So over the weekend I’ve been sick. Second time in as many weeks. At first I call my gynea’s clinic, whereupon the nurse says “but you can easily take much stronger meds now, what?” Tell it to the pharmacist (in the tone of Tell It To The Marines. And btw I try not to go to clinics as far as possible because I keep fretting about the possibility of catching something else.)
So this rant dedicated to all you stick-up-the-butt pharmacists out there (because one of you just pissed the hell out of me):
1) I EXPRESS MILK 100%. THIS ALLOWS ME TO PUMP AND DUMP AT WILL. AND I HAVE A FREEZER OVERFLOWING WITH SAVED UP BAGS OF MILK.
2) I PUT EFFORT INTO GETTING MYSELF TO PRODUCE MILK AROUND A MINIMUM 8 HOUR GAP IN BETWEEN PUMPING SESSIONS AT NIGHT SO I CAN TAKE MEDS AT NIGHT IF NEEDED.
3) MY VERY REPUTABLE GYNEA CONFIRMED I CAN EASILY TAKE MEDS AT NIGHT WITHOUT IT AFFECTING MY MILK (but if I want to be kiasu there is still pump and dump – see 1)
Oh, and go cold turkey on alcohol, meds, and smokes (not that I have ever smoked anyway) for the entire duration of the pregnancy, pump a minimum 4 hours every day (or, if working, cut short your morning and evening “me” times by a further 90 minutes each, around your work schedule), THEN come back and let’s see if you still feel like being all pompous. Especially if you might risk developing an infection requiring antibiotics (which of course will guarantee you have to pump and dump).
So, you random Dumb-ass Pharmacist – SELF-RIGHTEOUS LECTURE ABOUT A MUM DOING SOMETHING THAT IS “NOT GOOD FOR BABY” DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A GOOD PERSON. IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOOK SUPER PROFESSIONAL. IT FREAKING MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A DEAF PERSON. (No offense meant to deaf people.)
If someone is telling you points 1-3 above then SHUT UP and do not be that bobble-head in some of those car windows. Uh-huh <bob head>, uh-huh <bob head>, uh-huh <bob head>, Is Not Good For Baby! You Are Doing Something Not Good For Baby! It’s like one of Ms Rockstar’s toys where you say any damn thing and pull a string and the toy bobs its head and repeats Is Not Good For Baby! Except this one has an ego.
So, what, You Must Suffer Through Your Cough-Fest Because This Is Normal Motherhood Duty? If I were irresponsible enough to nurse when high I wouldn’t disclose I’m nursing. Or for that matter go cold turkey and do the whole crazy pumping regimen come rain or shine or deranged stock market run. I have never even had an experimental puff of a bloody cigarette, dumb-ass. The benefits of a 100% bottle-fed breast milk baby – I CAN PUMP AND DUMP. So waiting to get in whatever the hell you already decided you want to say – NOT COOL.
Just wish I knew how to say all that in Cantonese. Oh, right, dumb-ass might not believe any of these things are true. (And husbands, before you say anything, remember all the other crazy things you’ve seen the Mummy monster do – you just might also remember you maybe can trust her on this one.)
ps: Is Not Good For Baby Soliloquy ended with “we don’t sell that medication.”