So when we started Ms Rockstar on solids, and by “solids” I mean a tablespoonful (two, if she likes it) of plain baby rice cereal in breast milk, she was a fast learner. She learned to hate spoon feeding just like that *snaps*.
Ms Rockstar: Mummee. Think. I have been asleep for the last 3.5 hours, after which we had this long, leisurely diaper change just because I happened to poop in my sleep, topped off with, for entertainment pleasure, something about a little star who apparently has nothing better to do than twinkle. Ko-Ko has been Gangnam-Styling all over the apartment and on your bed every day but me, me I get Twinkle freaking Twinkle?
No sustenance has passed these sweet lips in almost FOUR HOURS. I am STARVING. And now instead of umm, feeding me, you expect me to muck around with you and Spoon and something that is just so incredibly yummy because it has the thing going for it a.k.a. it is not just milk?
Did you fall down? Did you fall down and hit your head on something very hard? GET ME THE BIGASS MILK BOTTLE NNNNNOOOWWWWWW!!!
Umm, yeah. So since she’s a small (and lightweight, like I was) baby, I added more milk to the mush, watched avidly by Ms I Have An Opinion About Everything And It Shall Always Differ From Yours Because I Happen To Know Stuff, and she doesn’t stop til that empty “swoosh” on the bottle indicates she’s taken in every last drop. That was our first try at the rice cereal.
Would she like more milk?
No thank you, Mummee. From now on I shall only consume Things From Bottle With Rice Cereal In It. And just to make sure you don’t skimp on the cereal, I will watch you mix it in, while arching my back in impatience. No baby chairs, please – just as well mine hasn’t arrived yet. Because why shouldn’t you be able to hold me close when I’m hungry and need a cuddle, while attempting to mix cereal and pouring it in my milk bottle as I remind you I’m a-waiting and a-starving by carefully timing my back-arching just when you’re pouring?
Also, that lowing sound you hear which sounds like a little cow is my perpetual disapproval at your slow-ness.
Sigh. I call our pediatrician.
“Did you try tricking her? Letting her see you mix it and then giving her a bottle without the cereal in it?”
“Yeah. She stops feeding immediately she finds there’s no cereal in the milk.”
“Well… technically there isn’t really an upper limit to how much cereal-in-breast-milk she can have, as long as her stomach’s fine with it – she’s not constipated, having hard stools or even having diarrhea from too much new food.”
So for a couple days I put a tablespoonful of cereal in each four-ounce (120mil) bottle of breast milk in the afternoon (thank God Her Highness hasn’t demanded cereal for sleepy night feeds. Please let her not start.) I also try letting her play with the spoon, stirring the cereal flakes about, in an effort for her to like spoons. (Spoons are great for making interesting noises, Mummee. I just don’t see what they have to do with eating.) 3 days later she hasn’t had a bowel motion in as long. Usually she goes once, occasionally twice, a day.
I watch her carefully for signs of discomfort at being erm, clogged up. Bloating. Fussiness. Nothing. Just her usual hate campaigns against Car and Feeding Spoon. (How would you like it if I kept shoving Spoon in your face after you already explained nicely you would not be having any interest in eating with Spoon today?)
Come on, Baby Girl. I’ll even smile in the dead of night if you so choose to have your poop-fest then, just do it. Poop so I don’t have to bring you down to the ped where you may come in contact with <shudder> other germs navigating through the crowded streets (just so happens the clinic is at this perpetually crowded, polluted, dusty area of Central and you have to navigate said crowded, polluted, dusty streets to get there)……
And finally, after the 3rd day, we have a breakthrough. Major. And so everything’s right in the world again. Just because my baby has pooped.
And so she had a bath. And so she had a beard. Everything was right in the world again.
Ps: Ms Rockstar’s up to 6-8 teaspoons pureed organic veggies, 3 heaping tablespoons of rice cereal and a large Farley’s rusk along with 20-24 ounces (600-700ml) milk a day, 4 ounces (120ml) of which is formula while I freeze a feed. She loves green beans. She’s decided after 3 jars that she’s had enough peas. Per ped’s instructions to limit fruit and juice (to avoid encouraging a sweet tooth), the only “sweet” thing she’s had is sweet potatoes. In general I think local kids do get lotsa veggies, I’ve seen mums open flasks of boiling hot congee for older babies/toddlers and the entire mixture would be green.
My anal retentive in this case is less about sweet things however, it’s about cutting down the risk of developing an allergy as much as I can. If unavoidable then so be it, but if I can otherwise avoid it then well, I thought being a little stricter now was less work than monitoring the diet of a child in future who had say, a scary nut or seafood allergy. That was the main reason Rockstar had virtually only veggies and rice and some bread (plus breast milk and formula of course) in the first year of his life – I hoped to be have a better chance at being able to relax and let him eat every darn thing (nuts, seafood) when he was older…