Cringeworthy Friday

1) Ilona Shwartz’ pictures of girls posing with their dolls.

This looks like something from Carrie right… (They’re not all scary, I just picked the cringeworthi-est, in honor of the title.)

If one of these had been me, I’d be brandishing a Transformer. My current look is Kings’ fault because I’m actually a Very Short Hair Girl and then my mum said I have to wear some makeup if I’m going to chop my hair off. Little Miss is already making me substantially girlier and it’s… a little strange. And it’s not even like she’s very girly, right now we’re still in that charming phase of flinging balls of a certain color out of the ball pool. Today it was orange balls. Few days ago we had a bone to pick with purple balls. It’s great when you’re Queen of Your Private Ball Pool.

I’m supposed to be getting stuff for Kings to furnish an office, what d’you think, Private Ball Pool for Kings? Warhol can have a painting of a can of soup, why not? For That Tough Day At Work, When You Feel Nothing’s In Your Control. You May Fling Only Purple Balls Out Of The Pool.

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2) Betcha already seen this: The “Super sexy, summertime anti-pervert full-leg-of-hair stockings, essential for all young girls going out” (translated from the Chinese). If you follow the link, you’ll know why I didn’t put a picture up here. I just…. couldn’t.

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3) World Bank begins allocation of billions to help Asian countries deal with climate change. No, it’s not a fun story. Just a should-probably-be-at-least-vaguely-aware-of story. Singapore was having a haze moment, so this is kind of a sympathy link; there’s this whole squeaky clean let’s-ban-the-sale-of-chewing-gum-so-it-doesn’t-leave-that-many-gum-marks-on-our-pavements-thing and then some other annoyingly inconsiderate country messes with their air. I mean it’s like they don’t even get to sell gum and they’ve still got haze?

4) 11 Photos That Definitively Prove Math Is Really, Really Hard.

Like so. Wait for it…….. There. Geddit?

Har har har.

HAR HAR HAR.

Some were too hard. Some were a fun way to get Rockstar to look at a little math.

5) I like this one: 7 actresses who were told they were not pretty enough.

Recognize her?

Or her?

I don’t know all of them because I’m not a cool enough person, but this is here for my own reasons: there are not many inspirations I find as effective in spurring one’s self on to achieve whatever it is you might want to achieve.

One of the things Rockstar used to get was, “He’s too little to be here” (at a kids’ Bible class we once tried out outside our regular church). Kids’ll say anything right, sometimes it’s just really hard to police it, I agree. You’d think the mum would mind the comment though right, but the mum followed it by asking me something like, “Umm, how old is he?” Umm, my child can hear you. The little ears work just fine.

For awhile I would tell Rockstar he was littlest because he was youngest. But when I was pregnant with Little Miss, one day he quietly asked, “Will the baby grow to be taller than me someday?”

And so I said maybe. But not for a very, very long time, possibly by which time you would no longer care. And regardless, you will always be her older brother. And then Little Miss came, and she totally looks up to him, and so he knows it’s true.

And then I said every time it makes you angry when some kid says something like you’re too little to be in that class, kick their butt at the classwork. It is just the most satisfying, legitimate way – prove them wrong, and you need never even retort.

Hence 7 actresses. You cannot change (easily and without plastic surgery, anyways) what God has given you, but boy can you figure out a way to do the absolute best you can with the hand you’re dealt. People who say idiotic things like “you’re not pretty enough” are just doing you a favor. By painting a big fat bullseye on their behind. 

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6) The Bacon Themed Wedding. Way to change the subject.

Til Death By Cholesterol Level Do Us Part. Bacon bouquet, anyone?

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7) National Geographic’s Best Wildlife Photos 2013

Did you flinch?

Some are really, really, REALLY cute. Darn why did I have to set my title thus, this week?

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8) 6 houses painted in protest.

This one led neighbors to apparently also use a little green with purple dots in sympathy.

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Around now is probably when I should give up on cringeworthy because it’s The Rockstars’ turn…

And the nerds shall rule the world. And weekend. Rockstar is showing Little Miss the pictures in the National Geographic he just had me buy at 7-11 because he was taken by the pictures of the Mars Curiosity Rover… and some planet or other blowing up on the cover. So he’s busy telling Princess something about how planets and meteorites came into being or something else to do with a planet or sun blowing up.