Raising Rockstar

1) Just when you thought the dogs-diving-for-stuff photo trend was milked to death, they just had to do it with puppies.

Swoon.

Double Swoon.

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2) Google Hires 12 year old As Programmer. How awesome must this kid be, remember Google’s crazy banned interview questions from sometime back?

Adam Nikos

Another article says he presented on cyber attacks among others, and has never actually been taught the computer science subject – he was just reading avidly.

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3) Is It A Crime To Raise A Killer? When one child commits a heinous crime towards another child, can you send the criminal’s parents to prison?

Parent of murdered 12-year old Autumn Pasquale (15 year old Justin Robinson, who also has some special needs, appeared to have strangled her for her bicycle) pushes for controversial “Autumn’s Law” in New Jersey. Autumn’s father puts it, “Parenting comes with responsibilities, and one of those is to raise your kids right, to pay attention and know when they’re a danger to someone else. That’s a parent’s job.” An excerpt from his petition reads, “If the minor who murdered my daughter was properly treated, parented, disciplined and supervised my daughter would probably be alive today.”

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4) How Consensual Sex Got A Freshman Kicked Out. This is here because….. I started reading – skimming – thinking it was some latest talking point about awareness and what young people are campaigning about, that kind of stuff. But as I read the accounts of what happened that night, it starts to get quite disturbing in how easily something like this can happen. (It’s like when everyone freaks out about mad cow but don’t see the raw food bacteria in their own kitchens that can also produce devastating effects and which is more likely as well…..?)

So this doesn’t take place in a shady bar, date rape drugs are not involved, there is no violence and it appears to be exactly what both parties want at the time. If you scroll down and keep reading, it appears they do put effort in avoiding some safeties put in place in the dorm and during orientation, that are meant to keep them from committing exactly this kind of mistake. For the girl in this link, it is also her first time.

Now, I was an advocate for abstinence long before I even became Christian. I was fairly popular, won some little freshman pageant title (which I maintain has more to do with witty comeback in the Q&A than looks :D) had maybe 9 boyfriends before my husband, and no one made me do anything I wasn’t ready for, bless them. It wasn’t that I didn’t have raging hormones or wasn’t dying of curiosity or felt no peer pressure. There were times when it was very, very hard to say no. If you wonder how I managed to do it, it was because it boiled down to uh, cost-benefit analysis 😀

My original post (before more people who knew me knew I blogged) brought me in touch with some younger people who reached out across cyberspace when I wrote it (but I’m still a little shy to repost <sheepish>) My argument for saving something important for marriage in summary is this:

If you want to be married someday, which essentially means having the same sexual partner for the rest of your life, then forever and ever is a long time to stay turned on by one person. I wanted to make sure who I was with for the rest of my life was the Best I Ever Had. I didn’t want to risk Best I Ever Had being Mr Jerk-But-Good-In-Bed and then my always knowing at the back of my mind that Mr Worth Having His Babies was slightly shy of that.

But back to cost-benefit: Whenever it was hard to say no (and it was really, really hard – I did wonder if it would get me dumped – let’s just say then there are other things you can  and should do as a girlfriend to make yourself more “worth waiting for” – aren’t we meant to give our other halves our best to the glory of God anyway?) I would ask myself if I could accept the possible cost.

(It’s a rule I applied to investment products too <sheepish> I would tell my Sales to start with the worst thing that can happen to their client when they invest in a certain derivative product and if their client cannot accept that then we need to look for something else. Ironically I often handled the products with the highest risk classification, go figure…)

At the end of the day what I had wanted was to be like Phoebe’s Lobsters on Friends. (According to her, they hold claws around the tank in their old age). The risk of not being able to enjoy sex as much as I wanted and thought I should after I was married, was a cost I considered too high. It trumped peer pressure (yes for the record I was pretty much Last Virgin Standing among my old friends and I know how that can look kinda sad but anyway… <shrugs>)

