18 Priceless Pics – What Rockstar Got For His Birthday

Someone’s birthday came early this year…

We’re probably gonna do this more often since his birthday (via hurriedly scheduled C-section because he didn’t “drop” and the risk of complications during the Christmas/ New Year’s period and our gynea’s preferred staff being on a ski slope oceans away were going up) is really close to Christmas…

(It was a wonderfully blessed Christmas – thank God we did the C-section because the cord was short and wrapped around the baby’s neck – something the ultrasound had been unable to pick up because of the baby’s position.)

South Africa 2010 Tee: Gift From Grandmum

Plaid Flannel Pyjamas: USD 28 from Bestdressedkids.com (Mummy bought a few)

Sunnies and Electric Guitar: HKD 345 (I think) from Bumps To Babes in Ap Lei Chau

The Joy Of Watching Another Rockstar Fantasy Play Out: PRICELESS

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The School Parking

There is none, at Rockstar’s school. There’s a busy thoroughfare of traffic whizzing by at what looks to me, Mummy that I am, like 90 km/ hour right in front of the school’s doorstep and, unfortunately, I watched Pet Sematary.

(Stephen King decides to kill a toddler early on in this movie with a giant truck on a highway right in front of new family’s home near an old Indian burial ground that turns out to be very good at resurrecting dead pets and toddlers possessed by demons. (Oh, how I hate this man – he should use his brilliance to cure cancer or something, instead of scaring the crap out of mummies everywhere.))

So anyway, traffic in Hong Kong scares me. We were in a mild-ish (ie no one got hurt) 5-car accident on the highway few years back – 1 car broke down in the fast lane just beyond a hill. 4 cars simply couldn’t stop in time.

Taxis scare me. Navigating the Causeway Bay crowd, occasionally a local friend or two will remark “Watch out for the taxis. Do you know how many pedestrians they bump each year?” We’ve been rammed into – hard – from the side by a taxi joining traffic who simply hadn’t seen us because he was looking the other way and the driver’s, “So it’s just I didn’t see you, do you know how much it’s going to cost me to fix my own car, I’ve been punished enough,” attitude is the Absolute Scariest.

(So what, it’s not a biggie he plowed into our car out of nowhere when he was joining traffic?? Thank God Rockstar wasn’t in the car.)

But Rockstar who can form some very strong dislikes, likes it at ESF. And from having no friends, he now has a best friend (a little Indian boy I snuck a peek at on our school run today) and at least 2 or 3 others he’ll occasionally also mention. One of them is even – wait for it – a girl (though all the other girls are still “silly”.)

We wanted Rockstar to have a school bus experience. But after the lady at the bus company estimated he would have to board the bus a whopping 90 minutes earlier from where we live, we pay a friend to pick the car up from Kings’ office after he drives himself to work, then come pick Rockstar and me (about 20 mins one-way). Because yours truly hasn’t driven in 17 years since she got her kopi-o license and Kings is not about to trust his only child to kopi-o license’s driving.

There’s no parking and no waiting in front of the school – at least not legally. So this is where the blog post really starts.

Rockstar’s school parking (or lack thereof) is a behavioral science student’s dream:

Keeping the pick-up/ drop-off area in front of the school congestion free is an exercise in the kind of teamwork and community-minded-ness that most of us parents/ caregivers have yet to master. Because it involves our children and our convenience.

It’s like going without the comfort of say, air-conditioning in summer (like during Hong Kong’s recent Air-Con-Free Day) to help put a stop to global warming, knowing that the clean air benefit will not be yours alone but will be shared by some other idiot who doesn’t give up his air-con. But with children involved.

It’s easier to be magnanimous when it doesn’t inconvenience you. When you don’t care. That’s uh, not called being magnanimous. It’s called Not Caring.

1. If you are a mum who reads the school newsletter avidly, you would have seen the umpteen pleas by the school to try and keep the pickup / drop-off area congestion-free, in varying degrees of politeness.

It would take the hide of a rhino to park there, go upstairs to drop your child off, and engage his teacher in a leisurely conversation about the quality of your child’s artwork.

(Yet if you could do so in relative anonymity, you might still try it on occasion*)

2. If you are a mum who doesn’t read the school newsletter or are not directly involved in the dropping off of your child, you’re kinda off the hook. (Hey, are you pretending you didn’t read it? Of course you actually read your child’s school’s emails avidly.)

