Little Kiddie School Bus Drama

There is something to be said about Hong Kong road rage. Two days of no school/camp from the typhoon and an Amber rainstorm warning still out, my helper goes out with the dog and forgets to pack Rockstar’s schoolbag. I come out from an hour of milking myself and rush to do it. We’re going to be few mins late. Kings drops us at the bus stop about 200 meters away, thereby shaving minutes off our time. When my cellphone rings with the Bus Mum’s call to say they have arrived, I’m untroubled – we are less than a minute away.

Ho-o boy, should I take that back.

We arrive to find one of our apartment development traffic wardens blocking the open bus door, almost yelling at the driver to move the vehicle. I stand with Rockstar behind this guy (whom btw I have chatted with on one occasion before) longing to put my son on the bus so he can be on his way, while this guy is gesticulating away – can I squeeze past or is he going to turn and walk right into my son as he leaves? Surely he’ll be off soon, we’re here already, Rockstar gets on the bus, no more obstruction.

Uh, no.

He stands there arguing in loud Cantonese for a few minutes. The bus driver and bus mum start trying to tell him we’re standing right behind him, if he will just get his face out of the bus and let us pass, and this guy takes it as “disrespecting” him or something and REALLY starts raising his voice.

Bus mum reaches around for me to quickly hand Rockstar over. By now I can’t make head or tail of the rapid fire Cantonese exchange and bus driver starts getting angry too. The warden is spitting and spluttering into the bus filled with little kids – in the calm post-typhoon morning light, I can see droplets flying. Yuck.

Bus mum mouths “So you might want to make sure you’re on time in future” at me and I don’t really respond. We were freaking less than a minute late and an Amber Rainstorm warning is still out after a huge typhoon – I am NOT bringing Rockstar the requisite “5 minutes early” to the bus stop today. In fact I texted Bus Mum earlier to ask if they could swing by our tower because in typhoon-ish rain that comes in sideways there is no adequate shelter at this stop. The answer was No They Can’t Drive Up, and I was thinking May as well cab it to school with Rockstar if the storm hits (cabs can enter our securely covered car park) rather than send him to school at least partly soaking wet from a 200m walk n 5 minute wait under inadequate shelter (if the bus comes on time on the first day back to kindy camp after a big typhoon), even if he is in crocs and rain jacket..

Dis is AFTER the worst of the debris has been cleared (note roads already swept clean - otherwise there would be twigs and leaves everywhere as well)

Yup, a lotta trees look like this now

A second warden appears, trying to calm them (but I think also nicely tell our driver off) and now our bus driver is totally pissy. Soon he’s out of the vehicle and yelling back (which is actually better because then Spitting Head Removes Itself From Inside Little Kiddie Schoolbus).

I’m tempted to go Wow Those Kids Are Quiet, (i.e. are they all freaked out?) but actually they are always quiet. Rockstar explains talking a lot is mostly not allowed, and I recall that kids removing their seat belts before the bus is safely in the school compound on a day the regular bus mum is off have been causes for parent complaint in the past. Rockstar’s first weeks on a school bus have been nothing like what you might imagine on tv in the States, or even from my own school bus memories. (But then I wasn’t in Kindergarten anymore when I took the bus.)

Rockstar gets on either to complete silence or a couple reserved (but cheery) “Hi, Rockstar”s. He’s also scored 4 strips of McQueen stickers for good behavior, so far. They are strapped securely, often into window seats, and then the bus carries on. Rockstar has told me there is like, one child who “never listens” – which means he talks on the bus a lot, it would seem, to himself. (In case you think all these kids-who-don’t-talk-on-bus are Asian, they’re not – at a quick glance I would say about half are blonde-and-blue-eyed.)

Well today they watched Live Canton Drama. I notice a few faces, attentive expressions like little hamsters, watching avidly. I’m relieved that most of them, like me, probably cannot understand a single rapid-fire spittle-punctuated multi-gesticulation-accompanied word. Don’t think these guys are saying their “Please” and “Thank you”s. I’m even more relieved that when the bus finally pulls away a little blonde imp of a boy grins right at me, then makes a face in the window and a shooting action (but still doesn’t say anything on board I suppose since it’s “not allowed.”)

From the bus mum’s call to our reaching the stop, it was literally less than a minute. 60 seconds. Not to mention we just had a big typhoon and there are still storm warnings out. We were blocked from getting on for maybe 2 minutes, and the angry exchange (yes, I timed) took maybe 8 minutes. People on the road need to Just. Chill. The Freak. Out.

Rockstar with stopwatch my parents gave him and making funny faces in the art at our lift lobby

Ps: After school that day, I asked Rockstar how he found the angry exchange – scary or entertaining. He said entertaining – and that he had also forgotten most of his Show n Tell after. Sigh. I don’t suppose I can ask the Road Rage People to be my son’s Show n Tell for the day… But think about it – “Hi. I’m this little kid’s Show n Tell. Because I went nuts at his school bus after it stopped for a minute, and the driver refused to close the door and drive several feet away rather than let the little kid get on. Oh, did the giant bus behind his school bus manage to pass without the school bus having to move. Well yeah, but that’s not the point.” ……!

Pps: Another time while I was heavily pregnant, our then-driver didn’t realize he was blocking another car when he was about to let me off (NOT on a busy road ok, in a little side road in front of Park n Shop, no less) but then held me back a couple minutes to check Rockstar’s pickup instructions. The car behind honked repeatedly as I rushed (as best I could) to get out. When I waved apologetically at the driver of the car behind, he rolled down the window, leaned over and said “Bitch!”

Like, a couple minutes’ wait is all it takes to turn some people here into monsters.