“And I like Stuff,” will one day be carved on my tombstone as an afterthought. Not just because I do (d-uh), but because like all the other things I think a lot about, Stuff is one of ‘em. I can’t help the annoying, incessant thinking when I’m buying.
“Do I Really Need It?” should also be there on my tombstone.
Except I haven’t decided if I need one yet.
Wedding Stuff is king of Do I Need It Territory so here are my excuses:
Elvis Wedding in Little White Chapel:
Ka-Chingg: ~ USD 700, which got us:
Elvis – to pick us up at the hotel, walk me down the aisle, and accompany us for a spin along the strip in a Cadillac with the top down.
(People yelling stuff at you as you cruise along = Free)
A little bouquet
12 professional pictures in the Little White Chapel, presented in their little white photo album
A pastor to formally marry us (who was mildly offended we asked if he had been ordained on the internet like Joey from Friends – apparently he is an actual pastor from a neighborhood church whom they call in to do weddings)
Wedding certificate (Elvis signs as witness) in another little white album
Night drive round the strip in a stretch limo after the ceremony
We asked them what it was like when Britney got married there. They said she came in at 5am and no one had realized who she was – til they read the tabloids the next day.
Oh, and btw a Vegas marriage is legally binding. Who knew?
Excuse: Do something special, just the two of you. It helped us remember marriage is first two people, before it’s Everyone Else And Their Opinions.
Because whether or not your marriage works after you fulfill Everyone Else’s Opinions will depend on you. Not Everyone Else. Everyone Else will also not be living with your choices every day.
I say this bearing in mind I came from a Baba peranakan family where growing up I was taught to not just get my father’s coffee whenever he wanted it (even while running a Chicken Pox fever), but to refill his coffee mug if he had taken a swig.
Rockstar will not be getting anyone coffee (though right now he loves working the Nespresso machine) but I still wear my beautiful kebaya blouses – with cropped cargos and fierce shoes. Peranakan is part of who I am. Ditto cargos.
The Clothes:
USD 78 white embroidered bustier from Victoriassecret.com (no longer available).
SGD 200 tailored knee-length plain white satin circle skirt. Very Carrie Bradshaw, circa pre-unwearable-Sex And The City Movie Sequel fashion.
Fragile, ornate, expensive white dress to be maintained for generations to come (not to mention making any daughters you might have follow your fashion choices) = Too Much Headache For Me. (But rentals, considering you keep nothing but the photos, bring me no satisfaction either.)
~ HKD 1,500 Marc Jacobs Mouse shoes in white, on offer
~ HKD 13,000 (this is where most of my “wedding budget” went): limited edition Chloe Bracelet Bag – the very recognizable shape Chloe was famous for during Phoebe Philo’s reign. Off-white leather, convertible strap, heavily hand-embellished, only one piece for sale in Hong Kong (though that actually matters little to me since my girlfriends and I have been known to buy the exact same thing – it’s how you wear it that counts).
The bag has been everywhere, from pubbing with jeans and cargos to the most formal banking events with classic black cocktail dresses or pant suits. (Strangely, it’s the work events where it draws compliments).
Excuse, excuse, EXCUSE: Yes, I paid for it myself. Yes, it is still one of the most expensive accessories I own. Philo’s bags are often heavy and inflexible because she goes all out for fashion, while lavishly sacrificing function, whereas this bag is very light and convertible.
Any daughter I have will inherit this bag.
“Second change” outfit:
~ HKD 1,500 each: Matching chiffon sleeveless blouse and gathered knee-length skirt in dusty (not-sweet) pink from Anteprima (because I wanted them to double as work entertainment wear and it’s a popular Hong Kong Tai-tai as well as working woman brand if you don’t want to wear a suit but still want to look trendy-professional).
Both live double lives as part of office / work cocktail outfits and are rarely seen together
~ HKD 1,500 Chloe bib necklace, on offer
Usually seen dressing up non-branded t-shirts
~ HKD 1,000 Rafe gold sandals with crystal briolette dangles – also bought on offer
Kings wore Hugo Boss suit and white shirt from Ap Lei Chau Joyce Warehouse and tailored to fit perfectly.
Excuse: It’s your wedding. You get to shop even if you bought everything except a wedding dress. Especially if. You would be delighted to re-use all your other Stuff, but kinda hope never to need the wedding dress again.
One of wedding’s Great Ironies.
Hair and makeup:
Zero cost. Did my own make up (and most of my makeup is from Watson’s).
