Little Miss-Speak Rockstarism – Well We’re Not Proud Of It

#6 / #313

Feeding time in the Rockstar household, I emerge from the shower to find:

The Miss (holding up nearly empty bowl): More please!

Me: Did you really feed yourself that?

The Miss: Feed JD.

Rockstar (barely looking up from Playmobil space station): It’s true. I saw her.

Me: Why are neither of you filled with remorse? (Rockstar was supposed to stop her from feeding JD and obviously she is supposed to be practicing feeding herself)

Rockstar (still not looking up from space station): Well we’re not proud of it….

The Miss: Feed JD more please!

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Random pic of Partners In Crime. No they didn’t get to do this for long, because for one thing she’s not wearing a helmet…

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The Boundaries Of Your Imagination Shall Be Stretched, This Saturday Morning

1a) Facebook messages beginning with, “To the fatty running on the track this afternoon,” usually make you steel yourself for the unkind words that remind you once again how ugly people are, don’t they?

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This one ends, “If you’d only look up from your feet next time we pass, you’d see my gaze has no condescension in it. I have nothing but respect for you…..”

Pretty awesome, right?

Only problem is if people don’t tell me it’s going to end well, I usually don’t read beyond “to the fatty………” :D

b) WAIT. There is a replyGuess what it says?

“…Many of us have been that person being judged and then twirled into some weird inspirational story. I was judged at the gym at 400 pounds….. I was embarrassed at 300 pounds….. honestly I was the same person at 195 pounds as I was at 420 pounds.

I tell people now that weight loss should not make you love yourself more. That is the mistake I made.

So next time you look at me on that track do yourself a favor. Look away… I do not want to be your inspiration or your motivation.

I am a runner. I was a runner at 420 pounds and I am a runner today.

And runners do one thing.

They run. Not write about other runners.”

c) Wait. There is a commentary from someone else.

“…….It almost doesn’t matter if the things you want to say are positive or negative – both are alienating, because both require that I be specially singled out as different. 

……….instead of talking to me like a normal person…… you’ve made a series of convenient, grandiose, sweeping assumptions. Assumptions that let you think that telling me “you f***ing rock” is kind, and makes you a very good person for saying something so nice.”

And o-kay, I’m going to stop now. But -

EVERYBODY. JUST. LOOK AWAY. DON’T POST ON FB. JUSTLOOKAWAY!!!!!

<frantically un-likes original like-ing of FB post>

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2) Pew Research Article Indicates Rise In Stay-At-Home-Mums For First Time In Decades. I know why! I know why! To support schoolwork and pack lunch boxes and stuff! I’m serious; I started checking my Facebook more often and you should see some of the things mums make for lunch box lunches. Quiche made from scratch. Potato gratin bakes. Seriously exotic fruit salads.

(These two pics below are from Yee’s Kitchen on Facebook. How can I type kiddie lunchbox and not remember they have these hor?)

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This one's Lunchbox Dad on  boredpanda

This one’s Lunchbox Dad on boredpanda

I shouldn’t be surprised technically, because several of my Korean mum friends have patiently tried to explain to me how they order ingredients from Korean grocers to make their special sushi, but….. some of the offerings….. I can’t even. Oh, wait, wait I think you can save money by being a stay-at-home-mum – because you won’t need to pay for therapy for your child when a helper parents them wrong. You can save all the therapy packages for yourself. Excellent. My work here is dones. <dusts hands off>

(For real though I’m kinda off the hook with Rockstar – he says don’t bother too much about lunch because he “needs” to go play. I can remember Kings telling me not to cook so he wouldn’t feel obliged to come home for dinner if a client meeting turned up last minute. Sound familiar?)

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3) Environmental Working Group (EWG)’s “Clean 15″ 2013 – list of fruits and veggies least contaminated by pesticides. (And the most contaminated – unfortunately apples are no.1 on the Dirty Dozen list.)

Evil. (pic from trans-high.com)

Evil. (pic from trans-high.com)

(Been researching more diet and nutrition particularly for the Miss… As in planning intake frequency for certain foods, not actual recipes – I shall take a lesson on preparation anywhere, from people who are actually good at that and enjoy it. Me, I’m more rough-mental-checklist-of-what-they-take-in-every-week person. How many servings of salmon a week, almost an egg every day (boosts memory), that kind of stuff….)

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4) Prizewinning Catholic Biologist. “….the popularity of his text… make him one of the most influential “teachers” of evolution in America… many of his fellow evolutionists recoil from the old-fashioned religion that sits so comfortably in his soul, seemingly at peace with his science….”

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5) Weird Ballpark Food.

Dis is a pulled pork parfait ("porkfait"?)

Dis is a pulled pork parfait (“porkfait”?)

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6) Frozen Dress Sells For USD 1600. (Told ya this week was about stretching your imagination. As in This Is How Far People Go For Their Kids – imagination – the original retail for the dress was… 20 bucks? :) 

“Frozen.” Now, there’s a market for picking the next insanely popular thing kids want. Y’know, because us parents are just cray.

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7) The Year Of No Sugar. Family of 4 undertakes a pledge to ingest no sugar for a year. While cutting out sugar is a good one itself, what I found really interesting was how the family coped with doing without. For e.g., the mum encouraged their 11 year old daughter to keep a diary “because I knew there were times she would be mad at me and not want to talk about it.”

8) The 20 Most Peaceful Countries In The World. So, my geography in secondary school was pretty bad. I don’t know all the countries in this thing. Oh, you too? So your geography in secondary school was pretty bad too.

9) This week the Miss’ skit is in 2 parts:

“After my cuppa…………”

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“I’m WIRED!”

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(haha no lah, she had a 4-hour nap is why)

Good Weekend, Dears

 

 

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Rockstarism #312 – Lightsabers Get Girls

#312

Rockstar: <holding up a page in his school reader about bird species> Mum. Lemme show you something weird. Guess which is the female?

Me: The dull-colored one.

Rockstar: Yeah! It’s weird!

Me: Because in every other species except the human species the guys are the ones who dress up?

Rockstar: Yeah! Or, make lovely sounds. Or dance.

Me: Oh right, you remembered the crick-

(Like he’s reciting – and now I remember he came back from school one day having learnt that during the animal learning unit sometime back)

Rockstar: “When the male cricket wants a girlfriend, he rubs his legs together to make a sound to attract her” – yeah. 

Me: Do you know why?

Rockstar: So only the strongest get to have babies. So their babies are stronger and stronger. <pause> Or smarter. So they can fight predators and won’t become extinct.

Me: Or hunt prey….. strongest or smartest male gets to feed his family… It’s weird right, humans are the only species whose females dress up -

Rockstar: Yeah… Though if I had to dress up I’d be Luke Skywalker!

Me: Uh… you think dressing up as Luke Skywalker would impress girls?

Rockstar: No, the light saber would impress girls……… <trails off> if you actually need girls….. But I want a light saber anyway <shrugs> 

 

Him taking a swing (he has an actual light saber, but this one he made from parts of a Lego NASA ship)

Him taking a swing (he does have an actual light saber, but this one he made from parts of a Lego NASA ship)

 

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