Kings Goes A-Shopping

Cova Pacific Place where we stopped for a snack. Yes it looks swanky and so

If you knew enough about my husband, you would know this is news. Getting Kings to shop is like getting Rockstar to dress up nicely and perform Mozart’s Magic Flute in concert <snort>

So Kings is flying Mon-Fri for couple weeks, and per prior agreement he is to inform me before he takes off/ lands (because he has changed flights and forgotten to mention before and then hours after he was originally supposed to land I’d literally be Where In The World Is My Husband?), only this time it’s “Ok-so-I’m-coming-home-now-and-we-have-to-go-shopping-ok.” (At which point I’m not sure that is my husband on the other line, maybe he’s someone else’s.)

<snort> Sorry. Still thinking about Rockstar all dressed up in something I like and performing nicely somewhere. Just a real ludicrous image to me. So not my son. He be not a mummy-pleaser in the packaging.

Kings is another one. At one point in his old place it was a little joke that he occasionally wore the only watch he owns, a limited edition severely simple (chosen by Kings) Omega my dad gave him for our wedding, and there was a guy whom he then hired who wore a watch that cost easily 10 times more. And as it turns out, he then went to his new place where everyone is umm, dressed real sharp and someone kinda went Dude, you gotta dump that shirt. At which point I am extremely appreciative he had the decency to claim all credit: “Yeah my wife did say, but I don’t listen…”

So yay, shopping. No more loud(ish) shirts or even the semi-casual Ralph Lauren ones he bought on a whim. I ask another banker wife/ mummy label lover what’s a must-have tie. (Used to love Paul Smith ties and cufflinks, all my gay (and some of my straight) friends and colleagues from way back like their awesome colors and designs. Also love lotsa Hugo Boss – men’s and women’s wear.) My girlfriend highly recommends Hermes. Sigh. It’s kind of one of “the” banker tie labels, I know. Except like she used to, I assumed everything by the label was horribly expensive and Kings is very rough on his stuff.

As it turns out I score a simple navy tie with a tiny snowboarder emblazoned front and center for just HKD 1,600 thereabouts. That’s “just” several hundred HKD more than the Ferragamo ties we used to get in the airport.

We can get a fair amount of Hugo Boss (which is kind of our staple) at the branded goods warehouses in Ap Lei Chau, especially at Joyce. Except Kings wants severely simple (ie rarely gets very marked down) shirts so we go to the actual store, where we pick up 3 blue ones. (I know! THIS is shopping??) Kings attempts a white, but has really never worn white white, and I worry about the quantum shift in his comfort level so I discourage him. This is a guy who claims the feel and width of that exquisite Paul Smith tie I once got him can spoil his morning when he’s tying it because it “doesn’t feel good” (and his ratty old Prada Warehouse find with the loose threads sticking out apparently always feels good). But well hello, Hermes. <smug>

I remember my mummy friend, also Asian, giggling “I bet your hub has to get the sleeves shortened, like mine does.” Especially with the European brands it seems like we are forever getting sleeves shortened unless we close an eye to the slightly longer drop of the cuff. This is also partly why Kings often doesn’t bother with a watch – he’s Oh My Shirts Are Mangled. Need New Ones. No, Can’t Wait To Alter Sleeves, Have No More Good Shirts, Need To Wear New One Now. And then the ill-fitting cuff messing with his watch irritates the hell out of him so he ends up chucking it back in the safe for the next few months. The watch, not the shirt. If he thought he could get away with the shirt though, he would probably do that too. Come to think of it, shopping in an HB store in Kowloon once, I remember a skinny, pale Putonghua-speaking shopper walking out of the changing room and standing completely shirtless in the middle of the store leafing thru his selection of shirts.

No, he did not have a good body. Yes, the salesgirls looked embarrassed. Yes, he was probably the biggest spender in the store that day – HB shirts are ~ HKD 1,600 – HKD 2,600 thereabouts, when I glanced at him before leaving, bare-chested and still standing in the middle of the store, he’d already selected 5 like they were pasar malam bazaar shirts.

Anyway, without our requesting it, the young man attending Kings deftly measures out the perfect sleeve and cuff, finds time to slip bored Rockstar gamboling in front of the mirrors 2 Sugus sweets, and informs us the shirts will be ready for pickup within 24 hours.

(Btw there are actual blogs supposedly by “i-bankers” that bemoan how you especially have to wear blue shirts most of the time, but apparently it’s a girl magnet right after hours in the bar where you can’t exactly hand out business cards. Serious ok, I actually found someone saying that on the web. Clicked it closed before checking when it was written, but I don’t suppose it’s really in vogue to date “i-bankers” anymore is it, maybe nowadays girls wanna date pilots or vets. I mean, thinking about it, I probably wouldn’t have minded dating a vet, though that ship has sailed and I’m no spring chicken anymore. No actually I wanted to be the vet…)

Then Kings’ eyes fall on a briefcase. I take this as how out of touch I am (darn!) – it’s supposedly the toughest all-over textured-leather boxy briefcase in the store, and I guess the price at around HKD 15,000 because it’s HB. Belatedly I remember HB isn’t really that much of a bag brand (it’s not Louis Vuitton or Chanel) as Kings looks at HKD 5,800-thereabouts tag and buys immediately. For that price I like it too. (He had good briefcases before, but most recently he was using a HKD 400-ish warehouse find – he bought a few because he’s so rough on them he figured he’d just keep replacing them – “Disposable Briefcase”.)

But I drag him out of Ermenegildo Zegna and a couple other HKD 6,000-ish shoe stores because I want him to take an oath to be kinder to his things before he starts dropping serious money. As in, there was once he actually donated his new work shoes instead of the old ones to the Salvation Army, this is his level of usual bo-chapness about packaging ok… And well I have just never paid that much for shoes, not even close – because I scoped out sales and warehouses so much. And then I put an extra sole on them (cobbler in alley somewhere in Central near Shanghai Tang) while they’re still brand new. Kings on the other hand buys when he suddenly realizes he really needs to buy, thereby paying full price and is so rough on them even if he resoled anything the rest would still look like kiam chye (boiled salted vegetables – it’s an expression) <sniff>.

Rockstar of course hates all shopping (except maybe for groceries at Wellcome) and has been moaning about how he’s had enough from his perch on Kings’ shoulders right when we were getting the Hermes tie. So he has a lobster bisque with heavily buttered bread and a taste of my seared scallop linguine while Kings ventures into Lane Crawford’s luggage department armed with my Lane Crawford Discount Card. And returns lugging a giant Tumi shopping bag.

Can you believe it’s taken him 12 years to buy a garment bag for his suits/shirts, when he travels like, all the time? This is because every time he gets to the (usually pretty swanky) business hotel he’s staying at, one of the first things he does is call housekeeping for an ironing board.

My husband’s ironing puts every single one of our helpers’ to shame. (Mine too. My shirts all have a bit of stretch in them, I find they don’t seem to need as much hard core ironing.) <hangs head>

My i-banking househusband. Maybe just a little cooler than a vet.