“Parents hit again as ESF raises fees by up to 5.9%”

About a week ago, the SCMP headline on the front page read: “Parents hit again as ESF raises fees by up to 5.9%.” If I recall the internal email correctly, that’s a fee increase of HKD 340 a month for us parents of primary school-going ESF kids.

Now, a lot of the time, I live under a rock (that has wifi). That’s partly deliberate – I forfeit my right to be a “legitimate” voice by not attending those meetings where they explain in detail what they do with fees etc. (Though at least I skim the emails). So consider this post more a general bunch of thoughts about school fees and things, that got inspired by the ongoing ESF fees thing and the media’s love of drama:

I’m an ESF parent who doesn’t feel like I’ve been “hit”.

Here’s a few yarning encounters why.

Story 1:

For years JD and I would bump into this English couple along the Peak trail (and still not know each others’ names except JD’s), and they would have their “dog fix”, playing fetch with her for more than an hour at a time, as I watched someone save me some work.

Some measure of anonymity gave rise to a few candid views. Years ago, English Guy was a teacher at an ESF. From an opinion formed maybe a decade ago about some salary issues, he said he’d never work for the group again. (He moved on to a private international school where he conceded the kids were markedly worse-behaved than at the ESF he once taught in, I don’t know how long he stayed there before eventually starting his own business.)

This bothered me because I don’t want any professional who might be good to not want to work where my son goes to school. I’d like for it to be the place for them to work, thank you very much.

Story 2:

My mother was a public high school teacher initially so dedicated she chose to remain in a public school in a tough neighborhood where their “discipline problems” were things like 13 year olds prostituting themselves to construction workers for pocket money. The day she stopped staying back after hours to give free English tuition to any interested kids who walked in was the day she drove her new car to work and it got carved with a pocket knife before lunch.

Several days later, her students dragged a boy she’d never seen before in front of her desk. “Cikgu, I would NEVER have touched it if I’d known it was yours. But you drove a different car that day, and it was just so… new…”

Her students offered to, “Teach him a lesson real good.” My mother didn’t exactly have a response on hand. But she did agree to a transfer, to a more “comfortable” school after.

I’m just saying that no matter how dedicated a professional is, everyone has a limit. You would. We all have careers and aspirations, kids to send to college…… 20 years down, umpteen scratched cars, people who might have no idea what you do on a daily basis saying you don’t deserve a raise, people assuming as long as you come from a certain beleaguered industry that has many bailouts you must be untrustworthy…. you hit your limit and it’s normal.

Job hopping in education might cost a professional more than in banking, but as a very general rule I believe:

You lose the best first. To a greater or lesser extent depending on the industry, the best find better places to be first. Cockroaches, on the other hand……. have been around since dinosaur times. Their tolerance level for rubbish is always higher, that’s what I used to say about banking (sorry) – they can tolerate shit better because they’re pretty shitty.

Anyway that is often on my mind when I try to “play nice” as best I can – we think we’re being tough on the lousy people but we have to be careful not to lose the good ones which you will tend to do if you are tough on everyone rather than some effort at being selective about it.

Story 3

… is a qualification. I have a friend who, as the ESF fee increases thereby narrowing the gap between an ESF and a more expensive international school, is considering a shift. After several years of being very happy, she felt her son beginning to fall behind was not highlighted soon enough by his current teacher HANG ON – our kids DO NOT attend the same ESF school. Not even remotely in the same area of HK.

(Well, claiming to think every single teacher in the umpteen ESFs is super duper is like claiming every person in the 2200-strong church I attend is extremely godly and Christ-like – it would either make me a fruitcake, exceedingly blind or some measure of thinking that you are. But for the record because people ask these things, I’m not thinking of anyone in particular as I type this bit.)

Then there are the people with 4, maybe 6 kids within the ESF system, there are people with fewer kids who might still genuinely struggle with the fee hikes… Where there is a need for financial assistance, I hope they look at finding ways to fill the need. (Maybe they already do and me being blur about these things I don’t know about it…)

Don’t get me wrong, no one likes being taken for a ride, and no one ever wants to pay more than they have to. But if you’re happy, your child is doing alright, you’re probably willing to pay whatever you can afford. (If you were already unhappy, then it’s a different story.)

What’s your point, Aileen?

If you are happy say something because the unhappy ones are usually the ones who say a lot more. 

To me the amount is not worth a loss in goodwill or motivation for the people who take care of our children. And then there’s the whole risk-reward thing – you reward whoever puts the effort into your child. Because otherwise the incentive is just to go for the “easy” child.

(I mean if it’s me and I’m “rewarded” the same whether I handle the easy kid or the difficult kid then why on earth would I want more “difficult-to-handle” kids? This is too often true of the entrance interview scene isn’t it?)

Because it’s personally rewarding and fulfilling to work with kids?

Yes it is. But did you not read what happened to my mum in Story 2? I don’t want someone “good” to “hit their limit”.

If you have ever been turned down by supposed “top-performing schools” for reasons like your child is “too stubborn” (true story – and do you really think your child wasn’t bright enough or was it just because there is simply massive over-application and then they start to do things like take the “easier” cases because may as well and many of those kids probably are more “interview savvy” anyway?) – you don’t like it then don’t encourage it.

You’re encouraging it in some small way if you don’t “reward” the schools or professionals who don’t do that, even if it’s just by being “nice” about lost tupperware/ books/ saying you’re really fine with HKD 340 more a month or whatever. The irony is, on one hand you are happy/relieved the ESF interview is (generally) one of the less “stressful” to little kids, but on the other hand you still worry whether things have to be “stressful” to be “really good” cos HK is so competitive in general. (Sounds awful, but I think a small part of that is still true. A bit like Emperor Has No Clothes Syndrome).

Truth is, there are some (not all) supposedly “top-performing schools” who treat you like shit and behave like your kids have a problem and people still want to go there so they allow themselves to be treated this way. 

No one who’s met Rockstar would say he’s…… dumb. Periodically people will send me articles (much appreciated, thank you. My reply was along the lines of smarts are nothing without also the right attitude or personality. We need good education professionals for all of it). I know his is not the “easiest” of personalities (why do you think he’s The Rockstar on this blog? 😀 <sheepish> working on it, but he was barely 4 at his last interview season, around 2, for Kindy interviews) and so my fear is always that instead of trying, someone in this insanely over-populated city simply says, “Sorry – he’s not cooperating. Next, please. Oh, and make it an easy one.”

Rockstar is currently doing well in the ESF group because they put the effort into bringing out the best in him and more happy parents should say so re their kids too. Because the converse is like a tacit encouragement of the kind of child interview and requirements that we all hate.

Call the Emperor out. It’s never ok to power trip or be mean. 

In fact, the best don’t do that. I think the word you’re looking for is professionalism. It’s the in-betweens with something to prove, the ones who are a little insecure.

Don’t like how it is in Hong Kong, you can play a small part. By not encouraging it. Be nice especially to the ones who play nice.

So, I’m an ESF parent who doesn’t feel like I’ve been “hit”.

Kings complains when I post things without pictures so here is a wildly incongruous picture from my upcoming Friday post – I almost didn’t realize dis is a dog