so much you comparatively can really end up living in a rat hole if you don’t make enough). Looking for a nice and financially secure guy means narrowing your chances of finding one (nice guy) by that much.

The diamonds, you can buy for yourself, when not all nice guys can afford them for you. Diamonds are pretty. I want you to have some for yourselves.

But seriously, I married Kings fully aware of his “Came from nothing, can go back to nothing,” attitude because I fully expected to make my own money. My parents fully expected me to make my own money. The day after I had Rockstar, I then literally became a different person. Money is nothing if it comes at the expense of my kids’ wellbeing and upbringing, and I was simply unable to handle both at the time. So the kids come first. Ditto when my husband decides to go metaphorical cliff-jumping.

When you are pregnant with your second child, having previously been fiercely financially independent and only just given up your own SFC license (because you unfortunately left off chalking up Continuous Professional Training hours thinking you’d do it “soon” and then raging morning sickness removed your conviction that you just might’ve gone back to the market within 3 years if you’d only had the one super-independent Rockstar who’d started to do well)…….. It’s Scary.

But my husband saw an opportunity at the right time and he wanted to take it. I will be supportive to the best of my ability because in 10, 20 years I don’t want to be married to That Guy. The one who looks back and regrets, “WHY Didn’t I Take That Chance?” and then gets more and more bitter at missed opportunities as time passes. I didn’t want to be tied for life to The Bitter Monster by virtue of my marriage vows, knowing that I had some part in creating him.

If I didn’t have some savings of my own, it would’ve been that much harder to be supportive. Though yes eventually I wanted to parent, and I regret taking that “long” to do it (Rockstar’s care in his first almost 2.5 years was just appalling, I’ve said many times). With a second child I can’t easily go back without committing the same mistake I made with Rockstar’s earlier years and Kings knows that. He’d better feel strongly about this opportunity and the timing.

In a nutshell, in an ideal world (where you can get The Job You’re Going To Work Your Butt Off For: Run hard, make all you can when you’re younger and haven’t had children yet. (If you want children.) Because if you are anything like me, it all changes once the kids get here. And they didn’t ask you to have them.

So Asia Bankers’ Club, Kings’ new thing. Will blog it at some point la…..

Thanks for installing the Bottom of every post plugin by Corey Salzano. Contact me if you need custom WordPress plugins or website design.

Related posts:

About Aileen

I blog about living and raising my son in Hong Kong - where toddlers have entrance interviews, parents keep test score spreadsheets, private school debentures can trade for more than half a million USD. Raising Rockstar's the most important thing I'll ever do. We show our true colors by the choices we make in bringing up our children. My blog is a message to my toddler son, about what the world and his parents are like today - for when he becomes a teenager and knows everything.
Posted in Rockstar Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 comments
  • Jessie Yap

    All the best for King’s new job. And truly you are a very supportive wife.

    • http://raisingrockstar.com Aileen

      Thanks Jesse, and all the best for your third tri and delivery! God bless.

    • http://raisingrockstar.com Aileen

      Thanks Jesse, and all the best for your third tri and delivery! God bless.

  • Amelia A

    All the best to King’s new venture! :D 

    • http://raisingrockstar.com Aileen

      Thanks Amelia :)

  • CA

    Good luck to King’s new adventure!  You two are an awesome team and you know what, this new part of your life can teach other lessons to Rockstar and his sister.

    • http://raisingrockstar.com Aileen

      Well Life is certainly a lesson, and blogs are so we can remember and share what we learn :)

  • http://lifeafter38.blogspot.com/ zmun2

    Dear Aileen, I fully agree with what you wrote in the “Bitter Monster” paragraph. Not only are you a dedicated mother but you are a great understanding wife too.

    I dropped by the website of Asia Bankers’ Club and think it is a great idea. If I were a banker (and have loads of money), I would want to join this prestigious club too. Wishing it all success!

    • http://raisingrockstar.com Aileen

      You are very kind dear. Even the best of ideas need a measure of good fortune (or shall I say God fortune). He has been so good to us already – we have each other, we are healthy (Kings can live without potato chips la :D), our kids are well, He has blessed us with so much already…