I See Lai See (But Not Yee Sang)

There are 2 rather obvious (to me) differences between spending CNY in HK vs in Malaysia. One being that when you eat out on festive days like Reunion Dinner (and btw lotsa restaurants are likely to be open because it’s like the day they get to charge the most haha), you don’t have “Lo Yee Sang.” That came as quite a surprise because every time we’re in Penang and Seremban we have like, 2 or 3 Lo Yee Sang dinners per location. In HK when I asked where we could get it, a Hongkie friend blinked and said “Erm… Japanese restaurant? Raw fish, right?”

So if someone knows why it’s so “heng” (popular) in Southeast Asia, please tell me – because what we’d taken as a given (sorry) in SEA CNYs is really not that common practice here… Interestingly when I asked another local about some of the other traditions, trying to compare them with what we have in Malaysia, the remark I got was along the lines of, “Um, sometimes overseas chinese cling to the old-fashioned traditions much more than other chinese because they are so afraid of losing their heritage. I remember my cousins in Canada were not allowed out of the house without first sitting down to dinner – no matter if they had dinner arrangements with friends, no matter the time, no matter if they were not hungry, they had to sit down and eat at home with the family first. Here, we’d just go out….. Have dinner with family probably outside on festive occasions too…”

The second big difference is the Lai See/ Ang Pow/ Red Packet etiquette. If you’re in HK during say, the first week of CNY in particular, you’re expected to give Lai See to your apartment doorman/ receptionist/ security guards, the waiters in your regular restaurants, all your unmarried colleagues/ subordinates…… not just friends’ kids.

My first CNY at work, I thought it was HKD 100 per colleague (and I’m talking all the back office, RM assistants etc would go around the office in the morning, i.e. at least 20 people who will wish you and collect – one year we could hear yelling coming from a beloved Aussie boss’ office, above the “Sun Leen Fai Lok etc etc” wishes “Wait!! I’m not ready!!” as he frantically stuffed lai see packets first thing in the morning back at work – in front of his very amused local staff) – til the local girl under me said “no lar, you want to go broke meh?” She told me to give her HKD 40. I did HKD 60 for everyone, still feeling a little unsure. I think that was on the low side for a team head, but my friend explained I was seen as a “junior” team head in the sense my own team was small, I was still in my late 20s, and had only just gotten married myself…

For your favorite assistant/ person on your team, HKD 500 is usually quite a good one. (At least Kings and I have both received and given that amount fairly often. Bearing in mind however we were both in the banking sector and I’m not sure what other industries are like.) For a f-airly good friend/ colleague’s child, HKD 200. Or I think HKD 100 may also be acceptable. For the Starbucks lai see box I guess HKD 20. Though I’m giving the Kosmo guys (who don’t read my blog) HKD 50 because they do special stuff for me, especially when I was having morning sickness and very picky about food/ drink – they’d offer to save my favorite foods (they run out often), watch my things when I had to run off and puke… better make it HKD 100.

I’m aware some don’t like “odd” numbers (i.e. 30 or 50 as opposed to 60) but I’d been ignorant when I first got here and looking back I haven’t gotten ‘tude from HKD 50… I have gotten ‘tude for not giving anything 😛 (I think if you give to doormen and etc they pool everything together and don’t really take note what you give – unless very big or small – but they will notice if you don’t give anything)

We were chilling at home for most of the first day of CNY (Kings slept the entire morning and most of the afternoon – sleeping in is the ultimate luxury for him because with client entertaining, travel and regular dealing room hours he can go 6.30am at work til 11 – 2am at night fairly indefinitely – so letting him sleep is our best gift to him during holidays), and then my parents decided to go for a walk to the supermarket. In damp, windy 10 degree Celsius weather. When they have just flown in several days ago from scorching 35-ish degree Celsius weather. And they’re 66. And have never lived in a cold country or even seen snow, that I know of. (They have the same attitude to the most horrendous of flus, and surgery. I am a wimp of an offspring by comparison.)

So then I armed my rather adventurous parents with a stack of HKD 20 lai sees, as they moved in and out of the complex, entertaining themselves in the grounds, because it was the first day of CNY. My mum was all Really Meh. Have To Meh. But we overlooked it when we first came here, and got some ‘tude from our (then) apartment people. Maybe partly also where we lived. But then again even at Sai Kung village we’ve had obnoxious waiters come up and bow and wish us happy new year – and stand there waiting for us to fumble a lai see for them.

And then it occurred to us this was still easier than the tipping cultures of the West, if you consider it a tip you only have to do once a year for good service. And so we do it anyway, never mind Have To Meh. The rest of the time no even expects you to tip. (But if you do, like we do in our regular haunts (I’d also seen my old local RMs do it even if it was just HKD 20 to a favorite waiter in a very local traditional tea house), because they don’t expect it we get super service.

Rockstar’s baby bowls/ tupperware we left at the restaurant would be returned to us zip-locked and labelled, with an apology for not also washing it “We didn’t had any baby-safe detergent”. Also “If you were coming next week, — days we’re booked up for functions.” And “We saved Rockstar some sausages from the breakfast menu (because he’d requested them last week or something), would he like breakfast sausages with his lunch this week?” Not to mention Rockstar gets lychees with ice in a glass from the bar, marshmallows or a spare macaroon, extra balloons… All free. At our regular places, we didn’t mind tipping for all that. The value of what we get is actually quite in access of the “meagre” lai see we are giving, I’ve come to view it more as a reaction to the “compliment” of the lai see we are paying to wait staff…)

I think it was service guru Ron Kaufman, who at a seminar once advised tipping before a meal etc – to ensure good service, rather than waiting for the service to be good/ bad and then tip accordingly. In HK I think it’s particularly useful, because compared to other parts of asia I’ve been in, your service suddenly gets markedly better. (Not markedly the case in Singapore or Malaysia, is my experience.)

Why Leave It To Chance, Whether You Get Good Service Or Not? Mr Kaufman said, delivering the seminar to the service industry in yes, Hong Kong… I wonder if you can ask for your tip back at the end of the meal if the service is still lousy….