One of those adventures in Mummy/ kiddie play land where you just *had* to be there…
The Rockstars, on dealing with Boh Liau
So one day after toddler music class we go for this ride nearby. This ride for 3 kids is 2 x HKD 5 coins. The turtle is free when the Miss and I approach the mummies with kids already seated on the thing, and the Miss gamely hops on. That’s when they turn to me and say in Cantonese, “This ride is HKD 10. We have a HKD 5 coin each. Since your child is now also going to ride, how are you going to pay us for your share?”
<speechless>
One mum then asks, “Is it acceptable she pays 3 dollars? But how will we share the 3 dollars out? What about the remaining dollar?”
<even more speechless>
(How freaking boh liau is this ok, I’m pretty sure it’s not about the money. Besides, they were perfectly fine putting one HKD 5 coin each and leaving the bloody third seat empty, but when the Miss climbed on, NOW they have a problem splitting the cost of the ride?!)
All 3 kids look at us expectantly. The other two grownups seriously don’t budge to start the machine.
I hold up my two HKD 5 coins. “I’ll pay for the next ride.” We’d intended to ride anyway, Rockstar happens to be with us (he can take or leave the ride but will happily join the Miss), but seeing the empty seat the Miss didn’t see why she couldn’t climb on. (It isn’t even her preferred seat, she wants the seahorse, which is taken.)
One mum starts the machine. The other mum says “Wait- what about this ride?” First mum explains.
“Oh, so we all get two rides. Even better. Ok then.”
But the story doesn’t end there. As the first ride winds up, Mum Concerned About This Ride repeatedly asks her daughter if she wants to switch seats for the second ride. The other mum then cajoles her charge into changing seats (not that difficult – the seahorse and the clownfish in the top hat are similar enough rides) which leaves the Miss with the turtle. Again. And we’re paying for the whole HKD 10 second ride instead of, the way Mummy Ngiao and Other Mummy Ngiao calculate it, HKD 3.33 x2 for a total of two rides.
“Are you ok with the turtle again?” Even as the Miss’ eyes dart up at my face to see how I’m going to react about that. The Miss calmly says “No. Want the seahorse.” Silence – from both kids who have now exchanged seats, and the adults. “Uh… Can we swap again? My child didn’t get to change rides.” Nobody moves. The little girl now on the seahorse clings tighter and shakes her head. Both adults avoid my eye when I look at them expectantly.
I can’t quite bring myself to the level of saying, “We’re paying for the whole second ride.” It’s really not about the money – this is Hong Kong Island, not say, a village in China or Malaysia. Living standards here………. The deal is, (I suppose) no one wants to make their child be the one to yield. That’s why neither adult is saying anything.
As I hesitate, The Miss unbuckles her seatbelt and declares, “I don’t want the turtle.” She walks over to another ride and climbs into a car with a dog hanging out the side.
Rockstar, perched on a motorbike ever since he saw all the younger kids on the merry go round, calls over, “What happened, Mum?”
“First they started arguing about how to split the ride, because it’s HKD 10 and there are 3 of us, and so I said we’re paying for the whole second ride which apparently they think is more fair, but now no one wants to let Miss have a go on any of the other animals.” (And yes I know they can hear me.) Then I pointedly slowly slip my coins into the machine anyway, and walk off pulling my best disgusted face.
(Also because if I don’t pay something, they will bitch like crazy about my HKD 3.33 “freeload” – and in front of the kids. If I wanted to be meaner I would slip just one coin in and watch them bicker about the other HKD 2.50 each, or else have them pay me HKD 2.50 each for the other coin to put in the machine, or……… at some point you get the idea you are just getting older over here and this isn’t fun.) As the machine runs, a putonghua-speaking boy appears out of nowhere and dives into the vacated seat.
“Good on you, Miss. Don’t just take what they leave behind for you. Let me get you another coin for the car. How cheap can you get?” Rockstar adds to it, “Whoa, are you serious?!”
We haven’t quite finished our car ride when one of the kids runs up to me and says in Cantonese, indicating the Miss, “Auntie, this is for her.” He hands me two stickers, before darting off very quickly. I glance over at the now-empty merry go-round, and then all around. Both mums are nowhere to be seen, nor is the other little girl. The Miss chooses one and employs Rockstar to stick it on for her, then later hands the other to a new younger child whose mum asks if he can have the clown fish.
Someone left behind a balloon which I quickly scooped up and handed to the Miss when she climbed in the car (and which the Miss later brings home), and in some kind of poetic license the Miss places it in the turtle seat and fastens the turtle’s seatbelt over it – before triumphantly climbing onto her seahorse and enjoying the ride she wanted at last.
Balloons still need to be safe
I guess the solution would be go for 3 rounds so each child gets to ride on all 3 animals and each mommy gives 2×50 but then I guess not as the first two moms were only prepared to give 1×50 each but I guess that is not the point of your post.
Miss Rockstar EQ is really very high. Instead of throwing a tantrum for not getting the seahorse she declares she is not riding the merry-go-round anymore. 😀
Yes re each mommy paying a round. Actually now I think about it, it’s not that difficult for them to change the right coins so I think they were either lazy, or…… it never occurred to them. (I know – so d-uh right)
Her EQ CAN be very high when she wants it to be – her tantrums are usually deliberate (I know there is a whole parenting school of thought that is against this but there are exceptions to even the rule by this school of thought, I believe). She actually has a lot of control – much more than the bro. Unfortunately, she is generally not eager to please – she’d rather yank your chain out of curiosity as to how you will react. She’s very, very curious about how people behave/react, somehow…
Hi Aileen —
You are a much better person than me. I would have put in one HK$5 coin and then left the two other mothers to squabble re who’d pay the other HK$5!
Sigh, I am a much tired-er person than you 😀
At some point it became what I have energy for, and taking away any energy I could spend positively on my kids and instead giving it to cheap and small people just seemed very “ng dai” is all.
Good on the little Miss! Her EQ at that point was very high and I loved Rockstar’s reaction. As for the little girl who gave the sticker, I believe that at the end of the day, kids are just kids and it’s the adults who should have known better.
At the risk of being “flamed” for this, I would say there is some gender bias when it comes to this kind of thing about “yielding” – though parents of both boys and girls can be like that, parents of girls tend to be a bit more concerned about their child being too agreeable and then being bullied by other girls (it was the boy who gave the stickers) so they actually encourage the girls to be tougher (so you are right re adults being the more culpable ones). And yes we have also heard of the “over compensation” producing a few monsters..
That was really nice of the boy to come over with the stickers. I do not agree with parents having a gender bias thing. To me, any gender can be as tough as they want to be. It is up to upbringing, I feel. My parents never made me feel that just because i’m a girl, I can’t do anything. I was sent to Taekwondo classes because I wanted to do it. I got warned that I hit a bit too hard that the guys cried when I did sparing and I was one of the smallest in the class. At the end of the day, kids have their natural instincts that parents groom somehow.