Green Lantern And Father’s Day Dinner Our Way

Posted on June 20, 2011 by admin

(With update at bottom)

Should you lie to your child?

And did we watch Green Lantern last night?

Ultimate comfort food – Yums! How did we get here? Read on…

So Rockstar overhears Kings on the cellphone loudly looking forward to the movie. At the time, he gives no indication he’s heard or that he’s noticed me gesticulating wildly for Kings to shut it, in his peripheral vision. He carries on his jigsaw like nothing happened. But the Rockstar is freakishly good at picking these things up. People, including the grandparents, keep saying Aiya sure or not, he is so small… And then they have giant problems handling him and they don’t know why… I would never have believed it if I hadn’t learned the very hard way that recognizing this thing about his personality actually makes  my life a lot easier… If he’s acting up, go back and see whether something like us getting caught in a lie (in Rockstar’s mind, anyway) or being flakey could’ve happened. Don’t believe me? But it really does work.

The deal is one Kings and I make with Rockstar whenever we want time alone. He gets a whole bunch of entertainment of his choice during the day, he concedes  to let Mum go “help Daddy in the office for a couple hours” while he winds down over dinner.

<Sirens going off!> Lie and Deception Alert! (At least that’s what it looks like in Rockstar’s head. But I thought I had to. I worry he picks up on just how much movie and brainless tv his father watches. It’s why our date of choice is usually a movie. I didn’t want Rockstar to know that.) Except he HATES being lied to. Or not being taken seriously…

Rockstar’s long-standing Putonghua tutor has had problems for a week because she happened to cut Rockstar off, brushing off something he said to her in earnest. He’d been model student for almost 2 years and I guess she kinda figured I was exaggerating about his ability to morph into Student From Hell when not taken seriously, which I guess is an honest mistake, people have told me they often can’t imagine what it’s like to awaken the beast. Rockstar’s passionate explanation was, “I tried I tried to tell her about the numbers we were counting and she just kept saying No No No (without hearing me out)! Tsk!” It would seem he is less accepting about being cut off when he is the only student in class. Hmm.

I assured her as long as she brushes it off he is going to continue fighting whatever she wants him to do. He is now doing whatever he can to tank his Putonghua lesson. “Mum. She is speaking English to me all the time.” “Mum. I get enough Chinese in school.” Uh, you’re doing Chinese because your parents are over-worried they seriously suck at it and you live in Northasia so either you work with her or you have to adjust to a new tutor. “Oh. Let me think about it. <Thoughtful pause.> Ok, you can change my tutor.” Wha-aat? And then you’ll behave?? “Yes.” You’d rather have a new tutor you don’t know and maybe you hate even more than this one?? “But I am not fine with this one.” Sigh. But I should qualify that I even allowed this one to walk into our bedroom where Rockstar naps in the afternoon and pick him up, still asleep, to begin his Putonghua lesson. When he cried about it, it was for maybe 5 minutes tops as she read books to distract him, and then he was ready to start, so I left it. Just tried as much as possible to not have him nap overtime. When he starts using all his brainpower to fight his lessons with her (now, btw, not when she was interrupting his naps last year) it’s a different kettle of fish, I think it’s a red flag this is starting to not work out.

Anyway. We’re trying to get to a movie and the clock is ticking. Rockstar is refusing to give us his usual cheery “Byeee” blessing, though he isn’t carrying on about us leaving. I know him well enough – if we leave now there will be payback for the deception. Otherwise next time I need him to eat a square meal before school/ get dressed/ stop watching tv – there will be a fight. Payback. My Rockstar the little mafia.

I bite back frustration. Kings has not been back before 10 or 11 pm a single work day in 2 weeks; often he’s been back after Rockstar and I are asleep. He’s gone the whole of this week. When he’s gone we are sometimes not in touch for days, except for an occasional text from him confirming he has not been mugged somewhere and left for dead. We need this date, where we pig out like teenagers on hotdogs and popcorn. Nachos and cheese. That was our dinner tonight. HK movie theaters also serve Siew Mai in little cups with toothpicks btw, spelt “Siu Mine” and all.

