Another 20 Seconds Of Your Life You Are Never Getting Back Conversation

Pre pregnancy weight: 53kg

Pregnancy weight: 73.1kg

Last weighing a day ago: 62kg

Just weighed: 61kg (Fuh-inally, I guess. But I don’t think I like how I lost that kilo)

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The following are not song titles:

• My Shower Sprang A Leak
• Our Shower Leaked Into The Downstairs Neighbor’s Bedroom
• They Pumped Four Drums Of Water Out From Under The Tub

What? People can have hit songs like I Am A Tree or albums like Waking Up The Neighbors (yet another indication just how old I really am), I can’t tell you what’s been happening by way of would-be chart toppers?

Rockstar took that on his iPod sometime after they pumped out 4 bins of water, and before the entire place got so full of debris he couldn't get in to take any more shots

How bout that oldie but sometime goodie, 20 Seconds Of Your Life You Are Never Getting Back Conversations? 

Me (to helper): The plumber can only come back to take a look Thursday. 9-10am he will be here – ok?

Our not-that-new-anymore (but still very blur) helper: Yes ma’am.

Thurs 9.30am…

Me (to everyone in living room including my helper who is standing right there dusting): No news from the plumber right? I better call and remind him to come, before they start threatening us with the bill for the apartment downstairs. (Mum, nanny etc all go Yah Yah Better Call Him)

Plumber on phone is peevey and claims he was just there and was told to come back so he doesn’t know when he has time to come again. 

Me (to everyone in living room including my helper who is standing right there dusting): What on earth? This guy is claiming he was just here and got turned away cos there was no one home. There are so many people home! Did anyone hear the intercom or doorbell?

My mum, nanny, helper exchange bewildered looks and all say no.

Me: I hate when people lie like this! If he forgot, just admit and come now or the moment he can! (Directly addressing helper) You see (helper’s name), this is why I always tell you don’t lie. You see this guy? So stupid, trying to claim there was no one home when there are so many people home! Very bad right?

(Helper puts on Aiyo So Bad So Bad One face and nods in agreement.)

So I go downstairs to reception desk to see if they can call another plumber. 

Receptionist: Mrs Lai, we sent a plumber up this morning and your helper told him to come back after 10am because no one is home. Your appointment was 9-10am and after that he has another job to do.

I call upstairs.

Me (to helper): Did you send the plumber away this morning? WHY would you do that, you know how badly we need him to come!

(With the master bathroom down there was only one functional bathroom in our whole apartment.)

Helper: Don’t have mam. Really, don’t have.

Me: I’m standing in front of the receptionist now, she says she spoke to you earlier today and you said there is no one home til 10 am.

Helper: Oh yeah. Sorry mam. I forgot.

Back in apartment…

Me: It IS you??!! The whole time we were talking about it, my mum asked you and I asked you and you said no. And why the hell would you tell him to come back after 10am when our bathroom is flooded and I made the appointment two days ago for 9-10am???

Helper: I don’t know.

Me: Why didn’t you at least tell us the plumber called?? Or reception??

Helper: I forgot.

And yet….. she’s still alive. That was an off-color joke, all you maids’ rights activists. I want you to get that down right, before you draft the hate mail and have to go back and amend it.

Super-aggro post. Don’t want to put my kids’ pics up. Instead – does this scary-ass thing REALLY get people to buy more baby stuff?!