Superheroes

Out of the blue…

Rockstar: Mum. Superheroes aren’t really real are they?

Me: Yes they are. They don’t dress the way you expect from tv except maybe at Halloween, but everyone can be a superhero. Just help someone.

Rockstar: You mean by trying to fix problems? (He likes “fixing problems”)

Me: How do people usually feel when a superhero helps them? You just did Box of Hope for school right, do you think the underprivileged child (overheard his teacher explaining it that way, made mental note to repeat) you packed the box for would feel the same way? Then you just became that someone’s Superhero. It feels good to be able to help someone doesn’t it?

Rockstar:Y-eah.

I always felt charity is a simple, yet powerful message that every child can achieve – by being kind, by helping others less fortunate. Kindness should also be rewarded as an achievement. (Well they get stickers and awards for sharing in school). Still want to throw in the book-learning-type achievement thing? Think how many more underprivileged you could be Superhero to, if you worked hard/ got good job/ bla bla. I call it my West Wing Pitch because West Wing is one of the things I watch the most often and Rockstar will often ask What Great Deed The Nice Smart People At The White House Are Working On To Make The World A Better Place. (Sigh it’s just too bad we are not American and someday I’ll have to look at transposing said exchanges into workable conversations outside The White House.)

If you asked the child receiving the Box of Hope your child put together, they wouldn’t care if your child could pull off the most complicated music piece in class, or whatever the equivalent is in sports. But your child’s kindness to another in a less privileged position and the chance to make your child feel on top of the world for that achievement is a blessing unto itself. It’s like the chance for a whole different world of “education” opens up.

Putting together Christmas stockings and gifts for kids in orphanages was one of my favorite things to do even before Rockstar was born. It’s because shopping for friends and colleagues’ kids does not give me as much of a “rush” of the warm and fuzzies, so to speak. Friends and colleagues’ kids, charming and well-mannered as they are, will receive many presents at Christmas and on their birthdays. But when I pick hair ribbons or a plush toy to put in one of the charity stockings or boxes, I’m reminded for some of these kids, it’s all they’ll get – I get a rush thinking about the tiny details that I think only the child who receives it will notice.

Two stories that first affected me:

1) One of our pastors has 4 adopted children, 2 of whom were from Chinese orphanages. Over the years we’ve heard him describe how one child used to literally eat and eat until she threw up, born of the instinct to stuff herself quickly in case there wasn’t enough food to go around. The other wouldn’t let them throw out any of the cardboard/plastic packaging that came with his Christmas or birthday gifts. Because he remembered a time when he received nothing, he was constantly amazed he got gifts – packaging included.

2) A high-schooler coming back from a mission trip in Africa described how they had to take turns guarding their water supply. Not because of the lack of clean water, but because of the clear plastic bottles the water came in. The local children would avidly watch when the teenaged visitors took a swig – and fights would ensue over the empty water bottles. They had no toys.

For me it’s a reminder of the true spirit of gift giving; not because you look good in the selection of a cool gift (though that is fun), not because someone gave your child something and you feel obliged to reciprocate out of politeness, not because you could ever expect anything back. And yet what you will get back, the lesson you get to teach your child, will be far more.

Blessed is the giver, far more than the receiver

We live in a society that rewards performance excellence, not kindness, as a general rule. Good grades. Nice paycheck. Achievement. It’s not something you need to drum in that much more, we’re so surrounded by it I bet kids pick it up just from drinking the water or something. But that was how our generation messed things up with the various crises, stuffing each other in the markets, holding off on unpopular calls like regulation on unfunded derivatives when everyone was just making too much money from it…

It’s like when a bank vault bursts open from being too full and paper money is just flying about and you’re the only one going, “Wait! Who’s going to tell the bank their vault broke?” when everyone else is just stuffing their pockets. It’s not easy.

“Selfishness” and a lack of care for the “public good” were not as publicly reviled as character traits til so many things went wrong from said traits in professionals, and it’s still gonna take a generation or two or three to change.

But Mr Armstrong said one small step…

Ps: Yes we are aware it’s election day in HK. Driving around there are all these flags, banners and supporters holding up placards, and then

Kings: <One district we pass> the candidates not sincere one. Both also never show up. Bet they’re both bankers (we know one is). Must have pakat to not show together. So insincere. <Passing another district where the candidate is seen chatting and shaking hands with supporters> You see? This one lah sincere. He even brought his dog.