Rockstarism #204 – Fart jokes and not jokes

#204

Me: How was school, darling?

Rockstar: We were learning about Hong Kong. (Classmate) asked who built Peak Tower… Then he yelled (his name)! (His name!) Everyone laughed, and he laughed loudest. But I didn’t laugh. I (happened to be) farting……

<pause> Did you know ICC is the tallest building in Hong Kong? Followed by IFC and then Bank of China……

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Rockstar: Mum. What does “f-ck” mean?

Me: Where did you hear that?

Rockstar: <thinking> Can’t remember. <shrugs> Everywhere. People say it.

Me: Probably when people are mad, then. They’re saying it to let off steam, when they’re angry.

Rockstar: What does it mean?

Me: It might be a lazy way of saying and meaning “Fart”. You know what “fart” means, you and your toilet jokes with your friends.

Rockstar: Hee. Yeah. Stinky! Hee Hee. (He must seriously derive a lot of pleasure from toilet humor with his friends)

Me: Well so someone using it as a curse word when they’re mad is their way of saying something stinks, they don’t like it. Like when Mummy says “crap” or “shit”. (What? You want me to still strive for a little honesty or be a total hypocrite? Yeah I try, but he’s definitely heard me say shit or crap before.)

Rockstar: I like “poop” better. 

Me: Good for you, Mummy should use that one more often, it’s a cooler word.

Rockstar: <like a honking sound> Poop, poop… 

Awhile later, bedtime.

Me: Shhhhh-

Rockstar: Are you trying to say “shit”?

Me: No, I’m trying to get you to shush and be quiet.

Rockstar: <disappointed> Oh. I thought you wanted to say “shit”…

Me: I want you to Stop. Talking. And. Go to…. Sleep!

<pause>

Rockstar: “Shit” is funnier.

Me: SLEEP!!

Rockstar: O-Kay, o-kay…. <long suffering sigh>

Any resemblance to bodily functions purely coincidental - he's ducking to avoid the paper cranes. Yes, really.

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6 Responses to Rockstarism #204 – Fart jokes and not jokes

  1. Anonymous says:

    No, no, no. F*ck does not mean what mummy says it may mean when people are lazy. It is totally different. Please check online dictionaries, and tell the difference otherwise older kids would laugh at you. Mummy (a princess) has been raised in polite society so is a bit foggy about the literal meaning of swear words.

    • Aileen says:

      What… I answered his question about the sentiment behind using the word right… Isn’t that what he really wants to know, why people say that… Even if I explained the actual meaning of the word (complete with brief history of how f-u-c-k is actually an acronym) he’s still not going to understand why people use the word…

      And btw I think I figured y u sent me that email about me being like Ariel or something.. Because she’s the Disney princess who was kind of so “self sacrificing” for her prince as to get herself killed (or almost killed) for it.

  2. Anonymous says:

    okay, okay, mummy got it right after all!
    Princess Ariel was much more than a self-sacrificing girl – she also has the most beautiful voice in the undersea kingdom, was a headstrong girl in her youth (but became a reserved mum after she had a daughter – see “Little Mermaid 2”), fearless, imaginative, demur when the occasion required. She did put her life, and that of others, at risk, all for love – but it did work out superbly well for the kingdom and the human world. You have to watch “Little Mermaid (1989)” to understand it.
    Other Disney princesses (e.g. Jasmine in “Aladdin” (1990s), Rapunzel in Tangled (2010), Mulan, Snow White, Belle) have other personalities, yet have common noble qualities.

  3. Anonymous says:

    HOLA! it’s been a while since i drop by =), How are you guys doing? still as cute as ever! hope you do remember me? 

    The whole blog still rocks like a rock star! 

  4. Anonymous says:

    Listen to Ariel’s “Part of your world” song:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex3n6nFJbSo
    Also watch:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lOBc3QZD9w

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