3. If you are a mum who thinks school staff can recognize her and they know you read the newsletter – you’re pretty much screwed.

I’m not serious, but then there’s another thought for potential issue-raising mums – it’s too late for me, I have a blog with our pics plastered everywhere, even the dog may no longer poop where she pleases in the blissful anonymity that affords a relative lack of accountability – BUT IT’S NOT TOO LATE FOR YOU! SAVE YOURSELVES!

*Like Dubner and Levitt’s experiment involving a cash box – when there was a smiley face on the box, people were more likely to abuse the perceived additional anonymity with which they could decide how much to pay for the cookies they bought. But put a pair of watchful eyes, and more people paid the correct amount (or more).

So for the umpteenth time, I ask our Friend Who’s Driving Us By Way Of Cushy Odd Job Til His Business Takes Off to make a round rather than park, however briefly, outside. It’s a request I’ve made since the first day he’s been driving us.

(I’m not a saint, it’s just reflex.)

Occasionally he’ll oblige, but most days he still won’t do it because the other drivers are starting to piss him off. The horn leaning, the sitting there reading papers… Each time we pull up at the school entrance, he says, “Look at everyone else. I’m not doing it til I actually see other people bothering.”

And then, however briefly, I catch myself thinking – I’m pissing my own friend off for this. What have others done about the professional drivers they employ who are sitting there reading papers? Did they even read the school email? Do they even know their drivers do that?

So everyone’s going to have to get a ticket. And I hope my friend doesn’t manage to drive away quite fast enough when that happens. Then we don’t have to talk about this every time we do school run.

(Dude, you’re paying for that yourself. But I promise not to say “I told you so.” Even though I’ll be thinking it.)

Ps: The dog doesn’t really poop where she pleases. She’s not a saint, it’s just reflex.

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Our Other Rockstar At Hong Kong Canine Agility Championships

We were clearing out old magazines… Scanned these before they get unwittingly recycled or crumble into dust…

Rockstar isn’t the only Diva in the family… JD’s just more low-key about it (she just wants sticks and balls, she’s a simple girl)… But on the streets during her competition days, people usually recognise her, not us…

Uh, no that’s not JD

THATs JD…

(Bottom Pic) And I’m wearing any old thing that’s warm enough… That was the first International HK Agility Championship (note some people brought flags) and it went wayyy over time…

There was a rather barkey border collie from China… There was a flag…

There was a showing from Phillippines too I think…

The Japanese contestants…. weren’t Border Collies – they were Corgis and Cocker Spaniels who might have trained in Romania – super fast, perfect execution – and then you look at the dog doing all that and find it easier to imagine him/her wearing a tiara or ruffled dress than tearing up the competition field… But then you take their chain off (competition rules – the dog wears nothing, not even a collar, on the obstacle course) and you watch them fly on  their stubby little legs…

We bought so many copies of this one… HKCWAC = Hong Kong Working And Agility Competition…

It was JD’s first serious competition in Hong Kong (not international)…

(And yes, the pom on the cover’s name is Hold Your Horses Of Whiteville… Maybe they go on to explain why, among the profile, three-quarter and etc shots of him in the mag (that is one pom that can hold still) but we couldn’t read it, it’s a very local Canton mag…)

And that’s us in action…

And taking a break in the nearby pool between events…

Post Rockstar, we haven’t been competing. Very occasionally we make the long drive out to the training grounds (complete with swimming pools) in Sheung Shui. JD’s almost 8 now… She was one of the main reasons after the baby we moved to Cyberport with its large (by HK standards) Waterfront Park…

I constantly worry her “standard of living” will drop drastically because of the baby.

As a semi-retired diva in her own right, JD averages 2 or 3 X 60-90 minute walks at Waterfront Park on work days, spends the weekend at the Peak or swimming in Sai Kung, and the rest time brokering agreements with Rockstar (he doesn’t like eating meat, they have an arrangement) or curled up in the coldest corner of our bedroom.

Oh and there are the hissy fights with the Rockstar – you steal my ball, I steal your ball.

That’s showbiz for you

We love you, JD.

Thank you for hours and hours and hours of unconditional love and friendship.

