There Is A “Better Fathering Index”?!

There is, or soon will be, a Better Fathering Index. I shit you not, this is from non-profit Centre for Fathering in Singapore. I think I kena marked down already, using s- word. Oh yeah I’m not a dad – probably kena marked down further. I know I’m late to post, but it’s kinda hard, between The Tyrant Who Does Not Nap and you know, having to sleep, eat, shower and basically be a human. But anyway lemme try:

Daddy M was not pleased. Nor was Kelvin. Nor this dad at Blogfather.

So….. This is an index to measure the quality of fathering?

Sorry guys, I know you’re pissed but – THIS IS DEM FUNNY!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Sorry. No no cannot.  <snort> <ducks head> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

This is like when they had that book “How To Avoid Being Abducted By Aliens” and it was funny because it wasn’t meant to be. But then I couldn’t remember the exact title of the book when I was googling to mention it on my blog. Instead I found this. Can also:

How To Make A Thought Screen Helmet That Stops Space Aliens From Abducting Humans. It says they have a flow chart linking alien abduction to “the autism epidemic.” (Crap, on second thoughts I un-linked it – you can google search it yourself, the site is stopabductions.com. It says they had one failure from usage of helmet i.e. someone still got abducted in 1998. I have no idea how serious or not these people are but after awhile I get scared.)

Hang on. 

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) posted How To Prepare For Zombie Infestation. (For real, the idea being general guidelines for preparing against an epidemic.)

So Singapore has a Better Fathering Index, arguably first in the world. I can’t wait for it to come out, can we send in suggestions? I would like to ask for heavier weightings for:

1) watching nonsense slapstick Stephen Chow-type stuff while supposedly “taking care of” the kids (or in my case The Kardashians)

2) telling your kid all kids are supposed to like ice cream when your kid asks what the big deal is about eating ice cream when he is offered ice cream and doesn’t finish it

3) forgetting to feed them

4) overfeeding them

5) losing one

6) buying them an Xbox and thinking “but he wanted it, what” is an acceptable reason

Me (to The Mens vegging belly up on bed): Hey. D’you guys know there is a Better Fathering Index?

Kings: <frowns> tsk. Wha-aaat.

Me: They want to better measure the performance of fathers on an index.

Kings: <frowns> tsk. Wha-aaat.

Rockstar: I’m watching you, Dad. 

End of conversation.

Yay fathers! Exhausted and all!

Ok but seriously. How long ago since weather derivatives came out and people were Huh? Like dat also can? Now there is BFI my turn to be really? Not serious right… 

When asked about family duties and bread winning in the past, I once described Kings and I as a team. On a team, there are different parts to play – you have strikers, you have goalie… Each member of the team is in that position on the team because of their strengths – whether it’s stay at home dad or super overworked dad or somewhere in between, or…… (And when you want to score you have to learn to pass the ball along.) Kings and I agreed long ago I would be the main stay-at-home parent. So? I’m not about to judge his ability to be the non-goodtime parent on our family team, that is simply not the position he plays.

Anyway it’s kinda why I’m so flippant, I can’t imagine the actual index as a real performance measure (instead of a conversation starter) because it boggles my mind how to quantify (feel free to take the shot about the state of my mind 🙂

Some writings are praised, others are read… You’re telling me this isn’t just a little tongue-in-cheek to get a conversation going? I mean, the actual CDC has zombies. 

ps: I hope this isn’t taken the wrong way, I mean no disrespect – there are times when I miss living in Singapore and there are times when I enjoy being in HK. Rockstar and I used to follow Kings over regularly, some of my besties are there, so we got the best of both worlds…. We haven’t been able to do that recently, so laugh about it, hate it, hearing about BFI made me miss Singapore. I remember the jokes about Singapore government-led dating (“Got quality control or not?” Actually got ok!!), buying lotsa chewing gum in JB for your colleagues….. <wistful>

And I have friends living here who would probably be quite happy to playfully measure “fathering abilities.” Mostly, they’re still praying to get to be fathers one day.

They want to have an index? Fine, let all the fathers tell em how, based on their own positions on their family teams. How about an ongoing conversation, fleshed out by some voices of experience? It can be cool, or it can be annoying – and it’s the fathers who get to decide that, right? After all, fathers are more involved today… (and thank you, Andy for supporting Mummy vacations!) We’d love to follow the dialogue. (Sigh, wish again we could visit…)