So after a rocky start I’ve been singing regularly to Ms Rockstar, which means we have an official “sleeping song,” a couple “feeding songs,” a “bath song”. Decided to do that after the baby screamed her lungs out at me the first time I bathed her without the nanny present. If babies be creatures of habit, I figured keeping to certain songs when things were going “well” and she was in a good mood would help when she was erm, not in such a good mood.
Sounds good? Only prob is with her innocent face turned to mine, opened up like a little flower awaiting the warm sunlight, I got “performance pressure” and the only song I could think of was……. wait for it…….. sung by an English tavern wench in Oliver Twist.
Yes, sweet little baby girl falls asleep to the drinking song Nancy sings in that scene in the tavern. Well the Nancy character represents Charles Dicken’s view that a person, however corrupted by society, can retain some good? Mmmm….. Neh. It was the Oom Pah Pah. Well you try coming up with something when your new baby gives you two seconds to captivate her or Suffer The “NGEH.” Or worse, The “NNGGGEEEEEEEAAAHHHH!” The break neck speed of moving equity markets fine, just please don’t give me NGEEEAH!
An image comes to mind, of the Red Queen who pauses just long enough to allow you a glimmer of (false) hope before she bellows “OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!” (Ok actually most of the time not really lah, but then all the more the few times she “Ngeh”s at me to jump, I ask How High.)
Or, she could be saying………….
Me: Erm… erm….. A, B, C, D…
Ms Rockstar: NNGGGEEEEEEEAAAHHHH! (Translation: YOU’RE FIRED!!!)
And then one day I catch myself in the mirror bouncing and Oom Pah Pah-ing with the baby in her sling and it looks like I’m slightly ridiculously playing a musical instrument as I bend my knees on the “Oom” (Squats! I need the exercise!) and pat her bum on the “Pah Pah.” No you don’t get a picture. Baby rearing has a lot to answer for. It turns otherwise lucid adults into cartoon characters. And don’t get me started on the faces <shudder>.
Also, don’t ask me why when I bathe her I sing On Top Of Spaghetti.
Ps: Would you believe we then had an argument with Original Rockstar because he kept saying that dragon is too near her face and bumping into her all the time (not really, right?), which also makes it difficult to see other things (like passing cars)….