[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NDklcTzCvA]
Scene from any kid martial arts movie <iinsert own rockstar surveying dojo>… Note bear on floor, this is the class for the youngest kids, they jump over teddies for warmup
Rockstar was supposed to try out his first Heng Yue Yen Long Kwon lesson like, 2 months ago, that was how long back Kings called the Association about enrollment. The father of our child has decided he will not be learning taekwondo (like yours truly did for 8 years) because we live in Kung Fu Land. Also, he was hoping Rockstar would pick up Cantonese while rubbing shoulders with local kids at some “very local activity” (his words not mine).
(We found out after we enrolled for HYYLK that ESF actually has martial arts in their sports program. Oops. We never checked it out. We were thinking soccer or basketball for Rockstar in school.)
Anyway Rockstar only just hit their minimum enrollment age of 3 years. As we skim the rules, there’s one saying students who are late are to wait outside til the teacher allows them to join the class. Kings promptly starts trying to get us out the door like, 25 minutes before the time we were supposed to leave, in case he can’t find the place.
So we hit Causeway Bay rather early. (Hello, Gold Dragon I Never Managed To Take Picture Of Previously, there was always some big fat bus or taxi blocking the shot from our car window)
But by the time we park the car in the multi-storey, and figure out where to go, we’re less than 10 mins early… I look to the left and half expect Godzilla to come crashing thru the cramped buildings… Go figure…
“Lots of big boys?” Rockstar is hopeful. He has a few female friends in school now, but occasionally still bemoans girl-heavy activities “Yellow group no good… all girls”
Waiting for the lift are 2 little Hongkie girls – I can feel Rockstar’s mild dismay. “No, we’re going for ballet.” He brightens visibly and I hope their (nice, friendly) mum doesn’t notice. We hear a loud voice down in the street… This auntie who’s selling magazines is walking up and down complaining about something loudly – we can hear her from 3 stories up (never discover what she’s mad about though, before the lift arrives)
We arrive to find Rockstar will have 3 classmates, all of whom are almost a whole head taller than he is (and probably a year or more older, this is the 3yrs and up class. They’ve also all been here before). Two are already yellow belts. Two are blonde. Two are girls. One speaks French. The only other Asian (except the instructors who sound like local Hongkies) is a girl who is speaking English in (what sounds to me like) a faint American accent.
By which time we are no longer surprised the class is conducted in English.
There is one of those electronic photoframes that alternates different pictures, and an image of Andy Lau with the masters flashes by. Then one with Stephen Chow. That’s when I think I recognise the master – I vaguely seem to remember a tv ad publicizing the school, where the master swung his sword in a demonstration, slicing thru some boards.
Initially, we don’t have much intention of coming back after this HKD 330 initial lesson. Kings is (I think rather unduly) dismayed that it’s an English class rather than a “very-local Hongkie class,” he was hoping Rockstar would get a big local Hongkie experience. I am put off when a Caucasian mum asks (I think too loudly), “When does (my older child) start black belt training?” Even as another parent is trying valiantly to deal with his child’s (loud) meltdown in French. I take another look at the mum asking and notice she’s wearing a brightly colored long chinese jacket emblazoned with what looks like dragons and other oriental motifs – which is when I catch myself being a total bitch. I manage to move away casually.
But the celebrity pictures and question make me worry this is a bit too commercialized.
(Some kind of misguided “reverse snobbish-ness”? Some of my own martial arts experiences were in tough neighborhood schools where they teach martial arts to instill discipline. They wouldn’t be called good schools academically, but I really liked those kids I trained with. I walked away with some friendships I value til today.)
Loud Meltdown continues for like, 20 minutes.
Rockstar stands at the edge of the group, not wanting to participate.
Kings and I half heartedly cajole him.
All 3 of us are grappling with reconciling our expectations. (Rockstar was expecting a boys class. Now the only other boy is clearly miserable to be here, he is still in meltdown mode.)
I try to shake off Bad First Impression, knowing it’s unfairly colored by Black Belt Question.
Then they bring out the punching and kicking pads and loud yells and suddenly Rockstar’s interested. So is the other boy. Discipline returns as the little kids take turns kicking and punching. It must be difficult, starting a whole bunch of little kids together.
Rockstar is very obviously watching the other little boy in class avidly, and when his father returns, he says something in French – his son immediately comes over and tries to take Rockstar’s hand. (Except half the time Rockstar doesn’t even like holding my hand. But it’s a gesture much appreciated by both Rockstar and his mother.)
I make a point of praising Little French Boy’s chops and palm strikes and note with satisfaction that he goes at it with renewed enthusiasm.
Parents should stick together, it’s hard enough raising kids these days with the internet and what’s on tv.
As the class winds up, Rockstar is just getting started, and his instructor spends a few extra minutes with him at the punching bags. The next class of older kids is rolling in, and we notice there are at least a few local Hongkies mixed in with everyone else.
Why don’t I just teach Rockstar to kick and punch?
Because he would learn just that. Only that. We were hoping for all the other things martial arts school would teach too, in a class environment with seniors, juniors – and the discipline that should follow should skills learnt ever be misused. It was why I was a little put off by Black Belt Question.
My son has a martial arts instructor, and it’s not me. If I really wanted him to do well and learn in the class, it is something I must recognise. He has to see me recognise.
I really hate bullies. But teaching my son to fight without the discipline imposed in a school and class environment (which I don’t know how I’m going to recreate at home as effectively with my only child learning to simply kick and punch in the right way) may not teach him as effectively how not to misuse what he learnt.
But I’m still a mum first. I don’t trust myself to be entirely objective if my son dishes out (though I will certainly try my best for his own good… N-ot that I think it’s going to be a thing, Rockstar is currently in the lowest 3 percentile for height and doesn’t really have that personality anyway.)
It’s a very, very difficult thing – ask anyone who’s ever had their little kids get seriously bullied on the playground. 90% of the time, the aggressor’s parent will never notice or respond as quickly as the recipient’s parent. It’s just human nature. The recipient is not your child.
Rockstar wants to come back. So we did HKD 1,100 for 4 lessons (it makes the first trial lesson cheaper), and will see where we go from there. He’s not getting the HYYLK uniform he asked for til he shows me he’s still interested next week.
As Little French Boy leaves, I make a point of thanking him gravely for being such a good role model to Rockstar. I hope it helps with meltdowns too, his dad was so kind. Parent Karma? They were kind to Rockstar, hopefully Little French Boy is also psyched.
Rockstar’s instructor worked really hard at getting him to finally try to follow some of the moves. Her patience and dedication would have earned my respect far more than any “paper” qualificationas she tried to inspire Rockstar. Then in some of the pictures I notice – she’s one of the more senior instructors.
Rockstar came home asking to practice his punching with me. As he starts, I hesitate – then adjust his fist so his thumb doesn’t stick out. The fist shouldn’t be clenched too tightly, you can hurt your thumb badly if you accidentally strike something hard. It was just the one thing. I wondered if that might be different for Kung Fu when I saw Rockstar doing it, and had been looking at the instructors’ fists. None of them had had their thumbs sticking out.
(But they had also has their hands full with the loud meltdown, and Rockstar was NOT an easy customer initially, he didn’t want to do anything at first. They’re a pretty famous school, bet we could probably have walked away and they wouldn’t have been any worse for it, but they really tried hard with Rockstar.)
