Miss-Speak #80 – The Indomitable Spirit of Queen E Part II

It’s like they can just write this blog for me…

Rockstar (to Her Highness): So, are you going to finish your prawns or what?

Queen E: What day is it today?

Rockstar: What? It’s Tuesd-

Queen E: Yeah I don’t eat all my prawns on Tuesdays.

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Queen E: When I turn 5 I’ll wish to be a superhero. (But) then….. I’ll be naughty… and so God will take away my powers. So then… I’ll have to wish to be the Singing Dinosaur. It’s purple. I like purple. 

Rockstar: <dissolves quietly into laughter>

Queen E <doesn’t notice> (to herself): I think it also dances. I can dance.. But…. dinosaurs probably poop a lot. On the ground. 

Me: Is…. anyone else required in this conversation?

Queen E: Not really. I’m doing fine by myself.

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Queen E: <lets out a blood-curdling scream>

Me: <comes running> What? What? 

Queen E: Ko-ko! 

Me (to Rockstar): What?? What did you do?? 

Rockstar: <NO REACTION>

Queen E: He’s not using the right tone to talk to me! He needs to speak to me nicely! He’s my brudda!!

Rockstar: Well, do you ever stop talking? You haven’t stopped since we got here! Can you stop?? Can you just. Stop?? It’s so. Annoying!

Queen E: <tearfully> You didn’t say “please”.

Rockstar: <automatically> Please –

Queen E: Yeah only Mummy gets to say please.

Me: Then what is Ko-ko supposed to say?

Queen E: He’s not supposed to speak at all. It’s annoying.

Rockstar: M-U-M.

Me: Uh-oh. Ko-ko is spelling. When he spells, he’s really unhappy with you.

Rockstar: MUM.

Me: What? I didn’t take her suggestion, I’m talking to you, aren’t I –

Rockstar: MUM.

Me: Wait lah, I need to think. What do those parenting books say, how’m I supposed to respond, besides “Stop it and sit down before I lock you up -”

Rockstar: Why does she do these things, what are we going to do about her?

Me: I don’t know, I’m trying to think. Well it’s not like we can leave her in the SPCA –

Queen E: YYYAAAAAAAAY I’m going to play with cats. MEOW! MEOW! MMMEEEOWWW!!!

Rockstar: MUM!!!

Me: Umm…. Umm…. (to the Queen) OK, ok, if you don’t stop making all that noise we won’t bring you to the SPCA.

Queen E: <quietens down immediately>

Me: Ok.. ok. S-o… that worked. S-o…………. why do I not feel good about that?

Rockstar: Whatever. At least she’s stopped talking. <disappears back into his laptop>

Queen E: <whispers> meow. <grins widely>

We erm, asked her to play the piano. (She’s…. Hiding under it.)