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Web Summit 2.0 in San Francisco (Part 1)

**Written by Guest Contributor better known as ‘Daddy’

Web 2.0 Summit Day 1

Dear Rockstar,

Your dad took a week off with his 2 business partners to SF for the Web 2.0 Summit Web 2.0 is a really cool term now for those people in the internet industry.

When you grow up, Web 2.0 will not mean anything anymore but what he learnt in terms of the people and atmosphere in Silicon Valley will hopefully be valuable to you. Stay tuned for a 3 part story on this journey.

Arrived on the 14th Nov 2010 in San Francisco. He has been very excited about this trip, both in joining the summit and also explore the idea of buying an apartment in SF. Had a very unpleasant experience with the Immigration Officer asking him questions like (in a rude manner):

“What are you doing here?”

“How many days do you want to stay here?”

“How much money did you bring?”

“Who are you here with?”

“Why is your wife not joining you for this trip?”

[Mummy has to chip in here: What the freak is this? Why the hell does he care? It’s one less potential illegal immigrant isn’t it?]

“Which day are you leaving? What flight number?”

“Where is your air ticket?”

Unfortunately Daddy did not print out my air ticket. So he took out his blackberry to try and search for his e-ticket.

“Put down your phone NOW. Where is your air ticket?”

OMG, this is freaking Silicon Valley. What is the problem in showing you my air ticket on my berry? Isnt this tech city?

“Next time if you do not print out your air ticket from where you come from, don’t even bother to board the plane.”

F hell. And that immigration officer is Asian Chinese.

Anyway, here is the view of SF from Ming’s apartment. What a beautiful city. Too bad, at this point your dad decided he doesn’t want to buy a SF apartment anymore 🙂

The Web 2.0 summit in Palace Hotel !! That was such a cool event. I have not seen so many billionaires in the same room. We had people like Eric Schmidt (Google CEO), Robin Li (Founder of Baidu), Mark Zukerberg (Founder of Facebook) and etc.

Your dad with Tim

(Probably taken by Ming, until we found someone to take a shot of everyone)

Here is a video of interview with Eric Schmidt. This guy is pretty witty actually.. See how he answers those political questions:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krSXqtKSoh4]

Next we have Ben Huh from Cheezburger Network (LOL Cat).

What the hell? What’s wrong with this guy and cats?

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JRRvf3CaUI]

We also had Robin Li (Founder of Baidu). Oh man, this guy is cool – check out his response when the MC asks him to talk to Mark Zukerberg the next day. I can see his face like saying “What the hell do I care about Zukerberg? I am Robin, the King of China internet… one of the richest in China”….

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur-dytCq7Hc]

And finally we joined David Ng from Chinacache.

This is Robert Lindsey (EVP of Eidos, the maker of some of the famous games like Tomb Raider). Rockstar, you will get to see this uncle again when we travel to SF next month.

[Mummy thinks you will care only whether this uncle is a nice man who shares his raisins. This is why 3 year olds should run the world.]

Stay tuned for Day 2.

PS: Dear readers, if you are up for more, check out Tim’s posts too:

What Silicon Valley feels like

Visiting Zynga’s Office. The Home of Farmville. Mafia Wars and the likes

The Internet Superstars at Web 2.0 Summit in San Francisco

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Oh, Cafe O

Oh, Cafe O…

Oh, Scary Carpark in Sheung Wan To Get To You…

Oh, New Meaning To The Term Multi-Storey Carpark…

Oh, may we someday bag your coveted window seat and count ourselves part of your window dressing…

Oh, Stairs…

Oh, See-thru Red Plastic Kitchen Roof

a.k.a. Dispeller Of Dodgy Food Preparation Fears…

Oh, view to our left, of smoking balcony and street down below…

(We don’t object to cigarette smoke as long as it doesn’t hijack our own right to clean air and lower lung cancer risk… like HK air isn’t polluted enough… or is that a case for smoking, you’re breathing in all kinds of other crap anyway)

Oh, view to our right…

Oh, Yums…

Oh, of course we mean our chicken curry..

Oh, Gelaskin -ed laptop that leads us to be approached by earringed dude…

“How did you get that on your laptop?”

