Zippety, The Imaginary Friend

#190

There were times during this thing when we were a little creeped out, because Rockstar sounded so completely serious. Absolutely refused to admit this was all in his head and we couldn’t tell, except towards the end, that he was aware this was all made up. This is a conversation that carried on throughout most of our Sunday… 

Before The Aliens Landed: You play with your toy, I'll play with my toy (Rockstar is trying to film JD with his iPod, JD is trying to get him to throw her ball)

Rockstar: <gravely, right after waking in the morning> Mum. When we were walking JD in the park yesterday I met someone in a rocket ship.

Me: Good morning, did you just have a dream?

Rockstar: No! You were there too. His name is Cippety. He has a rocket ship that landed in the park. (Spends some time correcting my pronunciation of the name)

Me: Erm.. Is he… an alien?

Rockstar: No, he’s a person. <pause> Dressed as an alien.

Me: What does he look like?

Rockstar: He has two eyes and dresses all in red.
(I tell Kings about this while we’re getting dressed for church)

Rockstar: <overhearing> No, ZIP-pe-ty. With a Z not C (I was just telling Kings “C” as in “Celine”). We have to go to the field and meet him later. He has a present for JD.

Me: Why, does he like dogs?

Rockstar: Yes he likes to eat them.

Me: He eats dogs?? We’re not meeting him, it’s illegal to eat dogs in HK. Or cats. The police are going to lock him up. What did Mummy say about bad influences.

Rockstar: Today’s Sunday. He only eats dogs on Saturdays.

Me: It’s illegal in HK to eat dogs even on Saturdays. And anyway I don’t want you hanging out with a crazy dog-eating person. What if he eats JD?

Rockstar: He won’t eat JD, he wants to give her a present. We have to meet him. He told me yesterday he would land in sector 74.

Me: What does he do when he’s not eating housepets?

Rockstar: He eats Moon Fruits. From Moon Trees.

Me: They can’t be like any fruit on earth, can they? What do plants on earth need to grow?

Rockstar: <pause> Air, water, sunlight.

Me: Right. Do they have that on the moon?

Rockstar: No, so the plants have to eat Moon Bugs. They catch them like Venus Flytraps. (This is probably from him having learnt carnivorous plants have to supplement their diet by eating bugs because they often grow in areas where the soil alone is not rich enough to sustain them…)

Me: Are you sure he’s human? Whatever grows in Moon conditions and eats any bugs that can live there is probably really alien.

Rockstar: That’s why he likes dog.

Me: There are so many other things to eat on this earth!!

Rockstar: Oh. Yeah. Like chicken. Everyone eats chicken. Mum. I tell you something else. <whispering conspiratorially> Zippety gave me his phone number. We can call him if we’re late.

Me: Oh? And what’s the number?

Rockstar: 875643

Kings: <snapping back in after long contemplative silence> And the area code?

(I spend some time explaining area codes)

Rockstar: <sounding disappointed> Oh. I forgot to get the area code for the moon. Can we google it?

Me: Erm, I’m not sure they use the same kind of communication equipment on the moon as they do on earth, we’ll just have to be on time or wait for him to call us… Hey, come to think of it, how come Zippety dresses in red, not white like most spacemen? Lunar Jim (from Cbeebies) wears white, right? And he lives on the Moon…

Rockstar: He used to live on Mars. But then he moved to the Moon. So his phone number is a Moon number.

Me: How come he moved, what was wrong with Mars?

Rockstar: He found a better house on the Moon. It was cheaper.

Me: Those darn Martian property prices. After they found some water or moss fossils or something now everyone wants to live there. The Moon is no longer the cool new place to live. (Rockstar nods in agreement).

Kings: What was the number again?

Rockstar: Mum remembers. What was that number Mum?

So it goes on and on til we’re up at the park..

Me: <as we walk to a clearing along one of the Peak trails> I guess sector 74 is in the middle of the playground where a spaceship can land. This trail is too narrow, what with the rock face.

Rockstar: I’m sure Zippety’s ship can adjust. It’s a big ship. It’ll just land on the whole mountain.

Me: That doesn’t make sense, darling. (I know! Like any of this makes sense!) Don’t all space ships need a clearing in order to land? Unless it has adjustable feet…

Rockstar: No, I think it’ll just land in the clearing there…  <runs ahead to playground> JD! No! Don’t sniff the landing pad! Zippety’s ship wants to land there!

Me: Oh don’t boss her, she’s just curious.

Rockstar: <huffily> Not allowed! Because… because… Zippety has worms on his ship. 

Me: What?? You saw that NASA video, entering Earth’s atmosphere makes the ship heat up from the friction. All the worms would be fried. They had to cover the NASA ship with tiles made of the same material as sand, remember?

Rockstar: These are special worms made of sand. They help with the landing. They squeak, then Zippety knows how to adjust his ship.

Then follows an elaborate landing, greeting and parcel acceptance, before Rockstar waves goodbye to the ship and mimes presenting me with a parcel to carry for JD so he can play with the rest of the stuff in the playground. We hand JD’s imaginary parcel back and forth as we walk back up the path to where Kings is waiting…   

On the drive home…

Kings: So, how was the meeting with Zippety?

Rockstar: Who’s Zippety?

The end.