(So anyway then I became Christian, and eventually came across what the Bible says about abstinence before marriage, and I remember going Oh Ri-ight… Well Then That’s Just Excellent It All Makes Perfect Sense :D)

But back to the original link. The other big problem was – yes alcohol. From the person who kept Wild Turkey in her dorm room fridge and a collection of flavored Absoluts post graduation but has never been drunk – FOR GOODNESS’ SAKES DON’T GET DRUNK. I don’t think serious drunk even feels good. You throw up. You feel awful. You look awful. In the digital age there are going to be possibly pictures of you looking, feeling and acting awful that could be on someone’s Facebook forever and ever to be found by future HR and bosses and boyfriends/girlfriends so WHY would you ever do it?

Ok, actually Serious Drunk was always a pet peeve/worry; when I started working, a then-boyfriend and I headed over to Boat Quay and Clarke Quay where we “practiced” drinking various strong alcoholic cocktails. Well there was also the Vodka et al at home. I wanted to know my drinking limit and how I would handle the various popular concoctions back in our day before company functions et al. It was expensive for us to order cocktails (even just) the couple times we did, I started off at entry level pretty broke, but again the alternative was whether I would otherwise make a fool of myself at a coveted workplace someday… (That actually worked out, because I really did find myself in that kind of situation a few times later on…)

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5) Let’s break up the words with more eye candy. (But apparently I’m still on my preachy kick – imagine nasal, whiney self righteous voice as I mention 11 “Best” Outlaw Instagrammers In New York City.)

Rotan him.

Yes the pictures are breathtaking. Yes they are creative. I don’t even care that much about the (harmlessly) being in restricted places just for a photo op. If however they are done with real risk then this is basically someone’s 17 year old climbing stuff he could plummet to his death off of, helped along by the internet’s ability to find countless strangers to encourage them to do these things. 53,000 people goading your teenager to find some other way to risk life and limb. Like parenting teenagers isn’t hard enough already. I’m just saying…

(WHY did I not think that the first time I mentioned some of these kids and their daredevil pictures).

At this stage we don’t have to worry about our older one (touch wood), but the younger one is going to have to be locked up when she comes of age – especially if you tell her this is illegal, carries great risk of bodily harm and – most attractive to her – that you don’t want her to do it. 

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6) Speaking of which, Rockstar Skit this week is Guess Who’s Reading.

Because only one of ’em is.

Can you guess which one?

(Can you see the older one’s barely-masked irritation?)

Sigh. Sometimes I do feel for the older one. Even then it’s hard not to laugh (which irritates him even more) because the younger one can swing a seriously deadly brazen-sweet smile as she tries to get away with her latest infraction.

Good weekend, dears…

1) Showing rockstars a rockstar… Shaheen Jafargholi on 2009’s Britain’s Got Talent gets unceremoniously cut off by the famous Simon Cowell after just 15 seconds. The feared judge says, “You’ve got this really wrong” (what else ya got?) Shaheen’s second attempt makes you forget his first.

pic from dailymail.co.uk

(I had a lot of problems embedding this thing, so here’s a pic for the story and google or follow the link (narration in video comments)…

It isn’t a new story, but the story got reposted about cyberspace recently and I liked the powerful lesson: People might feel sorry for you when you’re 12 and get beaten up by the Big Bad Judge. But people will really applaud you if you pick yourself up and do a superb job anyway. 

A measure of a person is how they bounce back from a mistake. Thought of the week…

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2) Why Nerds Are Unpopular. This essay even more dated, also reposted, in particular I liked this point:

“Nerds don’t realize … that it takes work to be popular. In general, people outside some very demanding field don’t realize the extent to which success depends on constant (though often unconscious) effort. For example, most people seem to consider the ability to draw as some kind of innate quality, like being tall. In fact, most people who “can draw” like drawing, and have spent many hours doing it; that’s why they’re good at it.”

pic from thefamouspeople.com

Unless you’re Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, it implies:

a) There is no substitute for hard work (groan), even if you are talented. 

b) Because you liked what you were doing (which you probably did because you were fairly good at it to begin with), you simply didn’t realize it was “work”. 