5 minutes to movie time. Our precious movie date is circling the drain and I start getting really mad at Kings for letting the cat out of the bag. He’s put me in the doghouse and I didn’t even do anything. <pout pout, pity party> But honestly if one of my RMs had called me out of the blue like that I would probably have done the same. Important parenting lesson: Be aware of whether your child is within earshot before you pick up your cellphone.

I got caught lying. Rockstar’s going to be difficult all week if I don’t fix it, and I still need him to have a serious think this week about whether he can at all live with his current Putonghua tutor. (In case you wonder why I put so much effort into whether he likes his tutor/ school/ swimming laps it’s because with Rockstar it makes all the difference between whether he tries his best to learn or to get out of doing something. Rockstar’s best can be quite something. It’s why he always wants to average about 20 assisted laps in his favorite lap pool before doing anything else. Even when his teeth are chattering (so then I got him a wetsuit.) It’s why he will now feed himself a fairly good breakfast so he can get his laps done. Still assisted, though.)

We forgo the 8pm movie. Slowly, Rockstar brightens. Acceptable sincere penance for the lie, I guess. “Rockstar, you had quality time with Daddy this afternoon. Mum hasn’t. I’m going to miss Daddy when he’s away all week. I really need to do something with Daddy.. So you have to let us go out later tonight ok? <thinking: don’t say you’re going to work anymore>” He nods good-naturedly this time. And finishes his dinner. Best behavior on.

Except we were supposed to be pigging on junk at dinnertime, now we’ve bought new tickets for a late show and meantime we’re starving.

We hoard this from Malaysia or Singapore because it’s not easily available in Park n Shop or Wellcome here…

So Kings whips up an old favorite. Maggie Mee!

And that, folks, was our Father’s Day dinner 😀

ps: Yeah in future I’m going to try harder not to lie to Rockstar… already cost us two unused Green Lantern tickets…

Update: Rockstar’s Chinese tutor texted me to say they had a productive session that ran over time, the Rockstar confirmed it when I got home – apparently his tutor had fixed it with an apology and new activity book to start the lesson with (she actually has a lot of freedom about this because my only requirement is Rockstar is able and willing to use the language). The Rockstar is like a page out of Dale Carnegie – “please,” “thank you,” and “sorry,” will make you a friend or influence the Rockstar every time.

Posted in aileensml | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Rockstarism #127 (And Happy Father’s Day)

Posted on June 18, 2011 by admin
Fathers’ Day Morning pic before church…

A father’s gotta do what a father’s gotta do… After church what Kings really wanted to do was marathon-sleep…  Ah well, he gets to pick what he really wants to do today right… So I spent the day entertaining Rockstar and then Kings woke up after several hours of comatose-ness and brought the Rockstar to a basketball game in Wan Chai…

Except then this happened… And all the basketball guys were taking cellphone pics

We intended for the above to happen, we wanna catch Green Lantern tonight… Just… It happened a little sooner than expected so Kings had to cut short bball, bring him home not sleeping, and then after cleaning him up we have to put him back down again…Except… Then Kings blurted out on the cellphone with his friend how We’re Watching Green Lantern Yippee! so now Rockstar doesn’t want us to go.

Ah, the joys of parenting. Don’t many good times, great memories happen when they happen – not necessarily on predetermined greeting card holidays?

PS: We still don’t know if we’re gonna be a no-show at the movies… 😛

*** End of Update!***

So I happened to receive some positive comments from Rockstar’s ABC Music & Me teacher recently (it’s like a school extra-curricular I guess, we signed up thru his school – I jumped at the chance because he’d previously formed such a dislike for maracas shaking and what-not at one of the Wisekids Playrooms we frequented after getting really angry that another child took both his musical instruments away and no one said anything to her…

Figured after the school did such a great job of instilling enjoyment in my strong-willed son for their lessons it was my best chance ever to undo his strong dislike for “music time” if we joined the one conducted in school..)

Me: Rockstar, you must be enjoying school activities, your “Music Camp” teacher says you’re responsive and follow instructions well.

Rockstar: <nodding gravely> Yes. This is true.

Me: So you can actually follow instructions without having to be told repeatedly. Then how come you don’t do this for Mummy?

Rockstar: Because Daddy doesn’t. I’m just following Daddy.

Way to put Daddy in the dog house.

Rockstar's Happy Father's Day Face (Yes, really)

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

May you enjoy the office that gets you in trouble with your child’s mother like no other!!

