***Updated at bottom
Sitting in the waiting room before it’s time to go up for my volunteer slot during playtime at Rockstar’s school, I suddenly notice the parent library in the corner. How long has that been there? The school has a selection of books parents can sign out, many (if not all) of which look in mint condition. M-aybe I’m not the only parent whose child has been attending school for at least 3 or 4 months and didn’t know there was a corner of selected books we could sign out <clutching at straws of redemption even as loss of face sinks my boat as water seeps in thru too-thin skin y-eah I have no idea what I just said please ignore>
So this time I’m assigned an area I’ve pretty much never really stepped into, at a table with an alphabet lacing activity and a corner game where kids can throw a giant foam dice, count the spots, and stick Velcro-ed bears onto the corresponding numbers on a chart featuring a chutes and ladders-esque snake.
One of the staff I’m stationed with remarks Rockstar’s been getting excited shooting hoops out back. I… had no idea. We had a hoop long ago, he didn’t stay interested, I figured soccer was more his thing and got rid of the tattered little plastic hoop. But… Soccer is not Kings’ thing. He thinks it’s a dangerous sport and people die from it. Basketball is Kings’ thing. He-of-the-horrendous-triglyceride-level-inspired-street-basketball-games-despite-gruelling-work-and-travel-schedules shall now renew hopes of father-son bonding time. It’s valuable information since Kings doesn’t have that much time to spare and he’s got to make his basketball games or his doctor will make him feel bad.
Then some kids start on the dice game:
“We scored “1”s three times on the dice. That’s 3 bears to stick on the “1” square. So a “1” three times is …? That’s right, three! 1 times 3 is 3!” <feel so good about myself>
(My dad used to get mad at me when I couldn’t tell the difference between 1 X 3 and 3 X 1)
A little girl rolls two 2s.
“2 plus 2 is 4!” Uh, yes! Absolutely!
“2 times 2 is also 4!” <start to feel less good about myself>
Rockstar jumps in, “And 2 and 2 is twenty two!”
“Oh look, how many dots on the dice? That’s one row of 3 dots, and another row of 3 dots, 2 rows of 3. 3 times 2 is 6!”
“6 plus 6 is twelve”
What the hell? Do kids talk math like this to each other all day? I can’t even sound smart to a bunch of Kindergarten 1 kids? Tis a dark day indeed…
Rockstar remarks a couple times that I’m “boring” (well, d-uh ye-ah, how the hell was I supposed to know some of your friends are talking multiplication already?) and wanders off. Close to the end of class I get “Mum. It’s time to go,” (he means me – he wants me to leave and “circle time” to start). “I’ll see you later”.
But I can tell he’s happy I came in. Like the last time, I get a lot more cuddles after. Rockstar’s been questioning a lot of things I tell him again and we were having like, a fight a day. As in, “How come this time you weren’t as angry as last time I <insert minor infraction> ?**”
Rockstar accepts correction for being rude, but sometimes I get told off if I freak about say, him touching the toilet right after I washed his hands. (The difference being rude was deliberate, but touching the toilet was an accident – the Rockstar believes he should take more flak for deliberate naughtiness, less for accidents, and I have to admit it’s a fair point. But I’m a germ freak. I have asked for his forgiveness on this one. He has nodded solemnly.)
You could say with a child like that, I need a school volunteer program like this.
I once heard Christian author Gary Thomas in a Sacred Parenting seminar at church talk about the low success rate of getting a child to be the things you hoped he would be, if you were hypocritical about it. You have to be the things you want your child to be. Then I got the brainwave that since I wanted to motivate my strong-willed child about taking school and learning seriously, it would really help if I could show him how much I too enjoyed participating in school activities and how seriously I took the responsibilities I was given in school.
But the lurve and good behavior I seem to get each time right after my volunteer slot have been a real added bonus. “Take school seriously. Learning is fun!” carries more weight with my strong-willed son when mummy does the same. Little did I foresee after getting him to like school, showing him I was supportive of school would get him to like me.
<youtube video???>
(That last is a reference to “I love you mummy, but I don’t like you,” this increasingly famous Youtube clip of a little boy who doesn’t like his mummy probably for when she disciplines him and so only likes her when she gives him cookies.)
** My answer was “When I got angrier was when you had already done several other naughty things during the day, thereby making me more tired and impatient. If you are mostly well-behaved during the day, mummy is less tired and more tolerant of <insert minor infractions>. Good behavior pays off because your mother is also human. Everyone you deal with is human – you will get better reactions if you behave better.” And yes, I really say that because he asks me quite often why it’s important to treat people well.
*** I wasn’t able to reply in the comments section as the platform is under maintenance, I meant to express surprise if there was really math tuition available at this age, I hadn’t known… I actually thought they picked up some of that math from talking to each other in school or with older siblings at home… for eg those with older siblings pick it up, get encouraged to talk at school playtime, other kids start picking it up (because what their friends say to sound smart always looks cooler) and coming home and impressing parents like yours truly (yeah yeah in a perfect world where your child eats all his greens and says no politely to marshmallows) 😀
