Owning It, Learning It, How We’ve Been Doing It

First chance I got when Rockstar started primary school (which is by now more than a year ago), I’d have been happy to do almost anything (except maybe kill a chicken) around the baby’s schedule, just so kids knew Rockstar’s Mum actually did show up sometimes in school. The primary motivation was just in case I might have to nip any, “He’s too little to be here (i.e. in this class/ level),” in the bud – which I should clarify has never happened in school, but did happen in a former Sunday school. (I only saw it the once, it was loud.) I’ve also had kids (and their mums) ask me why Rockstar is that little, though less and less after he started primary school. It used to bother him a lot. It doesn’t anymore.

I mean, kids’ll say anything, often very innocently, and I talk to Rockstar all the time about how being little (and fairly bright) is who he has been blessed to be. He’s thought about it seriously, then added “I’m also very fussy”. (Oh, and he refers to another schoolmate he gets along with as “The other fussy one,” and means it affectionately, so again about little kids saying things innocently…) 

Then I was telling another mum how mums who make an appearance on the school yard soon get recognized, and she strongly recommended I also mention this recent exchange and so here it is… After awhile when Rockstar’s friends could recognize me, I didn’t just get the sunny “Hi, Rockstar’s Mum!” I’d imagined, I also got We Had This Fight, He Always Troubles Me – type conversation starters. HANG ON – It’s not always some kid trying to get Rockstar in trouble or Rockstar being naughty.

(For the record though, it happened once in front of another mum, she went home and asked her own child if Rockstar ever did anything like that, her child said no, she asked me if it bothered me. I would probably be indignant if it had bothered Rockstar, but he-of-the-very-straight-disposition simply assumed no one would believe it. And some of it can be quite funny, one time you could see they’d come running up and were simply searching for something to say, and when one caught on to He Troubles Me the rest were Oh! Yeah! The Other Day….. Other Day…. The…….. <trails off thinking of something> except what I was really thinking was how they were like Angry Little Townspeople 😀 They also do the We Love Rockstar, He’s Our Friend thing, it can really swing either way… I figure the school would identify any actual misdemeanors so this is really just me talking about how kids’ll sometimes say “anything”…)

So anyway when they do The Angry Townspeople (not that often) my response would be feigned surprise – “Really? What I heard was he had a great time playing with you, you’re an awesome <balance board balance-r/ hopscotch-er/ insert some other Dale Carnegie-worthy compliment based on whatever I last remembered I had heard about them playing>!”

This usually causes the Little Petitioner in question to blink, then nod Yes Dis Is True and run off to do more awesome <insert some Dale Carnegie-worthy compliment> playing. Occasionally checking with Rockstar re the next time he plays with said friend seems to indicate they get along better, after (touch wood!). Upon such encounters I like to draw lessons like how important positive reinforcement (as opposed to negative behavior) is, and how adults are no different. So Dale Carnegie…

Rockstar is mildly aware I do this “positive reinforcement”-type thing on the schoolyard. Once, I got an “Uh… Mu-um….” – whereupon thankfully I managed to elbow him into dubious conspiracy. “I bet you would’ve said that if you’d had the chance, right? Look at that, you just made his day. You guys’ll probably have a great play session next time!” and Rockstar will either shrug Whatever or nod Dis Is True. He Looks Happy. Sometimes he says “Fine. I don’t care. Just do it.” (Never ceases to amaze he how he sounds like such a teenager nowadays. I look at him and I still see a little kid, but then he opens his mouth…!)

And as for that thing about “being little”. Rockstar tells me he’s called “The Littlest Kid In Year 2.” He says with the new batch of Year 1s coming in, many have observed that he’s littler than quite a few. And then he tells me how his crazy Science bug was since discovered and made use of in class, and so he is “The Little Scientist”. He’s little. And he’s crazy about science. And that’s really who he is, and it’s been wonderful to see him own it. All of it.

Remember Iron Man and the Orange Goblin last year?

Last year we’d reached Halloween season with him choosing Iron Man, because of Tony Stark’s techie thing, building his own suit and other weapons. He also had some affinity with Spiderman (another nerd who discovers something that gives him superpowers), but doesn’t feel he has that much in common with Captain America (too hunky) and especially not Thor. (Ok, can I just say he has some friends who really have gorgeous blonde locks or are well, some of the taller, older “leaders” in their bunch and I think they would really make good Thors and Captains and I’m going to have a hard time keeping a straight face if I get to fist bump Thor or Captain America this year).

Captain America and Thor (pic from g4tv.com)

It’s no coincidence Rockstar didn’t choose to be Optimus Prime (big truck who is leader of the Autobots) this year either. As the obvious littlest and youngest, he also tells me a little of the kids’ “social structure,” i.e. which of the kids always choose the games, who should really be Optimus, and frankly I agree. Optimus is the boy Rockstar tells me he does hope to be more like. He’s one of the much older boys, and I’m pleased to notice, one of the kinder, nicer, responsible kids. That’s Optimus.

Rockstar? Well, he’s Bumblebee, of course. He frowns a little about Bumblebee’s damaged vocals, but relaxes when I argue Bumblebee still communicates well, just not by actually speaking (since Rockstar obviously is opinionated and quite articulate).

Optimus Prime and Bumblebee (pic from tfw2005.com)

Bumblebee is one of the littlest (but very resourceful) Autobots in Transformers.

And The Little Shall Inherit The Earth.

“NOW where’s the little guy got to?”

Little Miss hunting Rockstar with (very soft) paper sticks. Note facial expression.