So we often sit in the outdoor areas of dog-friendly restaurants, because we try to include JD on as many family outings as we can. As in, Ocean Park ever allows dogs in their dolphin shows, you’d suddenly find us there a lot more often. I’m this close to writing in the HK Wetlands Park for a dog day-pass except after all my impassioned petitioning (she only herds things on 4 legs! Your pigeons and crabs will go unmolested!) the dog might eat some rare endangered bug (solely as a reflex, you understand, she can’t help snapping at things that buzz by) and people might get a little upset.
Rockstar’s constant presence around JD regularly earns our dog attention from families looking to allow their kids a quick dog fix without the commitment. That’s FINE, we entertain kids coming up to our table to play with JD all the time, unless the dog indicates she’s had enough.
- Proper Table Manners. Ahem.
The outdoor seating area in restaurants where dogs are allowed however, is also the smoking area – not a biggie most of the time because most smokers try their best to keep the smoke away from Rockstar, a gesture we much appreciate.
Now here comes my pet peeve – the Let’s Dump Our Misbehaving Children With Our Helpers In The Outdoor Area While We Enjoy Our Expensive Lunch Indoors Gesture. Uh, newsflash – the meal costs the same indoors or out, at the restaurant we experienced this anyway, and your inconsideration is robbing other diners of their enjoyment. (Any cares? Probably not?)
I have to blog this because I missed the chance to tell those kids/helpers/mums off. (Not really fast enough cos I was so taken aback by the kids’ behavior here.) So we’re sitting out at a nice restaurant and two, four, six (I think) kids aged about 2 – 8 come trooping out to our dining area, some of em rowdily bashing each other on the head with their complimentary balloons-on-sticks. Rockstar stares in amazement, I in disgust, as I watch the 3 or 4 accompanying helpers do nothing but stand around very passively, occasionally throwing an obligatory half-hearted “don’t do that” drowned out by the squealing as all these newcomers to our seating area crowd over.
That is the one time I scowl before the dog does, at the unwanted attention she is getting. I must look like Marie Antoinette to the slacking helpers, icy look on my face above my HKD 150 Calamari appetizer. But they look at my face and keep the kids away from JD.
Not good enough. I should’ve said something. Because from seriously rough balloon-stick fights, those kids graduate to waving their balloons over the steam of our Hot Plate Seared Tandoori Seabass, left at a side table near ours so the sizzling can subside a little.
I’m speechless as a balloon hits our food. It is btw, the oldest child (not the youngest) that hits our food with his balloon. The helpers standing around look a bit uncomfortable but say nothing, make no move. Their parents btw, are all seated and dressed nicely, unruffled, inside. (I know re dressed nicely because a mum and later also a dad step outside to tell the helpers to stop the worst of the balloon fight, and again when one child’s bawling is so loud in the outdoor area it interrupts the lunch of their parents inside. I recognize color-blocked Marc Jacobs cashmere. Immaculate, freshly applied makeup – rich red lipstick. Pearls. Chanel.)
- Uh, any better?
I would be surprised if those (Asian, in case you were wondering – and their parents speak Cantonese and English) kids were not attending some of the more exclusive, expensive international schools in Hong Kong – just a guess, from their English (articulate and grammatical), clothing, etc. But they are some of the most ill-behaved children I’ve seen in restaurants to date.
It occurs to me time and again (having also read similar in Peter Buffet’s Life Is What You Make It), how disturbingly similar the behavior of “neglected” rich kids and their poor counterparts are, I once quipped that your young child might not make that much of a distinction between whether you were at work all the time, or in jail. These kids were certainly “privileged,” but eyeing the impassive helpers standing around, it occurred to me the quality of the “parenting” they were receiving was far appalling to “much less privileged” families whose kids had more involved caregivers/ parents.
Anyway. The helpers do nothing until I remark loudly to Kings that I am about to complain about the disruption of our own dining pleasure. Rockstar is still watching avidly and I say, “Don’t you pick that up. They’re all banished from where their parents are sitting because of their red choices to begin with.” Rockstar’s defensive, “I wasn’t going to do that. I was just looking.”
- OKOK just digging in. Zip.
When I look back, the helpers have herded the children to a different outdoor area – to annoy less bitchy patrons.
But seriously, how selfish is it, to come for a nice meal like everyone else, and then farm off your misbehaving kids plus umpteen helpers to crowd a different part of the nice restaurant where the patrons have well, not brought along their own misbehaving kids/ dogs/ turtles/ whatever. In the outdoor area even when the dogs yap, their owners attempt to politely quieten them…
Also, a suggestion – if you are moneyed enough to say, go expensive international school and possibly work so hard you have to be away, leaving your child with a helper all the time, why don’t you just hire a professional nanny? I don’t see the logic in dropping serious dough on education and branded clothing, and then placing the majority of your child’s care at home in the hands of someone who is greatly incentivized to simply take the easy way out when it comes to addressing bad behavior… And btw, I’ve met a Kiwi professional nanny at Playtown in Pok Fu Lam, describing how she motivated the 15 month old in her care to pick up colors say, via every day stuff like laying out 3 outfit choices for her each morning, I thought she was a much better way to go.
