Rockstarism #297 – Healthy Chips

#297

Kings brings Rockstar home from playing at a friend’s house and he doesn’t quite finish his usual huge dinner, leaving a spoonful or two…

Me: I’m surprised, I thought you’d be starving; did you eat something over there?

Rockstar: Yeah. I had Healthy Chips.

Me (thinking he’s totally making that up): Dude, you can call them anything you want, it doesn’t make them healthy. It’s like me scarfing “Healthy Candy.”

Rockstar: No, really, they showed me the bag. It had “healthy” on it.

Alright then. I wander off… Except…..

Me: Wait. They showed you the packaging? Why would they show you the packaging, did you ask them???

Rockstar: Yeah <shrugs>. They had chips so I said ‘Are they healthy’? 

Me: You went for a little party and asked (the hosts) if their chips were healthy???

Rockstar: Yeah! <nodding convincingly> And their helper’s really good. When I asked if the chips were healthy she went and got the bag to show me. 

Me: Uh…..

Me: And there is an actual bag of chips out there with the word “healthy” on it? Oh wait I think I know which one – were they Sun Chips? The rectangular ones?

Rockstar: <thoughtfully> They were prisms. 

Me: They were what??

Rockstar: Prisms. They were rectangular prisms.

Me: (To Kings) What is with your son today?

Rockstar: <Looking up from laptop> Hmm?

Kings: <Looking up from laptop> Hmm?

Ps: I hadn’t mentioned previously that last birthday party Rockstar went to, he’d announced before setting off that he wouldn’t be having cake that day. Didn’t feel like having something unhealthy. I then specifically asked him to just say ‘thank you’ and have a bite and quietly not finish it (there was one other party earlier in the year where he’d simply kept saying “no thanks” to birthday cake and ice cream that the host kept offering him and how do you tell a host “Sorry, it’s because my child doesn’t want anything unhealthy today” without sounding like a total jerk), so then that time I asked him to just accept some cake. Guess what happened? He still didn’t have any. 

Me: I thought I said don’t keep turning it down if they simply keep offering you something??

Rockstar: But (birthday boy) said it was ok, I didn’t have to eat it. 

Me: You asked if you “had” to eat it??

Rockstar: Yeah. I said “Do I really have to.” He said I didn’t have to. <shrugs>

One night in Okinawa when he DID have chips…..

And she didn’tzzzz.