Kings basically crashed about the apartment this morning looking for a clean shirt that wasn’t too crummy and then went, “Hey, you bought me shirts, didn’t you?”

(Rockstar isn’t in his matching shirt because this pic was taken up at the Peak walking the dog this morning. That’s an old Jacadi shirt he always wears to hot, mosquito-infested areas because I spray his clothing all over with  baby insect repellant and then leave it to air dry 20 mins… beats applying loads of  it directly on his skin..)

Posted in Rockstarisms, Talking To Rockstar | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Out Father’s Day Shopping. Or, A Little Niceness Can Go A Long Way.

Posted on June 16, 2011 by admin

 

What I bot the Rockstar... (Was thinking more embroidery/ detailing, harder to fake)

The problem with “surprises” is that they are surprising. And given Kings and I have a basic distrust for each other’s tastes (Yes. I know. We also married each other. By all means enjoy yourselves) we don’t often surprise each other in terms of gift choices. Looking at how much thought Kings puts into how he dresses most of the time (ie none), you wouldn’t have thought my husband is fussy but – and I say this with love – I’m married to Mr Giant Fusspot.

The difference is Kings doesn’t much care what he looks like – but he cares very much how it feels. As in, I no longer buy ties for him because the exquisite navy-with-discreet-electric-blue-and-red-roses Paul Smith tie I bought him years ago is still a virgin. Why? Because in the morning when he is tying a Windsor, the feel of the fabric “spoils (his) whole day.”

(Those of you who see him fairly regularly – this is why he always seems to be alternating the same two ratty Prada and Hugo Boss ties. It is possible he still doesn’t remember what they look like, but if you blindfolded him while he tied them, he would know them right down to the loose threads sticking out. I have even tried to buy ones that feel the same when I tie them, but the hub can still tell the difference. And since the only neck that feels it refuses to be brought along for the shopping (first thing I do when I want to shop is look for a cyber cafe or book store to park its owner in because its owner is a helluva shopping-experience killer, you see this is how we stay married and in love), there shall be no more tie purchases.)

Oh, and Kings is the same with shirt cuffs. They have to slide perfectly over his wristwatch (very simple limited edition slim Omega – it was once a joke in the market how Kings had someone reporting to him who wore a watch costing >10 times what his cost). Otherwise he will wear neither shirt nor the watch and use one of his two blackberries to tell the time.

So I text, “Any special requests for your Father’s Day gift, otherwise it’s going to be (Ralph Lauren) shirts or (Vilebrequin) trunks.” Both have mini-me versions I can dress Rockstar in, you see. If Rockstar’s wearing it, I have a better shot at getting his father to wear it. (Unless something like last summer happens again). Because Kings once observed how much better dressed his son was (well d-uh, while you’re dressing yourself, who dresses your son?)

Lee Garden

“Shirts please :)” Sigh. No surprise. So I trot down to Lee Garden, arguably the poshest mall in Causeway Bay, (which btw has loadsa upscale baby/ children’s clothes) toting a private sale invitation card I’d been saving.

Arguably the poshest mall toilet I've seen in awhile, complete with towel valet

So I do what I usually do when shopping for those two, that is, pick about half-doz items in the kiddie store and have the salesgirl call the grownup store to check for matching items. Which is when a tall, slim blonde woman abruptly blows up in the store. <Holding up pink dress> “I said 12 years. You got me 12 months. HOW can you not speak English.”

She’s already loud enough to be heard easily throughout the store, but she raises her voice still higher, “Does ANYONE here speak English??” I consider explaining that part of the problem is her own English carries a thick accent (she pronounces “years” “yehs” and “months” “moths”) that the salesgirls (well it is Lee Garden after all, not Women’s Street in Mong Kok) are not used to and that’s probably making it even harder – there are a lot more Hongkie-Canadians around I think, they can probably handle an American-ish accent a little better.

“I said DOS ANYONE HERE SPEAK ENGLISH? THIS IS RALPH LAUREN!! I VANT TO SPEAK TO ZE MANAGER!!”

Y-eah. Suddenly I don’t either. Speak English, I mean. Because the first salesgirl who served me was also a little rude at my English+Cantonese, proceeding to not serve me in favor of a Putonghua-speaking woman she then shows off her Putonghua to, a little too loudly. Not worth stepping in to offer translation services (not… that I’m very good anyway.) Today, I must not risk a fight, I’m seriously out of time (I usually buy gifts months in advance) – if she kills my mood to shop I’ll be hard-pressed to get it done before the weekend.