For me it’s a reminder to focus on looking for aptitude and interest, rather than blindly forcing a bunch of activities or lessons for the kids. I was once pushed into an area of study I hated, simply because I had the grades to get into the course, and it was wildly popular in Singapore at the time. It gave my self esteem a real kick in the gut during those few years, and was also extremely frustrating – I know the feeling. It’s why I ask extra-curricullars teachers if the kids have sufficient aptitude/interest or whether we’re just trying to push square pegs in round holes; while some required subjects may be unpopular and difficult and still need some work to get to that basic grounding, surely it doesn’t have to be their everything. (sorry was that a d-uh statement)…

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3) Why I Finally Let My Girls Be Girly.

A story which takes some loops and turns around gender bias vs just who the kids are and that sometimes the two really do mesh, while at others they well, don’t. Written by a stay-at-home grad school dad whose “brainy physicist wife” went back to work after 4 months. There is like, no way I can type, “And he sounds like a normal person,” without it absolutely dripping with stereotyping and gender bias except well, like so. Yes, read irony in that 🙂 (The Miss likes wheels – cars, buses…. and ponies/ animals; “preetee” clothes, some of which are dresses, though flowy over frilly…….. and also light sabers and ninja weapons.)

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4) Somewhat interestingly related: The Afghan Girls Who Dress As Boys.

They’re all girls… But for a few more years Mahnoush will be Mehran…

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5) From busting gender bias to busting species bias….. This dog swims out each day for a playdate with his friend….. who is a dolphin. (What is with my embed feature this weekend?!)

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6) Rockstar skit is What Done With Finals? What Teenager? What Checkin’ Out? (What this, what that, in the words of the Miss)

This Sunday evening Rockstar had his first “major” music examination, that was the culmination of 2 years in a creative music course. Rockstar is neither particularly musical nor tone deaf and yes, there are Other Reasons Unmentionable, re this music exam which is executed largely by the class teacher though she is not the scorer. So, a pass will be good. Y’know because 2 years is about a third of my child’s lifetime (and what now feels like a third of mine too) to walk away from at least just the completion certificate.

Well it’s over, prompting me to stop the cab halfway home just so these two could go round and round on this thing in this little neighborhood mall while my head stopped spinning.

Add to it, Kings had a major (and majorly successful, praise the Lord) Asia Bankers Club event all weekend – which means, like two contestants in one of those reality shows where you navigate some crazy obscure city (Amazing Race Tsim Tsa Tsui, this?), the Kings and I were basically spending our Sunday afternoon struggling to get a cab during That Time Which No HK Cabbie Shalt Ventureth To Kowloon And So Thou Musteth Locateth A Kowloon Cab Queue And Oh There Is Hardly Any Way To Tell Kowloon From HK Cab Unless They Tell You.

So Contestant 1, with Exam Imminent Child and Other Child Still Blinking Sleep From Her Eyes (Thank God, Thank God she had her nap!!!), would swing a cab change at the freaking Macau Ferry Terminal to procure Said Coveted Kowloon Cab willing to cross over to the Other Side At This Time Of Day. Then she would scramble up 3 flights of stairs with a 10kg toddler attached to her because should said toddler have time to decide Walk! Stairs! elder offspring shall surely misseth his examination  the world ends.

Contestant 2, in full Big Presentation-worthy Business Attire on a ridiculously hot summer’s day, would leapeth off a stage right after finishing said big presentation and procure Another Coveted Kowloon Cab, failing which he shalt attempt to navigate busy TST traffic calmly (snort) while attempting not to beat the living crap out of the GPS on the dashboard as the offending speaking instrument that claims to be a navigational tool tells him absolute rubbish in an irritating accent and obnoxiously calm manner about where the bloody exam center is.

