There’s only so many times the Bermuda Triangle or black holes fascinate many people, why should wardrobe doors be any different. Ms Rockstar has been a real screamer lately, because the noisiest of construction works started up again for most days, leading up to the weekend. I’d take her out, but they’ve been having thunderstorm warnings amid deceptively bright sunny skies.
Then I finally threw up the day before. Well, really when you retch while holding your screaming child you realize it’s a good thing you hadn’t had time to eat yet. So yup, things were a little desperate. So you start imagining things.
Me: Oh look, Ms Rockstar! YSL Muse bag!
Ms Rockstar: Red Thing With Handles! Does It Make Interesting Noises?
Me: <deflated> Um no, it’s just a bag.
Ms Rockstar: And you paid How Much for it?? HOW YOU GONNA SEND ME TO IVY LEAGUE ONE DAAAYYYYY??
Wow our priorities change. I’d swap the bag for a good nanny right about now.
Oh yeah. The college thing. When Ms Rockstar mentioned college was when I realized I might be imagining things. I mean, it’s not like we’d decided American yet…..
Me: That is not an appropriate response. In fact the only response to that should be ‘Why, thank you Mummy. Yes I would like to finish my entire feed now.’
Me: Also, ‘Please excuse me Mummy, while I work on a good burp so you can put me down where I will kick contentedly in my crib or playmat and you can get a cup of coffee.’
Ms Rockstar: In fact, let me get you that cup of coffee. Sit down and switch on E! Entertainment. Brainless junk reality tv is actually good for me!
<blissfully lost in revelry…..>
<various jarring drilling and hammering construction noises right on our adjoining wall>
Ah, reality. When it hurts you know you’re alive.
Ps: This was before the weekend, I hadn’t had time to finish writing it til Saturday morning…