Rockstar: Mum. Last night when I woke up to go and pee I felt something.
Kings and I usually take one child each at night, but with the former away a lot, I’ve been resorting to sleeping in one child’s room while duping the other. (This is more a “privileges” thing, to stave off Who Gets Mummy At Night syndrome when Kings isn’t in town). Technically I could use a baby monitor, but since I’m not someone who ever sleeps easy I prefer to swing any night feeds from the bottom of my own sleeping place instead of having to move all the way from room to room. So every night I remind Rockstar that if he doesn’t see me around I must be next door feeding the baby. It’s worked many a night, but I live in apprehension of the day he discovers the pile of books and pillows under the covers and suspects I actually don’t sleep there ever.
Me: <trying to sound nonchalant> Oh, what was it?
Rockstar: Something in the night. I stretched my leg out and could feel… something.
Me: (thinking Here It Comes and getting all my stories ready, “I put the books there in case you roll off the bed while I’m checking on baby, darling..”) What was it?
Rockstar: It was…….. A piece of cotton! Little Miss must be chewing the cotton (for her diaper changes) again!
Wow. Almost outed myself there.
Rockstar: See, I put it here by my (half-built Sith ship) so I could show you in the morning!
Promptly produces a 1cm-sized bit of cotton. No that’s not a typo.