“Oh, interesting rings”

Oh, disbelieving husband who joins us right after and scoffs, “That’s just a pickup line”

Oh, we take offense at lack of faith in our laptop-decorating finesse…

Oh, O card, for 10% off…

“Deliciously, wholesome, naturally,” supposedly

Ps: We quite liked their food… Chicken curry, smoked salmon sandwich, lattes, samosas, oatbran cookies (one of the few cookies Rockstar will eat)… plus after they realized they’d got both our orders wrong, they tried to replace everything free of charge…

We almost had a fight about accepting just one replacement, because I was already halfway thru mine and couldn’t have finished the extra food…

Oh, I hate to waste food

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Hookie At Ocean Park

*Updated on 25th Nov with more pics below*

We bad…

We played hookie at Ocean Park today…

Around 9.30am, Ocean Park staff begin to roam with giant cameras… They’ll take as many pictures as you want with your iPhone and other cameras, helpfully directing you to stand in the right spot and diligently getting your small child’s attention for the camera… Then after you have all the shots you want, they politely ask to take one with their own camera – there’s no pushing, no hard sell, you just feel so bad not obliging because they’ve let you take all the shots you want already…

10 minutes later, a girl walks up to you with prints of your pictures in an Ocean Park souvenir folder and plastic photoframe keychains…

At our “No thank you,” the girl smiled, “Sure, no problem,” and immediately disappeared. No more pushing for sales. They’re kind of brilliant.

It’s 8.55am and counting… Rockstar snacks on Chee Cheong Fun in a tupperware as around us early-bird tourists and the odd school class on an outing begin to group… The class in this picture and their teachers were speaking completely in Cantonese and entered early thru a side gate… Lucky them, no entrance crowd to contend with (I think for practical security reasons too; periodically you get rumours of attempted kiddie kidnappings including an email of a Chinese woman who picked up a toddler coo-ing at how cute he/ she was, then trying to disappear in the crowd with him/her – the mail was forwarded around several banks and led the cops to investigate its authenticity…)

The park opens at 10am, ticket sales at 9.30am… Every other time we showed up past 10, and Humongous Scary Queue would sent us on to HK Wetlands Park or some less commercialized crowded Rockstar Entertainment Center… This time we’re determined to wait it out…

9.35am after we buy tickets… The queue begins to form…

9.40am… This is the queue behind us…

10am… And we’re off to the races!

We attempt a little flanking…

Boldly treading where no other rockstar has tread… this morning…

Just so we know we’re still in Hong Kong…

Sometimes I think no one picks the typos up cos no one’s reading the English one…

Possibly the English leaflets were the least popular…

Simplified Chinese = Used In Singapore and China, Traditional Chinese = for Hongkies (Question: Which one is for the average Taiwanese tourist? Answer: Not the English one)

Rockstar does competitor intelligence, learns from the master…

(How can something this cute and willing to oblige gawking tourists be fierce and grouchy in the fur? Is it all part of showbiz?)

And my favorite sight – the Panda Cafe

(After a weekend of only congee, potatos, boiled eggs and carrots – I’ll eat anything – I’d eat the pandas if they let me)

We loves the umbrellas… And the eats… Was totally expecting deep fried junk fast food, but they had really fresh Har Kau (shrimp dim sum) – ate 8 – and they even served up panda! Buns, that is – panda sweet bread. And the tv screens play the best clips of the pandas with wash clothes, rubber tubes, pulling each other off swings…

Rockstar meets a groupie…

Rides an Orca…

View from the panda area… Always seems to be something or other under construction in HK… Ocean Park is no diff…

Rockstar chills at the games stall while I try to sneak off for a bathroom break, balk at the portable toilets and come back in time to take this pic…

The guy staring down the barrell at Rockstar is really good with little kids – Rockstar even let him carry him off to mess about with thegames board (quite an achievement, Rockstar is the Rockstar because he doesn’t warm easily)

Rockstar chooses cable cars over underground train…

And we’re off!

