The Snail and the Whale

It was the first time I ever heard him say it. “Rockstar is sm-ALL.” All those mummies and mum-in-laws and helpers and strangers loudly exclaiming ”He’s so small!” When I could only mumble a feeble “his dad is a little height challenged” (both his parents are 5ft 7inches and he hasn’t learnt the meaning of “height challenged”), when what I really want to say is “shut the f*** up, does it not occur to you he can hear you?” How come they know not to make the fat kid feel bad, but it never occurs to them the small kid has ears and <newsflash> feelings too?

With more conviction now, “Rockstar is SMALL!” It’s a badge of honor.

We were reading The Snail and the Whale. Mummies of the world, if you have a small kid, get this book.

The snail feels small against the vastness of the world she gets to see while hitching a ride on the tail of a humpback whale. Then one day she saves her friend when he’s beached in a bay – by leaving a trail  “Save the Whale,” that alerts villagers and the fire brigade. I love this book. It’s a smorgasbord of opportunity for Mummy manipulations.

“You can be small but clever. Small saved the day.”

“Knowing your ABC can help you save whales.”

“You can be small but nice.”

“Being nice (like the whale letting the snail hitch a ride on his tail) gets you friends.  Friends can save you when you’re beached in a bay.”

It was like a light bulb went on in his head. You could see it shining out through his little eyeballs. Nerd that I am, I got a little misty-eyed. (Honestly, I’m not in the least bit sappy. Unless it involves my son.)

I might be small but I stand tall

(and you in the background – I heard a rumor smoking might kill you)

Two Smalls weathering the storm, speaking out against smoking along the way

Embrace the Small, I say. Now, if I could just come up with one for the fat kids it would be gold. Except I might get sued like McDonald’s..

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