I wonder whether the parents will do anything if you scold the child whose balloon touched your food since the parents obviously palm off their duties to the helpers. I know it is not nice to scold other people’s children but I think sometimes one just need to have a stern word with them to teach them that they are not supposed to disturb other diners, if they want to play, play in some other areas with no people/pets/living beings around.
I meant to raise my voice, “PLEASE keep away from the steaming food,” plus stern look, but regret I really was speechless for a minute – it was so incongruous, these kids from an obviously well-to-do family behaving so badly – with the very proper English thrown in.
The helpers not saying anything may (or not) also be a thing – could they have in the past gotten in trouble for trying (even a wee bit) harder? (Of course they could just be lousy).. Some of these kids don’t just pick up the perfect English – I once had a senior colleague who received tickets to travel to Europe head office along with a good promotion. She was looking forward to the alone time w her hub. Her 8yr old, who btw attends one of the most desirable n exclusive international schools here said “if you don’t bring me along, I will jump out a window.”
I was just thinking the little girl probably knows when not to do that, and how to “perform” in school to not get kicked out… She got to go on the trip btw
Yes, now that I think more about it, I doubt a stern word would alter the child’s behaviour.
It’s pure selfishness of those “parents” and yes, I use the word very loosely to describe such people. They may have procreated, incubated and then given birth to the child(ren) but they don’t have any hand in being a real parent to their offspring(s) and rearing them to be useful and productive members of society. Those “parents” don’t care what their offspring(s) do(es) as long as they don’t interrupt or bother them. And to hell to everyone else who has to suffer their uneducated and socially-awkward offspring(s) being unable to behave correctly in public. Why pay for a nanny when a helper is much cheaper and cane be treated like a slave and not demand much? Times like this I wish there was some kind of exam and testing for would-be parents in order to obtain a licence before procreating.
“Those parents don’t care what the offspring does as long as it doesn’t bother them” – well put. Anyway what is the whole point of “family” or “social” lunch with yr kids when u bring along umpteen helpers n then banish everyone from yr table?
I was thinking penny-wise, pound-foolish; you r happy to drop serious dough on education, clothes – and then leave the disciplining and raising of your child to someone who makes relatively wayy less and is probably not very well educated… Of course the helper is going to take the easy way out right, there is no freaking way they r going to stand firm n swallow the headache of a few earlier tantrums and what-not by disciplining the child – even the helper without the expensive education knows she may as well not bother, how come these guys can’t figure out the helper is going to choose to do that? 😀
Ah Rockstar Mummy, such people don’t realise or understand that as parents their role is a very important one, where their job is to guide, nurture and teach their offspring into becoming brilliant people of the community/ world. Such parents believe that the education of their child is the sole responsibility of the school and that child rearing and the education of the child is beneath them and so they pay someone to do that. These parents are also ignorant and or blind of the fact that child rearing is a tough job and that a helper whom they have employed to cook for them, clean their home and car(s), collect their washing and run other errands, doesn’t have enough time or energy to also carry out that important task of being a surrogate parent to that child. To their narrow-minded brains, they think that looking after a child is well, child’s play and is such a simple job that they don’t need to pay an additional body to actually teach and raise their child, so they can use that extra money for even more designer handbags or luxury holidays. If they had the same kind of knowledge/ insight that seems ridiculously obvious to us, they’d have ensured their child had a (surrogate or not) parent in their lives who was truly doing his/ her job.
I would be peeved and do something too. I have an issue with parents who outsourced parenting like this too. I have affluent friends who simply let their helpers take care of the children and they wonder why their kids are not as interactive/well-mannered etc. They told me I am ‘lucky to have a good and clever child’. I feel so sad for their children whom they have written off. It’s really terrible. I applaud you for you committing to be a full-time mommy. I am too quitting my ibanking job (fellow ex-structurer and sales) to be a full-time mommy.
Thanks for the affirmation.. It helps so much, when I (very occasionally) feel a pang and miss my job.. But the alternative to staying home is not an option…
I have a friend with 2 masters and a Phd who’s currently staying at home to parent 2 boys too… It occurred to me recently that had I made the (albeit wrong) choice to carry on working I would’ve blindly tried to compensate with a lot of expensive schooling and activities, forgetting that teachers are not meant to be substitute parents… And of course with me home, hopefully I don’t even need to fork out for therapy for Rockstar 😀 (kidding! But u get my point 🙂