The peace and quiet is almost eery… And there you thought there’s no place in HK without hustle, bustle, complaining uncles or construction dust…

I had a local friend whose fiance proposed to her up here…

(And yes according to this poster at the entrance they also do weddings)

Then onward to the Atoll Reef

Because we reach the famed dolphin show just as these nice folks are waving tails…

One look at the crowd in the stands about to disperse inspires us to walk quickly away…

Entering the Reef we pass a panda hat wearing this mum with her boy (who looks to be about 10) in tow… The hats are for sale at the countless souvenir shops scattered around…

Whatever turns you on, baby… We will not judge, we will not judge…

We will however finally succumb to Devious Marketing Ploy…

Were Panda Hat Wearing Woman and her son on the park’s payroll? They roam around the crowded tank area speaking Putonghua, taking pictures, just like any of the other gadzillion Chinese tourists are doing… Devious…

Big, sparkling tank filled with magic…

And four-foot long sharks…

Then we take the train back…

No family excursion should be considered complete without Kings caught cheating on his family with the Berry…

And this is the “after” shot…

Rockstar was actually crashing fast… 20-24 degree weather right now lets me put him in 2 shirts… so I can peel off the outer one quickly if he crashes and I can’t change him completely before his nap…

PS: We weren’t really playing hookie. Rockstar doesn’t attend school on Putonghua days.

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Rockstar’s Daddy’s Rockstar

Warning… Crime of creativity just ahead…

The hubby has twisted my arm to post this picture of one of his childhood idols (at least that’s not Shu Qi*) with absolutely no regard as to whether I can come up with anything interesting to say about it. Oh, the For Better Or For Worse sacrifices…

*Ages ago, I forbade Kings to tell people he likes Shu Qi (or at least used to – I have milked this opportunity to tease him so many times it’s kind of becoming not worth liking her anymore). Hey now, there’s a brainwave…

My reason was because she acts these “bimbo-tic” roles and I just figured: The person who wanted to spend the rest of his life with me also likes a movie star who’s all airheaded in her films. How does that make me look?

So here we go then…. Drrrrrrum rollll… Meet Tim, most humble and low key self-made entrepreneur millionaire in his late(ish – can you imagine – THERE’S STILL AN -ISH) 20s and overall nice guy. And some hairy-chested guy who horned in on their picture.

Too bad we didn’t get one of the bossMing too 😉

Kings and I remember watching David Copperfield make the Statue of Liberty disappear, levitate over the Grand Canyon, walk through the Great Wall of China decades ago. As children, he helped make learning about those landmarks interesting and more real than any National Geographic could (we were children.)

Amazingly, he looks almost just like he did decades ago. More amazingly, Kings shelled out like, USD 169 extra for VIP seats. I’d love to meet Nicholas Cage one day, except I don’t really have anything to say to him.

But a cellphone picture would be just freaking fabulous.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJjxq9NYYLs]

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What Parent Volunteer Program?

From the weekly newsletter Rockstar’s Kindergarten sends to all the parents, “Thank you for replying to our letter about the Parent Volunteer Programme.”

What the freak is this?

Quickly I scan the mail. Yup. Definitely. I have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about. Was I distracted by a bumblebee? A whole swarm of bumblebees? Were they chewing my arm off?

Ok, Aileen. Don’t panic. Maybe this isn’t your son’s school. Maybe by some strange cosmic event of the mis-typed email sort (ignoring the colossal odds against a typo on an email  morphing into a whole other address of a parent at a different school), this isn’t an email from my son’s school. It’s an email from one of the other gadzillion kindergartens in Hong Kong. Yes, that’s it.

Nope. It says so right there. Rockstar’s School.

My fingers tap guiltily. I text 2 other mums, one busily building her own cooking website and another swamped with some glamorous (to me) thing to do with Hong Kong politics that endlessly fascinates me – when I can understand it. I mention this  because I appreciate the 2 long, patiently typed out replies I get on a weekend.

Oh. The ESF Parent Volunteer Program. <trying to salvage dignity> But of course. I have a vague recollection of a form among a bunch I was hurriedly filling up – because Rockstar was almost 2 weeks late starting school.

(We were having a First Snow Experience <sheepish>. As someone who went to school late/ travelled late/ was exposed to computers and all manner of general knowledge stuff late, Kings takes Rockstar’s “exposure to new experiences” very seriously.

And they’ll be taking apart old appliances with screwdrivers on Kings’ Gardening Leave. I have to hide all my functioning appliances. Those two and a screwdriver. Deadly. No appliances will be safe.)