When it is all over, Contestant 2 shall fling bewildered but bemused toddler back over to Contestant 1 emerging with elder offspring from exam room even as elder offspring slowly starts to develop a desire to bound about like a nut in delight that it is Over! and then fly back to Hong Kong Island whereby he shall carry on with massive and massively successful Asia Bankers’ Club event. Contestant 1 feels it necessary to disclose that at one point during the exam she received a text pondering the merits of bringing a certain toddler along for the event because our double daters can’t wait for us to emerge before getting back to work.

I type these because Ah, Memories.

So we needed a freaking merry go round ride. I was delighted to have the kids going in circles to inane music but not have to chase after them with a portable baby car seat strapped to my back and music bag and other crap like a freaking Bey Blade and launcher (the Very Best Kind with string attached!) for good measure in my hands. 

I don’t have a picture, but I’m almost sure somewhere on Hong Kong Island my husband can be located by a merry go round too. Like, sometimes, you don’t need to actually go anywhere. <Feel so deep.> (Oh right, it were a great event. Maybe he bought one. 🙂

Have a good week, dears.

I…. know. Miss and I were sick at one point…

1) ALL HAIL SPIDERDOG!

(Hope the dog doesn’t get hurt if one of the (apparently real) victims tries to actually squish the spider though…)

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2) All The Different Ways That iCloud Naked Celebrity Photo Leak Might Have Happened.

I’ve got one more: Scandal, bad publicity news pays. As long as it pays more to be a hacker than an internet security guy, you are going to have first-rate hackers and second-rate internet security guys. If you cannot hammer the errant hacker sufficiently so the wrongdoing doesn’t pay, your only other recourse is to pay him to work for you 🙂 (didn’t I hear somewhere about tech companies offering a “bounty” for hackers to breach their security – provided they document exactly how they did it?)

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3) Almost didn’t post this next because of the title. Some are funny, some are not (but entertaining anyway), Explanations To 15 Jokes Only Smart People Can Understand. There is a typo. “Smart,” in the title, is missing the inverted commas.

I liked this one:

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, “In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative.” But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

But this is the cutest

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4) Crazy people who are also rich, so that’s ok 😀 22 Executives Who Wake Up Really Early.

Dis is one.

(We’re not talking an average of 6am… More like 4.30am. Oh but hang on don’t most new mums (and dads) have to do that with night feedings, getting the baby to latch on and stuff? Milk pumping regimen, a new boss who has no qualms screaming their lungs out at you and it’s not like you can complain to HR that your boss is an a-hole and has thrown up all over your bed…)

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5) Eye candy: The Many Stylings of Modern Day Dandies. Like, Wow, Their Nails Are Probably In Much Better Shape Than Mine <bows head>

This my favorite because I can’t pull off a white suit with pink trimmed accessories, can you? Or for that matter those shoes…

And I really hope those aren’t real…

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6) 25 Of The Most Dangerous Journeys To School. Brings new meaning to the “When I was your age we had to walk 50 miles to school” chestnut.

SO showing the elder one this next time he complains the bus is late…

(Ok to be fair according to him he’s perpetually one of the last in to class each day because his current bus is the latest one to arrive… N-ot that I’m complaining because More Time For Breakfast and we live the furthest from the bus stop 🙂

SO cannot show the younger one this or she will insist on going to school here.

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7) Wow There’s So Much Eye Candy This Weekend 17 Most Unusual (Beautiful) Beaches.

No Kidding.

I chose this one above because of the metaphor: all that used to be trash. 

Freakin’ Trippy.

And then I chose this one above because – nope, not saying it. <signs to ward off evil>

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8) Skit this week is The Girls Try Their Hands (and Paws) At Jumprope.

(Seems good enough for the Miss…)

Have a good week ahead…