But… Putonghua salesgirl’s place is quickly taken by a new salesgirl who proceeds to call several RL stores to check sizes for me (including, I note with new respect at her professionalism, on sale – not just full-priced – merchandise… I had an experience at Lane Crawford once, long ago.. “These are on sale.” She says it like I’m cheap – uh, they’re still HKD 3,000+ Marc Jacobs boots marked down just 30% and I have a privilege card you twit. “They probably sold out. I’m sure we have sizes on these full-priced items I can check and have delivered from other stores.” Even without your emphasis on key words there I get the hint – you are of the race of obnoxious people in Sales that I hate in HK. Anyway. I mention to illustrate why I’m impressed this salesgirl is checking sales items so diligently.)

And I don’t like the way the Angry Customer is carrying on because the girl serving her is sincerely apologizing profusely for mishearing (and it was only one mistake), and she’s coming across more as a bully than as someone seriously frustrated (which I will admit to occasionally also feeling at my own lack of Canton here. There are bullies in every language, a disproportionate number of which drive cabs). Also, it’s not Putonghua salesgirl she is yelling at, whose self-preservation instincts have taken her across the room. Darn, too bad.

So when Angry Customer ends up at the counter I’m browsing, I speak in pointedly polite English to the nice salesgirl checking the stores for my stuff.

By the time we’re done, I come away with a rugby jersey on sale for Rockstar (after cringing slightly at the simpler tees that could pass at first glance for what I saw on my last Stanley Market T-shirt binge) and the promise of a phone call from my Ralph Lauren kiddie store of choice which they will send the other on-sale sweater I picked out to because they’re out of Rockstar’s size in this store. Angry Customer, still standing beside me, utters a polite thank  you to her salesgirl as she pays for a pink dress. How nice.

So this makes a blog post because late the next day I get not one, but two separate calls to tell me Rockstar’s cerulean blue cotton-knit sweater has arrived from some ulu-fied Ralph Lauren store where it hasn’t sold out. (The second caller quickly apologizes and rings off when she hears I’ve already been called). I swing by after getting two Polo shirts for Kings.

 

Oh and look what I found at the counter, RL has their own children's book for charity

“You’re Mrs Lai?” the salesgirl asks – twice (and I prickle involuntarily – what, do I not look like a Mrs Lai, when I’m in shredded and paint splashed (artfully, I can only hope) J Brands and a Junk Food tee with Mick Jagger’s famous lips on it?) before returning with the precious sweater. Then, glancing at the large Ralph Lauren paperbag containing Kings’ shirts adds, “Well, did you want (store credit) for those, can I see them?” Uh, no – I actually want to keep my purchases and buy a bit more stuff, thank you very much.

 

I also got this... No prizes for guessing what label the characters in the story are wearing... I almost bought that shirt (now on sale) for Rockstar too...

At her gentle insistence I end up allowing her to check a whole bunch of stuff she then discourages me from buying when she doesn’t think it’ll fit right (Rockstar is between sizes) and I come away with just an additional tee – in the end I apologize, slightly embarrassed, for not even buying the precious blue sale sweater they sent from somewhere in Kowloon (Rockstar is all head, it’s unlikely I could pull it over that head even with the larger size), to a “Oh, don’t mention it.” As I’m paying, another salesgirl places an exquisite navy sleeveless dress with just the right amount of ruffled navy and white striped hem (I love RL girls’ clothes, it’s gift of choice to girlfriends who have daughters because they have a lot of not-too-frothy dresses for the less “sugary” girlie- girls). “Oh YEESS!!! My salesgirl suddenly agrees animatedly and that’s how I learn she’s carrying a baby girl.)

 

I'll mention this though...

There’s a saying goes if you’ve eaten your fill and don’t have a fridge, be sure to share (which I like to interpret as always be the nicest you can be, especially when it costs you nothing).

Because which would you rather have, rotten food or a friend?