The Destroyers Of Working Appliances getting their eggs

So anyway coming back from Melbourne, I filled in a no on that form because I wasn’t sure if I was biting off more than I could chew – this was to help out during the actual school session, not extra events. At extra events, parents handle their own kids. At this one, you’re handling the kids in school.

Handling any other person’s child just scares the total crap out of me. What if their mum doesn’t want me to say this? What if their mum didn’t want them to eat that? What if they tell their mum I fed them sugar? Sold them smokes? Taught them My Humps?

A rumbling fills my ears. Along with the battle cry of 80 pre-schoolers high on the sugar from the Fisherman’s Friend (I don’t Sugar-free because of the Aspartame) they palm out of my Donna Karan Messenger Bag (half-price from Net-a-porter.com).

The pre-schoolers trample me cartoon-style on their way out the exit to a very busy thoroughfare where they flag cabs into Pau Ma Tei and spend the rest of the school day in the arcades. Or at the Jockey Club. Oh hellll. And they would be in school uniform. The resulting scandal could close the school down. After all, last time there was a Dengue false alarm that same road had like, 100 reporters camped out (Seriously. Thank God Rockstar didn’t go to school that day. Apparently it didn’t occur to them how little kids might feel walking thru that furor). MY ROCKSTAR WOULD HAVE NO SCHOOL TO GO TO. How?

Then I forgot about the form. Now they probably have a roster up. And some kind of training schedule.

Ah well. I’ll just volunteer to fill in for any parents who pull out or call in sick.

Wise Man once said, “Better to not say anything and appear stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” Then I think some other guy went and said “And remember to be super-aggressive about all the other things you think you do know about so no one notices this one.” Oh no. What have I done. Now what if all my readers and 2 mums from school think I am an unfit mother.

Ah well, Rockstar already hates if I sound like I’m flaffing about. And he’s only almost 3. It’s just too much work pretending to be a different person to my child. If he catches me at it it’s gonna be that much harder to tell him not to smoke/ get a nose ring/ a tattoo/ date the woman in the circus who used to be a man and funded her operation by allowing herself to be shot out of a cannon.

Every person who was worth their salt, whom I respected at work would just  ‘fess up. over stuff like that. Non-biggie. I guess cos it’s more productive? The people who make them biggies are well, the small ones. Small people find small things biggies.

It used to piss the hell out of me when people refused to admit they didn’t know something (can learn what) or would pretend they hadn’t made a simple mistake because God forbid anyone knows they’re human. But well here’s the thing.

If “everything” is “never” your fault, who’s going to believe you when it really isn’t your fault?

PS: And Rockstar, I was kidding about the woman in the circus who used to be a man. You can date her just as long as she’s a nice person who doesn’t ask you to do crap.

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Oh No I Forgot There Was A Baby Shower

“A friendly reminder of …… Baby Shower….. Tomorrow 3pm Cafe Gray

Crap. Tomorrow?? I thought it was Monday. No scratch that. This is Kings’ fault. Of course it is. “Oh 20th is a Mon. I’ll be back to watch Rockstar before your party” <whack forehead with heel of hand> Come on Aileen, you know the man you married is incapable of lucid conversation when he has a blackberry in his hand.

I’ve never had a baby shower. I was too busy trying to prove I was a kick-butting professional who hadn’t noticed she’d been knocked up. “Yeah I gained some weight, recently… like, 45 lbs.”

Except this one time on a conference call vetting some hairy termsheet “Aiyo you people… My baby is turning into a quant!” A momentary pause followed by uproarious laughter on the other end. Oh, did I say that out loud? (Maybe it’s a Goldie thing – the superquants find that hilarious.) 2 days before I checked into the hospital, I was in the dealing room ,“Ok, so I’m off to have a baby now… My email works from home right?”

Friend Whose Party This Is For, also a banker, married someone who  used to be a partner in a hedge fund firm. Before they set up their own hedge fund, they were all Goldies (ie from Goldman Sachs).

Wait a minute – I recognize a name on the mailing list – from the Who’s Who columns of senior bankers moving from this bank to that bank. I scan the address list – there are quite a few bank email addresses. In fact, now I remember – this bunch swings really swanky parties*. And I haven’t done my shopping or thought about what to wear. Freaking fantastic. It’s much harder to dress for women than it is to dress for men.

