One Of Those Not So Weekends

1) It’s not Shakespeare, but not for the reasons you think….. 50 Shades Of OMG ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS?! written by The Mummy Blogger Who Was A Pretty Wild Teen Mum And Is Now Also A Missionary. She blogs about talking about sex with her eldest son, who is in his early 20s. AND it’s not cringe-worthy.

My personal lazy opinion (having not read the book) is when fashion mags like Harpers’ Bazaar (US) published socialites’ reviews of the book sometime back, the whole 50 Shades phenomenon in entertainment was still kinda……. cool? In a forbidden fruit way? And then it got way too hyped. In the Miley Cyrus Dance Moves way.

And in case you need an extra reason why I would mention this:

Taken off Jamie's blog. Like, how does this person not come off as "reverse-selfish". He OWNS her orgasms?!

Things that make ya go “HMMMMMMM.”

All of them belong to him?!

2) But wait – Jamie wrote a follow up post – A Missionary’s Position To 50 Shades Of Grey. Here’s an excerpt:

The problem with this book is not that it’s about rough sex or BDSM or bedroom fetishes, it’s that if we want to enter into that kind of space with another human being, we should probably try to get there through mutual trust and relational intimacy………. ………not under threat of rejection.
There is bullying and abuse in 50 Shades of Grey, but I don’t really think it happens in the bedroom. It happens when a rich, powerful, good-looking man exerts his money, power, and good looks to get his way without the permission of the woman he wants to bone…….
“…...Quite frankly, the only way 50 Shades of Grey could have gotten so big is that we consciously chose to ignore the icky underlying message of the story – that a woman should feel grateful to oblige a demanding, controlling, severely broken man if he’s hot and rich – because we were too busy enjoying the sexy parts…….
……”There is bullying…… but I don’t really think it happens in the bedroom.” No,  Jamie, no I don’t think it does either. And I agree the whole S&M thing is just distracting from something that could be a lot more thought-provoking. But well, even Shakespeare threw in “Sick Sex” (look at Hamlet). It sells. (See what happens when I try to write something “sexy”? BUZZZZZZZ.)

The good looking powerful man is cliched, and such is human nature, regardless of whether it’s a male or female, but there is something to a storyline about threat of rejection, just in different forms. While 50 Shades explores threat of rejection through a couples setting, someone in power bullying someone vulnerable isn’t so much just “icky” but….. no, actually there are no words. Threat of rejection, which I expand to encompass a deliberate with-holding of love is a possibly far more thought-provoking or powerful theme in………. you guessed it. Parenting. (Well what d’you expect, I’m a parenting blogger not a couples relationship blogger :D)

Here’s a (mostly) unrelated example I arrived at from various parenting books  and articles – it has to do with the massive difference between “effective” parenting of olde vs today: Perhaps one of the most “effective” archaic tools in (tiger) parenting, to get a child to “perform,” or “do what the parent wants,” is to “withhold love”. Or orchestrate the Fall From Favour. (The “You are no longer The Favourite. Your sibling is The Favourite because they have done what I want”.)

Arrived at via Christian Grey no less, but seriously – now you can see some similarities, right?

3) Not so much a link, more a shout out about the Training In Effective Parenting Communication Skills course I learned about via Rockstar’s school (a.k.a. No Yelling Coaching :D) For real though, Katherine Sellery and Claryss Nan Jamieson teach the “Guidance” approach – here’s a quick e.g.: When your child “acts up” so to speak, they are trying to meet a need. See yourself as a detective, looking for Clues and Cues, following a Breadcrumb Trail to the root of the issue. Be aware that when you interpret Clues and Cues, you are seeing it through your eyes, coloured by your experiences and impressions (and really, whether you’ve had your latte for the day :D)

I hope I put it correctly. It’s for relatively a lot of hours, but I’ve found the several seminars/ workshops so far to be pretty useful. You learn a lot. You learn to think differently. Plus, dynamics with the other mums magnifies the effect, because of the “case studies,” so you may want to ask like-minded mum friends along too…)

4) OK change subject – hardly very icky: The Secret Life Of Superhero Toys.

Dis is cutes.

Dis is cutes. Unless they really hurt the mouse.

5) Dis is also cute: 86 Year Old Woman Sends Letter To Bank. Don’t suppose anyone cares if she hurt the bank 😀 This is here though, because I thought it was a great mental exercise in creativity, seeing as she’s 86 and all (hope I’m not next in line to get one-a these letters for sounding condescending :P)

6) Best illustration of the misuse of quotation marks to your kids. Kind of. Caveat on the use of some “words” though 😉

Says it all.

Says it all.

Says more.

Says more.

7) For a change, JD and Rockstar have the skit this week, titled Spot The Dog And Rockstar after the old game we used to play whereby one of us puts JD on Sit or Down/Stay and we see how long it takes everyone else to spot her.

Where they?

Where they?

Dere They.

Dere They. (Kudos to the store for letting JD in, it’s a NICE store and there are a few other customers).

Have a good week ahead dears…

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2 Responses to One Of Those Not So Weekends

  1. mun says:

    Did you read the 3 books? I did not and will not ever read them.

    About when children act up, they are trying to meet a need. This is pretty deep, right? I mean when a child sees a toy in a toy store and wants it but the parents say no so the child throws a tantrum – what need is the child trying to fulfill? To the parents, they only see the want – want a toy. How to teach the parents to see the need?

    I see both JD and Rockstar through the window. So nice of the store to let JD in and JD is so obedient just sitting there.

    • Aileen says:

      No didn’t read the books, only reviews and excerpts… I swing between whether or not to try one, but honestly I haven’t read any fiction in a long time…

      Erm… the need is the ability to delay gratification? Off the top of my head…

      Yes the store people were very nice, considering it’s a nice store in a nice mall… JD wasn’t really sitting obediently haha she was giving us killer eye-rolls because she was bored…

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