My friend Eric (Chan – the Malaysian artist) did my hair – plain French twist, along which he deftly pinned 2 rows of tiny white flowers with crisp green lime leaves for the white outfit, and fist-sized deep reddish-brown imported roses for the dusty pink. Changing the flowers in my hair took him barely 15 minutes.
Flowers:
Zero cost. Gift from Eric (he ordered the flowers from a florist friend, then made up the bouquets himself). I had no idea what I would be getting beforehand. (But then it’s Eric, have you seen his work?)
1 small green and white bouquet with white feathers, 1 reddish-brown bouquet of fist-sized roses with some Strange Dark Brown Things that got a few of Kings’ clients asking for his card.
Negligible cost for flower arrangements: Little gold glass bowls we bought from Metro’s housewares department and filled with green limes and leaves we from the market (guests asked to take most of the little bowls of lime and leaves home after the wedding.)
Venue:
SGD 149 per head for around 60 friends, colleagues, clients at Flutes At Fort Canning, Singapore (Kings’ clients are predominantly Singapore-based). It’s a white wooden bungalow on a hill, with black trimmings, large veranda and windows, filled with paintings you can buy off the walls.
The wedding color scheme was white, with green limes/ leaves and a tiny amount of gold.
Flutes is known for their wines, and while neither of us can do more than tell the very good from the very bad, not so quite a few of our guests.
The wine had our wedding picture on the labels. Guests took some bottles home (unopened) as souvenirs. And yes, with our picture on it, we wanted to make sure it was good wine.
~ Negligible cost, for décor – white dove paper chains we strung along with the restaurant’s own strings of lights and greenery. We scattered little limes and leaves on the plain white linen tablecloths. Nothing satin-y or ribbon-y. The whole semi-open space smelt vaguely of lime.
Excuse: I skimped elsewhere because I wanted to splurge on really, really good food and drink.
I’m excluding the Penang dinner hosted after the Seremban one by my parents, organized by my mum because I consider it her event not mine, for which she has lovingly compiled her own scrap books, guest books (one of the tea ceremony which ran like a duty roster and one for the dinner), and umpteen photo albums.
My father insisted on not serving alcohol. I’m sure I can’t imagine why…
My mum stayed up til the wee hours of the morning with friends she hadn’t seen in years, who flew in for her event, Nyonya kebayas and all. We had to call her down to the bridal suite to say goodnight, after which she disappeared back up to her friends’ rooms.
It was one of my greatest pleasures as an only child to wear whatever she wanted and let her have the wedding of her dreams.
Wedding Invites/ Guest Book:
~ SGD 60 for a large, acid-free paper ring-bound plain white drawing block. Guests were given giant markers to write with. Not a flower or ribbon in sight.
Can’t remember how much for invites but they were postcards, so I don’t think they cost much – reproduction of Keith Haring’s Wedding Invitation
(yes, the name of this art piece is Wedding Invitation).
Surprises:
1) We played the Elvis wedding video while our parents sighed and pretended not to watch.
My grandmother declared Elvis was “very handsome.”
2) Many guests exchanged business cards. My (then) colleagues who asked specifically to help out by manning the reception table cold-called some of Kings’ clients after the wedding. They told Kings “must try mah” over the Bloomberg the next day. (Kings’ attitude with his institutional clients is, they should be free to try out everyone’s coverage – and still come back to him. I was a little peeved because it was supposed to be a wedding dinner, not a work event.)
3) Flaming Lamborghinis and pink champagne flowed quite freely. There is a guy in a black shirt in many of our pictures, cheering guests on as they downed Lamborghinis. We voted him the guy who had the absolute best time. He turned out to be one of our waiters.
This time, I picked the designated in-case-of-emergency person – one of my friends/ mentors, Doc Ang (lovingly so named by subordinates and colleagues for his PhD and 2 Masters’). Brilliant Equity Derivatives Structurer, Don’t Give Me That Bullshit Desk Head and 2-time cancer survivor, he doesn’t drink.
Doc Ang drove me home that night. Years later he succumbed with little pain to a 3rd round ofcancer in his sleep when I was in my last stages of pregnancy. Kings was by his bedside a day or two before, holding the phone to his ear so I could speak to him. His subordinates wept openly.
4) No cake, no champagne pouring, no grand entrance for the bride, none of the traditional stuff (we already paid all respects to tradition at our parents’ wedding fixes). Not a sharks’fin in sight. Just very good fusion food and drink. And we spent a lot of time mingling with guests.
We reminisced with old friends, swapped stories, shared dreams for a future. No excuse.