*They organized a hen party at Azure. I planned what I was going to wear (navy with taupe patterned three-quarter sleeve chiffon dress with high neck and ruffles and a skirt that hits just above the knee, trusty gold Prada snakeskin heels, deep red glossy lipstick in as made-up a face as I will ever do, Burberry black Cinda bag – I left my day bag behind in the office when I went for the party because it didn’t match the outfit) and spent countless lunch hours shopping for the perfect gift (Agent Provocateur, but I asked for the Lane Crawford matte gold gift wrapping instead – it went better with the little black whip in soft luxurious leather  with large white feathers that I attached to the front of the box, after convincing the hot salesgirl in pink-and-black uniform with the fishnets to sell me the whip right out of their window display.

After dinner, countless be-stockinged hazings of the bride-to-be and an upright penis cake one of the mums had asked the lady who bakes her son’s school snack cupcakes to make up (and which many other restaurant patrons came to our table to take cellphone pictures of), the others went to M1nt while I went home to Rockstar. Maybe I should have stayed, I remember Kings’ colleagues offering him some kind of membership there for HKD 15,000 – which was taken up by a fresh joiner to the bank in her mid-20s – and apparently you see lots of models and stars but I missed the one I had at home and was used to rushing home straight after work.)

Anyway with Kings in Vegas, Rockstar and I were going to brunch at Landmark Café before spending the entire weekend browsing the Central shops and scoffing at “silly girl dresses” (well I have to give him some incentive – he hates shopping.)

I passed all these places several times a day… On occasion there were demonstrators on those steps…

Now I have to do a default “corporate” gift ie buy some generic luxurious branded thing with nice wrapping like she’s a corporate counterpart instead of one of my best friends. At least for this party. Still hoping to personalize the gift a bit more, I pop into Mothercare to look for the knee-length tights I suggested in basic black/ white/ navy/ heather, a staple for anyone who wants their young toddler to not flash as they learn to walk and crawl and pull their dresses up. (But no luck – everything is spangled or pink, which I find harder to match.)

(I thought to look for tights after hearing her husband has decided there will be no bikini contests when their baby girl grows up (hahaha good luck with that one), and there has been some discussion about short toddler skirts.)

So Jacadi. No-brainer “corporate” gift. But I spend more than an hour deliberating outfits (they’re expensive, at least they should be pieces that can be mixed into several different outfits – which is why I decide against a dress, in favor of separates.) And of course, they’re completely out of their beautiful catalogues. Darn. I learned to dress Rockstar from those catalogues. I gravitate over to the boys section. May as well. I’m already in the store, right? Why not. Exactly.

Just the grey cardigan is HKD 1,300. “On sale” it’s HKD 1,040. I know the argument, you lovingly keep these clothes for the next generation. Rockstar’s own little boy one day. But I have no work stress to fuel my shopping so I settle for a beautiful wool cap with a crest on the top – to keep Rockstar warm despite him hating most headgear – this looks like his Halloween policeman’s cap from Toys R Us (when he has it on, Police Officer Sergeant Rockstar is on his best behavior. I was hoping he would wear a cap like that outside to similar result.)

Landmark taxi queue… For the longest time there were demonstrators outside the Citibank on the left too… And a taped recording of “Citibank Pui Cheen Pui Cheen” (Citibank compensate us)… You usually pass them on your way to Bumps To Babes…

Wildfox Couture sweater the salesgirls were asking me where to buy online…

When I get home, Rockstar sniffs at the Jacadi hat before disappearing out the door. He returns with his Halloween costume cap and a serious explanation why this is better. So now I have to return Beautiful Wool Cap With Crest On Top.

(written last night)
—————————————————————————————————————-

This morning I come down with horrible stomach flu. Stupid fried fish the helper made for dinner the previous night is still in my stomach in the morning. But not for long. It’s all downhill from there and I can barely stand by the time I find a doctor. No posh baby shower for me.

Instead of HKD 600-800 tea, I see International Doctors Limited (the only one open on a Saturday who isn’t fully booked – they have one slot left) for a HKD 900 consultation. Our own family doctors do not do weekends (though the pediatricians have pagers).

