Rockstarism #184 & 185 – Back To School

#184

Me: I saw (one of his good friends) at school drop-off today, he didn’t look very happy. Is he ok?

Rockstar: He said he went back to India for the holidays. To visit his grandma and grandpa. He says they didn’t have any sweets.

Me: (Want to laugh but carry on seriously anyway) Oh he wasn’t happy about the sweets?

Rockstar: I told him too many sweets are bad for you. He asked why. I said naughty germs like to eat sweets and then they eat your teeth too.

I remember telling him something about sweets spoiling your teeth, and then I try to keep it to (small) hard candies, thinking they last longer than the chewy gummy ones where kids probably inhale a few at one go without thinking… I’ve been dreading finally having to bring him to the dentist (he had his milk teeth checked by his pediatrician sometime back) because he hates being examined in those chairs… But now that he mentions, I realize he asks for a hard candy maybe once every few days at home, then within minutes will declare he’s had enough, spit the remainder in a tissue and throw it away. Obviously he feels the same way I do about not having to visit a dentist for as long as possible… Is this not just the absolute height of anal in a 4 year old… (Not that I’m complaining, at least he doesn’t insist on doing that when we’re outside…)

#185

After school one day (when our helper is sick, I cut her interaction with Rockstar from the half hour at school pickup to zero, and pick him up myself):

Rockstar: Mum. (Schoolmate) and I are having a playdate now. 

Me: What, right now? Says who, I didn’t get the memo. <Glance questioningly at schoolmate’s mum who soon returns my bewildered look as I suppose her son says something similar to her across the crowded school reception area where we’re all picking our kids up>

Rockstar: We decided. At the playground.

Me: You guys fixed your own playdate?? You didn’t think to let your mums know earlier?

Rockstar: We just decided at school today. I don’t have anything on after school. He says he doesn’t have anything on today too. 

Me: What makes you think your mums have nothing on???

Rockstar: <patiently> You’re meeting me after school, Mummy. <glance pointedly at other mum and son>

Me: <fake huffily> Ay, you think your mother has no life except to do stuff you want after school, isit?

Rockstar: <authoritatively – not sure fake or not> When I’m busy in school you can do your own things. Can we have cupcakes at the babycinno place <pause> please? (Which has a small play area after they’ve had their snacks)

… It occurred to me Rockstar and Other Rockstar, both younger children in their year, had gone about planning their own after-school activity during the free play part of their school day at Kindergarten… As in they’d had a good time and then when they had to go back in to their different classes for serious learning time, they decided to take it up again after their lessons… And then I had a vague recollection of something I’d read in one of the weekly emails parents receive from the school:

The Open Activities part of our session……………..is the time during the session where children have a degree of choice about what activities they would like to take part in, unlike the rest of the time where the activities are adult initiated. The activities are a mix of adult led or initiated and others which are adult facilitated, but child initiated. It is important that our programme includes this session where children can make choices about their learning and the group that they are learning in, as this element of choice in itself leads to developing independence, critical thinking skills, and language and social skills. Being able to make choices about how they use materials and not always having “a specific outcome” is vital in enabling children to make connections between different concepts. 

There was also a quote from Building Learning Opportunities in Early Years Settings – Guy Claxton, Early Childhood Education Seminar, Singapore 2010 in the same email:

“We have to find a way to make some part of children’s learning not about specific answers and data, but instead provide them time and materials to explore non-obvious connections. I think children should have plenty of time engaging in play that has no specific answers, but that allows children to develop skills that are more intangible – such as curiosity, perseverance, extrapolation, reflection, rethinking, scaffolding, and, even, teamwork.” 

So anyway we took up our boys’ petition. They’re still at the age where we found their initiative somewhere between cute and hilarious, rather than say, presumptuous. (If our husbands did that then well, maybe that’s another story haha). Figured at least we could be supportive… Couldn’t fault the two boys’ logic – they’d apparently discussed that their mums were free and so were they, so why not?

But more than that, it seemed especially important to them that their reasoning and initiative in setting up their own thing were taken seriously, and so we went with it.

And after all, they said “please” 🙂