Lord Archer’s Lessons

Rough account re Lord Archer ok….. This is an e.g. of some of the ra-ra things I used to say in market commentary to RMs and ex-colleagues on a gloomy cold Monday like today… 

In 1974 (now) best-selling English author and former politician Jeffrey Archer, having been at 29yrs in 1969 youngest ever member of the House of Commons, was faced with probable bankruptcy after getting involved in a fraudulent investment scheme.

Instead of resigning himself to bankruptcy, he writes his first novel – Not A Penny More, Not A Penny Less – a fictional account based on his investment experience. He avoids bankruptcy from the proceeds of the book, and decides to become a writer, at the budding age of 34.

In 1987 it is reported he paid prostitute Monica Coughlin for sex. He sues The Daily Star newspaper for libel and wins GBP 500,000.

In 2001 he is tried and convicted of perjury (for the 1987 case – a friend who claimed Lord Archer owed him money and Lord Archer’s former assistant testified his 1987 alibi was fabricated (even funnier was one version I read long ago that said this “friend” provided the alibi for the wrong date) and sent to prison for 4 years. He has to pay back the GBP 500,000 to Daily Star plus GBP 1.3mio in legal expenses. He’d also just been selected by the Conservative Party as a candidate for the London Mayoral Election and has to withdraw.

Lord Archer, who must surely be used to some of the finer things in life by now, gets sent not just to any prison, but Belmarsh, a Cat A prison for murderers and hard-core drug addicts and the like, before later being transferred eventually to Cat D where they put the white collar crime boys. (At this point he is 61 and when most people are happily semi-retired, he finds himself in a slammer surrounded by what are considered the “worst” of criminals. He was even strip-searched like the other criminals. Was just thinking that aged 35, I already have no taste for being put in a slammer with convicted murderers and hard-core drug addicts. Don’t even bother wondering about the strip search.)

In jail, Lord Archer writes The Prison Diaries, arguably some of his best writing ever, in which he elegantly takes apart the judge who sentenced him and the people who helped put him behind bars. What better revenge than having thousands and thousands of readers read your side of the story and having it immortalized in a bunch of bestsellers?

He also uses the inspiration from interacting with the criminals for Cat ‘O Nine Tales and parts of the plot of Sons of Fortune. You can’t help being in the slammer but you can make it look like it’s a good thing after all. Kind of. Well, or you could just fall apart. Which would you prefer? Hmmm. This is hard.

It’s not like this multi-millionaire-with-title author is perfect or particularly brilliant – this guy makes HUGE mistakes in life (Near-Bankruptcy. Prostitution. Lousy alibi. The Worst Judgement In Friends Ever.) He’s probably made more spectacular mistakes than most of us. But he doesn’t give up. And there’s no wasted experiences, he seems to use everything. Well if you have to live it anyway, why not get the most of it to make it more worth your while?

Gotta be a lesson in there somewhere if last week was a crap-filled week. Or couple years in the slammer. So we can come back swinging on Monday.

Hai..... YA! Take that, dumb-*ss establishment!

Did you smile?

Well, can’t blame a girl for trying 🙂

PS: In Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make A Big Difference he talks about how our behavior is at times shaped a lot more by our immediate environment than by our longer term values – in other words if you’re in a shitty environment or being treated shitty, you are also likely to behave out of character and be a shitty person, as a reflex you may not even be aware of. You might be an essentially good person, having a bad day, tempted by the instant gratification of stooping to a cheap shot.

I’ve been tempted real often. Sorely tempted. (3 mergers, and a reporting line that could change 5 times in 3 years alone, what do you think?) In Tipping Point, the author elaborates how most of us have some consistency in behavior because we are pretty good at controlling our environment. In other words, don’t stay sitting in the cess pool til you can no longer smell it because you’re so used to it. Thank God for Starbucks and Cova, where if I felt helpless I could go do something nice and unrelated for someone else. And thank God for the blessings I had – sometimes it was literally You’ve Been So Blessed, Why Would You Fail To Turn That Into Praise By Going Against Your Conscience? Do You Think You Can Do Nearly As Well Without Keeping Him That Near You? Lemme look at that again: 3 mergers, 5 different reporting lines in 3 years alone – for you not to ever have been cut when everywhere the market is bad, you had a baby (in the first place you were hired pregnant to boot), banks are scaling back – He must have been very close! 

Thing is, the cheaper the person, the cheaper the shot they are going to take at you. (Well, d-uh). Want revenge? Do so well in whatever you’re endeavoring that they want to kill themselves from the jealousy. In fact, remember to forget they exist while you’re at it. They are that un-worth-it. There are reasons they call the people who take cheap shots cheap people. There are reasons you don’t like or respect them.

Pps: No prizes for guessing I’m probably writing about Malcolm Gladwell’s Tipping Point soon…