Once Upon – And How Was YOUR Weekend?

Once there was a Little Miss…..

What’s She Up To Now?

Who loved dancing in the wind. So when her mummy took her out collecting sticks for her Ko-ko to bring to school for his latest project, she went maniacally waving leafy twigs about.

Turn left…

Turn Right…

Front And Center…

Ta-Ra.

(Note serious facial expression – in case you wondered if she and Ko-ko were related…)

And so it was all good, her Ko-ko found most of the rest of the stuff he needed to bring in to school.

But then on Sunday, her Ko-ko woke up, and something felt wrong. He threw up a couple spoonfuls of his breakfast banana with cereal. But then he felt better, consumed a little more food, and since he had almost never, in their mummy’s memory thrown up more than once at a time, they proceeded to church as usual.

Whereupon he threw up before they made it to the 9th floor children’s service. Their mummy caught most of it in her cupped hands while the Miss was still strapped to her wondering what that noise was, but as more started to spew on the elevator floor people exclaimed, and they hopped off on the 8th floor along with about half the lift’s occupants who decided to take the stairs the rest of the way.

(Come on, do you really want a picture of that?)

After her Ko-ko was done emptying the rest of the contents of his stomach, they proceeded to the 10th floor lounge area, whereupon her Ko-ko changed his shirt while she visited her favorite spot – the water cooler (she loves water, you understand).

But just when they thought they were out of the woods, the Little Miss would take a few steps away from where her brother was sitting quietly on the sofa…………………..

And this would happen.

It’s not like her mummy could even say “Things happened so fast,” because, really, they didn’t. She was 3, maybe 4 feet away from her mummy and brother. She wasn’t even going that fast. She didn’t even hit the coffee table square on and it wasn’t even the corner of the table or anything. It was so unexpected and anticlimactic. Until someone jumped as she was picking herself up, and said “Blood!!”

It looked like she was crying blood, because the cut was so close to her eye, and somewhere among her tangled insides, her mummy’s heart sank – How were they going to rush her to a doctor on a Sunday, what with her Ko-ko still looking green on the sofa? Being reserved and not that rowdy, her Ko-ko had actually never had anything like that happen to him – he’s only ever even bumped his head twice in his almost-6 years. (Come to think of it, no one can even remember when he threw up twice in a day, if ever. Seriously, what are the odds both of those are going to happen on the same day at the same time when neither has even happened before?)

That’s when they find a doctor right there in the congregation to look at her eye and pronounce it fine. Right. There. Took a few minutes tops. And after the sermon/ classes, he finds her for a second look, just to be sure.

It’s possible by then her mummy was able to make sounds that could be recognized as human again. (Fine, this is probably an exaggeration, since her mummy vaguely remembers some conversations with various caring, helpful, very kind people in the church, and since no one sedated her or hid the sharp objects, it’s possible she was speaking English. (It is after all an English-speaking church)).

And so both children arrive home alright (although they decide to give Delaney’s lunch and Wisekids session a miss.)

And so her Ko-ko would settle down for National Geographic Grasslands Youtubes and a long nap.

And the Little Miss would have a bubble bath (even managing a petition to hold the iPhone in the tub)

And they would both go down for a long, restorative sleep.

And so the King of the Castle would return to find he had missed most of the fun.

So he decided to play catch up.

Even as The Girls went out to play ball. (I know, The Girls went out to play ball and The Mens went shopping <rolls eyes>)

And they lived happily ever after. (Until the next mini-crisis).

Who says fairytale happy endings don’t happen in real life?

The End.

(And blasting away gender-bias all over the land.)