Rockstarism #305 – Piano Non-competition and the Karma Covenant of Mums

#305

It turns out Rockstar is the only child in his (small) Canton music class who isn’t going for some upcoming local piano competition/ demo or something…. 

Rockstar’s classmates (in Cantonese): How come Rockstar isn’t going for competition too?

Rockstar meets their eyes (I’m pleased he can understand the Cantonese, since it’s not simply the music-class-related fare) and shrugs. They look back at him, blink, raise their eyebrows. (Hey, everyone – MY SON IS HAVING A CONVERSATION IN CANTONESE!)

No one answers their question however, not the teacher, not other mums, and in my case because of the Karma Covenant of Mums, whereby if you think you’re going to “spoil” someone else’s child’s view of something, you well, keep mum. It’s like in Mum-hood you must strive to be your Absolute Nicest (REAL nice, not fake, multi-exclamation mark nice where you just rest your finger on the keyboard) unless someone is being a bloody T-Rex with you and you really have no choice but to cut the dinosaur’s toothy head off. 

Karma Covenant of Mums is the crazy unwritten rule whereby you love your kids so freaking much and acknowledge there are so many unknowns to bringing them up that you shall try your best not to contribute to another Wild Card Unknown in some other mum’s parenthood. You know, when another mum whispers to you she managed to get her son to Kumon, and “Don’t tell him Rockstar doesn’t Kumon,” and you try.   

After class, however…..

Rockstar: Mum. How come I’m not going for competition?

Me: Do you want to practice for two hours every day like (friend)?

Rockstar: <snort> No. Hee. 

Me: Didn’t think so. Suddenly IXL isn’t looking so bad now, is it?

(While I acknowledge a certain amount of work must be done, I’m going to try my best to find “life hacks” to cut it down as much as possible, and still get the material in him. Because I really want him to still have some free play time for Legos or marbles or etc…)

ps: The local kids in his class are about a year younger, most have private music tutors in addition to this one class (which I put Rockstar in as much for the local Cantonese experience as well as some basic music activity outside school – chatting with these mums is a relatively easy way for me to get an idea of the local schooling scene without the conversation getting all “kiasu” because well, we aren’t going local, they are always curious about ESF, and we are the only ones not going for piano competition or aspiring to make some kind of top music class), and one girl who sometimes doesn’t have enough time to practice (though yes she’s also going for competition) attends two kindergartens (K3), one in the morning and one in the pm. (I then told this to a friend in KL who says nowadays lots of little kids in KL take many tuition classes around their school hours too…….)

pps: I’m telling the story without putting any pictures of my happy, smiling kids or whatever up, because well, you know why.