 

 

Posted in Rockstar Shopping, Rockstar Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Rockstarism #126

Posted on June 15, 2011 by admin

#126

Rockstar: Mum. What do you think of Waybuloo and Numberjacks?
Me: <Thinking I don’t really want Rockstar to watch a bunch of cbeebies tv programs, so lemme try psyching him out> Well… I like Numberjacks, but I find Waybuloo boring, I think it’s for babies or younger children…

Rockstar: <theatrically reassuring> It’s ok, Mum. If you don’t like Waybuloo, you don’t have to watch it. I like it, so I’ll watch it.

…And another Mum scheme bites the dust…

PS: If you were wondering whether he was on to me, it was quite likely he was. Because he was watching my reaction out of the corner of his eye while saying it… Also because he’s gone on to “Mum. Any program you don’t like, just leave the room. You don’t need to watch while I watch…”

I was so obvious meh?

 

Posted in Rockstarisms, Talking To Rockstar | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Dear Rockstar, There Are Worse Things Than Being Single

Posted on June 14, 2011 by admin

Dear Rockstar,

Mum tapped  out her thoughts on our iPhone while she was trying to get you to sleep in for a bit because we had a long day that ended with cell group. Then she realized some of what she wanted to say at cell was also stuff she wanted to say to you about relationships and single-ness someday. If you ever cast about wishing you’d already found The One to spend the rest of your life with…

A Single Ghost Chair

1) Know that there are worse things than being single – you can marry the wrong person. You can have children with the wrong person. You can then remain trapped, knowing that the loveless relationship keeps you from finding true happiness elsewhere. You can watch other people you love get hurt because of your mistake.

Mum knows a girl whose mother made this mistake. She’s been hoping her parents split up for like, decades – ever since she was about 14. A broken family was better than the Real World Education she was getting about how two people who once must have loved each other could then demonstrate such a capacity  for cruelty and bitterness – forever and ever, til death do they part.

Having known this girl gave your mother the conviction to do everything she could to  make it work with Daddy. Regardless how many of her Philippe Starck dining chairs your father chucks out during his manic cleaning sprees.

Two Girl Ghost Chairs

2) Your relationships with other people affect and change you, whether you like or notice it, or not. You can marry someone who brings out the worst in you, or be in a relationship that makes you someone you are not proud to be.

(By the same token though, some challenges in your relationships can actually bring out the better in you. Mum likes to think of it as Refiner’s Fire (which refers to the process of purifying metal by applying heat))

That is to say, it works both ways and try not to form expectations about how your life changes or how you change with another person. Expectations also mean disappointments. Disillusionment. Placing an expectation on another person is another way of letting someone let you down. Or forcing someone to meet some need you have. It’s not that different from expecting a job or a home or even a child to fulfill you. Yet the ability to be fulfilled comes from within. (In Mum’s case, her faith has helped so she doesn’t try to live her life through you and your achievements.)

Single Ghost Chair Playing Violin... But Only If It Enjoys It...

The only one who wouldn’t fall short is God, and even then there will be times when you will have no idea what the freak is up with Him. Because we all fall short.

Thing is, if you’re messed up you’re going to hurt other people in your life who love you. Being with the wrong person and having them mess you up I believe falls in this category. You cannot take care of anyone – children, friends, other loved ones, if you cannot take care of yourself. That’s why you’re supposed to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you go trying to help others.

3) Because Daddy was not Christian (and Mum had accepted Jesus just several months prior to when we met, having come from a fairly staunch Buddhist/Taoist background), your mother doesn’t believe Christians should only marry Christians, though she does fervently hope you will one day accept Jesus and yes, maybe even settle down with a Christian girl.

Boy Chair Meet Girl Chair

This is only because having the faith in common should indeed make the relationship stronger, if only insofar as to be able to share faith-related dreams, aspirations, beliefs. Yet the two “packages” which are two people coming together are just that – entire “packages” of many factors good – and bad. Mum doesn’t believe the only “right” packages are the Christian ones – your father was not a Christian when we married, and not for quite a few years after. We rarely (if ever) fought about it. (For one thing, your mother just didn’t want us to fight over faith.)

The reason Mum doesn’t say you should just date a Christian girl is because she believes we can never know all the ways in which God intends to use us. Nor do I believe He uses only Christians, or the “good” things people do. He uses everything for His plan and we were never meant to know or understand all of it. But Mum does often check herself for ways to serve. She doesn’t believe that only happens helping out on Sundays, not taking a cheap, backstabbing shot at work for personal gain can also be a way of serving.

