Rockstar Bungee Run (Or, Where There’s A Will, There’s A Way)

We uh, crashed a private event yesterday. I promise we didn’t hog anything, it was just the one turn on this bungee run because earlier in the day we’d been by when they were setting up and Rockstar was practically drooling at the padded walls (:D)

Growf!

Most of the signs were in Chinese, and we asked at the information counter of this area, who told us we could go purchase tickets later. This was seconded by a local family passing by Starbucks where we’d been snacking. Never mind why people who have absolutely no clue will still pretend they do, but this a Rockstar Public Service Message:

IF YOU ACTUALLY DON’T KNOW AND THERE IS A KID INVOLVED, SHUT UP.

Karma’s a bitch, you know – someday you’re gonna find yourself with 2 little kids in tow, one of whom is frothing at the mouth to have a go on the Bungee Run, and someone will tell your kid Yes You Can Definitely Play On This Thing. In Fact, It Might Even Be For Free. Wheee!

After those confirmations I simply could not let eager beaver Rockstar down when we eventually got there accompanied by his by now equally excited friend that it was in fact a private company event and we couldn’t purchase tickets for any amount of money.

At the reception counter they appear to have an employee name list, which is bad because I really don’t have Fib Face, so I walk around and find a middle-aged couple, no kids, holding the coveted event cards (with items that get stamped out as you redeem snacks or try out events) and munching popcorn. As in, There Is No Way They’re Going To Use Their Turn On The Bungee Run.

Hi there, you look like you could use a couple kids to help get that stamped for you. Well, it so happens I have two right here. They’re going for umm, 5 bucks each?

(Haha no, no way I can swing a convincing lie, so I literally went up to them and said my kids really, really had their hearts set on the Bungee Run, may we borrow your cards PLEEEEEZ?)

So we’re waiting in a short queue feeling totally awesome. Then the girl ahead of us (who looks to be about 8 or 9) starts crying almost hysterically that she doesn’t. Want. To lose. 

This is when we are ??!! because we thought the game was running at full speed until the bungee rope pulls you off your feet backward. Actually what you’re really supposed to do is, with the elastic rope attached to you, compete against the bungee runner in the next lane for the red square velcro-ed between you two on the barrier.

I start trying to convince Rockstar and Friend to try the bouncing castle instead. N-ope. Nothing. Nice Couple Who Lent Us Their Cards comes up to see if we’re done, eyes the girl sobbing away (but still kind of competing for the prize in between howls) and concludes it’s not our turn yet.

And then Rockstar’s up. Rockstar maybe reaches his opponent’s chest. Seriously ok, she’s either like, 12 or a very tall 10 or 11 year old. I overhear someone who looks to be her mum or aunt say to her “You better not lose to the little kid.” (In fact, when Rockstar’s Friend is up, there’s a much bigger and taller older boy in the other lane and he gets heckled the same. Something like “It would be very embarrassing to lose to that little girl.” Seriously, does it mean something a little different in Cantonese that I’m not getting via clumsy translation?)

Rockstar lunges at the cube prize at a dead run and is yanked back almost completely head-over-heels, giggling all the way. Someone remarks “Wah the Lang Jie (youngster)’s not bad.” His opponent easily claims the prize. That’s when I start distracting Rockstar to just get pulled about on the elastic. There is just no way he ever wins a single turn in a “serious competition” and so I encourage him to just go bouncing about off the walls.

His time is almost up when I ask one of the attendants manning this game, “Could you maybe let him hold that red cube just once before he leaves?” She frowns. “Look, there’s just no way he’s ever going to be able get that.” (Actually it was just ridiculous now I look back, Rockstar’s so-called “opponent” was almost twice his size – it was a size and age difference that was about the same as Rockstar vs Little Miss – no actually wider because there is no way those kids under 10 – and anyway how are people even that serious about Bungee Runs??? What mildly disturbs me is how despite the obvious size and age difference no one suggests to the older children to yield to the younger ones – it’s like a “serious competition” and they are all out to win.)

What must it be like to go to school like that?

“Can’t you let him hold that just once before he leaves?” The attendant shakes her head No. She opens her mouth and begins “But you can’t -” when Rockstar picks up the cube she’s left there and prances about.

And so we ride off into the sunset to Rockstar in the background going, “Don’t I get some kind of prize for that?” 

After Rockstar and Friend politely thank our benefactors for the loan of their cards, of course.