20-Seconds-Of-My-Life-I’m-Not-Getting-Back Conversations That Morph Into Judgmental Opinions

Sometimes it really can take only 20 seconds to form a lasting and fairly accurate impression… (SOMETIMES, I said.)

Never forgave our insurance agent for “I’m so worried I might pass this Bad Throat Infection Requiring Second Consultation And Bout Of Antibiotics to my (3yr old) son, he had 38.5 fever and we were sooo freaked n rushed to doc. 38.5. THANK GOODNESS doc said it was nothing! Would you like to see more video clips of my son?” at tail end of our last meeting without ever warning me or making any attempt to not make me sick when Ms Rockstar was barely 2mths old and I’m nursing.

So it took very little for me to hate him even more, when I get this phone call…

Agent: <brightly> I have some news! You need to redo some tests cos they said it’s been too long since your last test (which was just before I got pregnant – they rejected me last time because my last PAP smear was two years ago. My Gynea then discouraged doing the PAP smear while I was newly pregnant (well d-uh) and said they were welcome to all my previous medical records but that wasn’t satisfactory for them.)

Agent: (Carrying on, still cheerfully) The good news is, it’s ONLY <list of tests>

Me: But that’s ALL the tests (except the PAP smear. Also, Ms Rockstar is now 4 months old, the last bunch of tests can’t have lapsed by more than a month or two I think..)

Agent: Uh, yeah.

Me: You sat on it a further TWO MONTHS AFTER we furnished you the updated PAP smear, saying there was really not going to be another problem! And now I have to redo EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE PAP SMEAR?? I could’ve just started a new application somewhere else easily without all that time wasted!! Now I have to go through all the tests (i.e. fast) AGAIN??? While I’m nursing??

Agent: Oh, you don’t have to pay for it.

Well excuse me, did you think I view a battery of blood, urine and cardio tests for which I have to fast for in the middle of nursing and caring for a young baby as a fun ride in an amusement park??

So I ended up fasting. In between pumping and trying to burn the absolute least calories taking care of the baby. I-Who-Have-Never-Dieted-In-My-Life canNOT fast. Don’t even care about the loss of baby weight, I cannot do without food. Especially in the middle of the day (because when I pump after a night of not pumping it’s for an hour to produce 10 ounces in one go, on average, and I’m ravenous first thing in the morning. Ms Rockstar has a full morning of Fist Making And Other Fun Achievements with me after, too.)

Since I’m already on about how I hate our insurance agent, here are some other gems:

Agent: (filling form) So. No job?

Me: Uh, no. I quit to raise my son when he was about 2.5 –

Agent: Well, any plans to return?

Me: Umm, it was a very uncomfortable pregnancy and my daughter is barely 2 months (when conversation took place).

Agent kinda snorts each time at my responses re not working, which maybe I’m sensitive about as I’ve had some snark before from local receptionists, cleaning ladies etc about not working (apparently it is their business), making me feel a wee bit guilty for leaving my job. Though much worse for leaving Rockstar. (Why do we even allow ourselves to be made to feel guilty by people we don’t even like, I want to know.)

Me: So…. your wife’s at work now I guess, what does she do?

Agent: No, no (gesticulates and shakes head). She is stay-at-home-mum (to their ~3yr old son). CanNOT leave in care of helper, obviously our expectations and requirements for raising a child cannot be met by a helper.

(I’m thinking, Is It My Cantonese, Or Did He Not Even See The Irony In That, Given How He Just Snorted At My Job Situation? It’s like when an American girlfriend describes one of the very local doormen telling her husband “Wow, you’re getting FAT,” or when one of the local mums asks me, “Why does your son still look like a toddler?” ie it’s not really considered rude I guess…)

Me: Would you think about having another child?

Agent: Not during summer (Recall Ms Rockstar was born at the height of summer btw). It takes planning, many Hong Kong people plan for their children to be born around September. Perfect timing for school applications. Also, it is very taxing on the mum because of the weather…

I can hear you asking why the hell we’re still with this guy. I don’t want to be. He was Kings’ regular guy for the rest of the stuff he apparently never screwed up with Kings. I charge that it’s possible my husband was too busy to notice. If my insurance application hits some dumb ole snag again like timing on tests (btw at some point weeks after his fever freakout he also met me while I was sending Rockstar to Putonghua to sign something else, hence I’m suspicious of the delay as being him sitting on it, rather than something he absolutely couldn’t help) I want my mummy friend’s agent.

Honestly though, with me it’s personal. I’m biased because of Fever Freak Out Incident. Because it tells me he is one of those a-hole parents who thinks only their own child matters. And he happens to be handling our family, our children’s insurance. The policy crap is annoying. Only. But it’s the It’s All About MY Child Only attitude that really pisses me off. I have two of em, one pretty young and at times struggling with naps because of heavy construction works next door, I can still find it in me to inquire after the health and wellbeing of your son, you can’t even pretend you’re interested in mine. I know you know I have kids, we bought their insurance policies from you.

Proper “parent-to-parent etiquette,” according to yours truly <uppity sniff>, is when you have the grace to show some consideration for the other parent’s child because uh, the other parent’s child is probably as important to them as yours is to you. It’s just basic courtesy. So I don’t like It’s All About My Child Only Parents.

See, just like that, a 20-second judgmental opinion. Think I’m wrong? I’m now so biased I can’t even tell an objective opinion unless it walks up and introduces itself.

Hi, I’m Objective.

Hi, Stupid Joke.

Agent: (repeated couple times) Wow, your son is much better behaved than mine!

As in, he’s surprised?

Ok Aileen. Stop Talking. Nothing this guy says is going to sound good to you. Walk away. And don’t look back either, you might turn into a pillar of vitriol and bitchiness.

Don’t know how God stays in love with us, we as a people are awful.

Yeah sorry, wrote most of that waiting in doctor’s clinic on very low blood sugar, before my letter to Ms Rockstar below, but only just finished this one.

Ok must end with something nice. Felt much better after reading 11 best customer service stories ever. Some of these are amazing, they help you see beauty.

And random happy picture:

Stingray Photobombs Tourists (from Reddit, made Huffpost news as biggest animal photo bomb ever). Somehow they don’t seem very happy. But that ray is gorgeous, look at that smile.