 

Different Colored Chair Going All Different Ways

Mum will however advise you not to attempt “Evangelistic Dating,” ie dating someone with a view to converting them to your faith one day. This is because she doesn’t find it very different from any of the other ways in which you date someone less-than-right for you and then hope to “change” them so they are more right for you. (And well she was once the non-Christian to someone else’s evangelistic dating efforts. She found it a giant turn-off so practically speaking you might not be able to get a non-Christian girl that way anyways.)

If you choose someone who does not share your belief system, certainly hope that one day they will, but be prepared that it may never happen. Because the resulting disillusionment from the disappointment of not having a different, more spiritually fulfilling relationship will affect you.

 

See, Rockstar? You can see the black thru the yellow... Profound. Hmm.

It is for this reason more than any other that Mum says have a good think about who you choose to be with. Each time you have a bad relationship experience, you will be changing, affecting your own personality and what you have to offer someone in a new relationship. We all carry baggage from our past experiences. And we owe it to each new relationship not to enter without a good detox.

Love,

Mum

PS: The above were your mother’s own (very fallible) views… For the sermons we attended, click here and select “Launch Media Player.”

Posted in Dear Rockstar, Rockstar Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Rockstar does Wong Nai Chung Reservoir Park

Posted on June 12, 2011 by admin
Once we caught a fish alive…

We’ve been dropping by for hour-long pedal boat rides at Wong Nai Chung Reservoir Park… Unlike some of the other reservoir parks like in Hong Kong Chye (Little Hong Kong) or Pok Fu Lam, you’re allowed to feed the umpteen fish and a few turtles that reside here… And they always seem to be up for the bread you can buy (HKD8/loaf) when you rent the boats..

Two, actually…

It’s quite easy to catch tiddlers along the banks – we just recycled the bags the bread was in…

Rockstar let them go again…

Why did we let em go? Uh…

1) What else are you going to do with two nondescript baby fish from a reservoir when you have no idea what they could grow up to be? Piranha? Giant catfish that snap at the dog?

2) How are you ever going to justify kidnapping these two from Fish Paradise (giant lake, lotsa  eats, plenty friends) and making them live in whatever little plastic container you can find, from which your rockstar will then go HOW AH YOU FISH? MUM!!! WHY AREN’T THEY MOVINGG?? (At least the dog can still voice disapproval, fish are useless at it, they disapprove by dying for no apparent reason. Only solution is don’t keep them.)

3) Speaking of which, I deemed the death rate for our aquarium fish too high, so Kings is forbidden from venturing into Goldfish Street in Mong Kok and coming back with something, anything live for the Rockstar. Rockstar has a virtual fishtank on my iPhone.

4) All pets require the prior approval of current pet and Mum (see above). Though I wouldn’t mind a Gecko. But Kings hates reptiles.

(Yes we try to include JD in as many family activities as we can… Pics taken on 2 different occasions btw, in case some eagle-eyed reader notices Rockstar is in different clothes)

Anyway current pet took it upon herself to hop off the boat when we got near enough to the far shore… And Kings got really mad…

No points for initiative… She also got into trouble for disappearing onto the docking area to wait for us while we were getting the bread to feed the fish… This is why she doesn’t do well in obedience events (but is quite good on complicated agility courses)- because she does the whole obedience set before you can give her each instruction for each manouver, “I already know what you are going to want me to do”…

(I mean really, JD is so good at hopping on and off boats from when we used to wakeboard, she barely even got the tips of her paws wet – another time, Kings was really upset because she sat on me for most of the ride so when we got off my Vince navy ankle-length casual summer dress was coated in dog hairs down the front.