Staggering home from the doc’s, I’m greeted by the sight of Rockstar fast asleep half buried in pillows, his mouth open. I clean up and climb in.

When I wake, it’s 3pm – I would have been at the party. Rockstar rolls over and looks at me with unsettlingly alert beady hamster eyes, when he was in deep sleep only a moment ago. I put my hand on the pillow, palm up, between us. A little hand joins mine. Then another little hand meticulously adjusts my fingers, just so, around the first hand, before dropping back to the pillow. Consciousness rapidly leaves his face. He sleeps with his eyes partly open, like I do – it freaks the hell out of his father. I watch his eyes flicker back and forth, the pupils rolling and dancing under half-closed lids. Little fingers twitch.

Best party in the world.

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Rockstar Does Fishies By Playmesh

This is a fish. I don’t know yet if these ever die, but I know for a fact from Kings’ various ill-fated fish tank efforts over the years the ones from Kam Yee Kai (Goldfish Street) in Mong Kok are very good at it. Or rather, we are very good at killing them. So I don’t like going there because when my husband looks at me with all that enthusiasm, “Which one, which one shall we get?” what I’m really hearing is “Choose now, which one shall die.”

(See now, a dog – that’s different. They trot over to tell you when they’re upset/ hungry/ need a walk/ mad at Rockstar, but fish seem to fall short in the communication department.)

Then there are these iPhone fish. Rockstar insisted I download the app after his random swishing brought him to App Store and its irrestible goldfish icon. So not giving him my iTunes Store pin. Especially not after he started chanting my ATM pin in Starbucks (don’t laugh at me, that was how we were practicing our numbers <guilt>)

When iPhone Fish need to be fed, they swim around with speech bubbles asking for fishfood. A+ for communication! You clean their tank by shaking your phone. AAA+++! You train them to collect stars and avoid jellyfish. You get more virtual money to spend on your tank by doing various chores, some of which are signing up your email address to receive ads. Hey.

Diabolical. What would happen if this brainwave fell into the wrong hands? The world would no longer be a safe place. You could brainwash toddlers so they vote for you in another 15 years right in their living rooms under the noses of their iPhone-toting mums. Someone could misuse this for world domination. Or do stupid stuff. A nation of toddlers, all singing “My Humps”.

Anyway, I have ceremoniously upgraded the tank and Rockstar now has 13 fish. He’s bred 2 sets of adult fish and is planning further tank activities to afford the fish breeds he really wants. If we train them, we could turn a profit and not spend a cent (of real money) on the cooler more expensive fish.

The iPhone Playmesh gods have proved great market makers for trained fish buy/sells.

2 X Level 3 Clownfish = almost a BlackTetra

But am I home free? Rockstar wants to spend the real money we save on a blue toy car. Because he is “in blue group”. There has to be blue in everything. Didn’t Picasso have one? Blue phase? And then Hugh Hefner had the blonde phase?

Too bad about the annoying background music I should’ve turned off before the  bloody tune stuck in my head though.

Too bad I have to train 13 fish every 24 hours as Rockstar perches on the back of our sofa watching intently because you’re not supposed to go too near jellyfish in case they sting you.

But these fish don’t die and make you feel bad. Good for them.

So here are some of their names:

1. Sushi (because at least once in their life everyone should have a fish they can give this terrible name and all it implies to. And someday maybe I will discover why a clownfish deserved this fate.)

2. Yellow Vented Bul-Bul (his favorite breed out of the scrapbook of Malaysian newspapers sent to him by Grandmum – grudgingly settled for “Bul-Bul” because of name length limit.)

3. Car Key Bobby (I have no freaking idea what this is but well it’s not my purple guppy.)

4. Tikka (so he doesn’t have to eat it – he doesn’t like chicken)

5. Kick (as a compromise because “chick-chick” was “not suitable” for the blue tang he traded Carol The Level 3 Trained Guppy for after he discovered it was a “boy fish”)

6. English (protesting the “hard” Putonghua class he had that day)

7. Vickie (in honor of the 12-year old who used to live next door and babysat him as a baby)

8. 88 (after some Chinese song he learnt that day)

9. Fish (his imagination never ceases to amaze me)

Decades ago his father did this in the pond behind his home in Kampung Baru Rasah, Seremban. My mum did hamsters with me when I was 9 or 10…

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