The Rockstar says things like, “Mum. You need to make sure there are no more crumbs on the sofa before Daddy comes back/ wakes up otherwise Daddy will scream” (metaphorically, he means). And then when I told Kings, he just smiled absentmindedly while on his laptop, patted the Rockstar on the head and said “Well  done Rockstar.” This is my obsessive compulsive husband. )

One unhappy turtle…

At which point napping Kings – he wasn’t home for dinner a single night last workweek – woke up (there was some commotion over the kidnapped turtle scrabbling about in the boat) and asked “Why was that turtle so stupid?” (To get caught, he means)…

The turtle-nabbers are from Hawaii, they struck up a conversation with us to ask if we were Canadian, because they heard Rockstar and I speaking in English… They were surprised to hear some Malaysians (and also Singaporeans) do speak English as a first language… Hearing that they are vacationing here and stopping by Shanghai next, I ask if they’re traveling alone, at which point they indicate an old-ish couple pedaling about much further away. Wow, wouldn’t have thought they even knew each other, their folks were off pedaling on their own and paying no attention to the turtle nabbing furor…(Note to self when Rockstar becomes a teenager if he still willingly goes on trips with us)

Feed fish/ feed dog/ feed parent/ steer boat/ giggle

Rockstar has a proud video of the fish taking bread from his fingers (you have to drop a few other little crusts around and then they get so excited they forget Rockstar’s fingers are attached to one of the pieces)

Back to shore…
Oh, and here rates

Ps: There’s a sign saying you shouldn’t bring a dog, but JD doesn’t mark, bark, or behave in any other way dog-like beyond walking on all fours and every time we’ve gone people are really nice to her, staff and visitors…

Posted in aileensml, Rockstarisms, Traveling With Rockstar | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Rockstarisms #123, 124 & 125

Posted on June 11, 2011 by admin
When he wants to be good… Rockstar practicing feeding himself with chopsticks…

#123

Rockstar: Mum. We can go to the bookstore after my nap.
Me: You mean the bookstore you didn’t want to go to because you were sulking?
Rockstar: Yeah. I cooled down already.
Me: But I haven’t. I’m still angry with your behavior. So how?
Rockstar: Then I’ll wait. After you cool down, call me.

#124

Me: You can pick more books at the bookstore as a treat later
Rockstar: Why, what did I do?
Me: Remember I asked you to let Mum n Daddy have a discussion without you interrupting because Daddy hasn’t been home for dinner all week?
Rockstar: Oh yeah. Also, I turned down the sound on the videos (of himself that he watches) on (my) iPhone when you were talking.

#125

(Looking at picture in book)

Rockstar: This is… A giraffe. 2 zebras. 5 elephants.. And a weird animal I haven’t seen before..

Posted in Rockstarisms | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Just Go With It

Posted on June 10, 2011 by admin

(Sorry Jen and Adam, nuthin’ to do with that great romantic comedy of yours…)

Jekyll and Hyde Rockstar

Ever had one of those days when your child decides anything you want him to do is everything he shall, by wile or strength of will, NOT do?

Hello. So this actually happens fairly often in our household, so often it doesn’t feel blog-worthy… And then friends will go, “He’s so well-behaved!” or “He’s eating all that!” and to be honest I usually pause and wonder if they’re just being kind. Maybe they just wanted to say something encouraging. How nice of them, right?

Except very recently it dawned on me sometimes it isn’t just people being nice. I go around saying things like Be Careful Not To Awaken The Beast and then when I get What Beast? I assumed it was kindness, not realizing they didn’t actually meet Beast.

Beast Rockstar at a very young age (about 2) could develop Pavlovian responses of the Get Me Out Of Here Now – I Refuse To Be A Part Of This And I Don’t Care That Music Time In A Playroom Is Fun sort. As in, hear music on, calmly toddle over to the exit after politely and icily saying his goodbyes above the music and singing. “No. Thank you.“

So this morning – after ingesting maybe half a boiled egg, the Rockstar decides he will not eat breakfast.

Me: We’re going swimming later. You’re going to need breakfast.

Rockstar: Runs round and round living room screaming at the spoon following him, the other end of which is attached to a very exasperated parent. Whose eyes light up hopefully when, rummaging through his toy chest, the Rockstar comes up with an old boggle-esque game. A-ha! The chance to strike up a reading/ spelling conversation!

With a little help, Rockstar proceeds to spell “Cat.” Great, add an S, that makes more than one cat. But then for some reason he wants to do “Goat.” Remembering the school instructions about tying words that rhyme together, I try to move him to “Boat.” That is, if you can possibly attempt a communication with someone who abruptly starts gabbling “No! NooO! Nooo! Nnnno!”

O-kay, how about breakfast?

“No! NooO! Nooo! Nnnno!”

Swallowing frustration, I exit the room and, looking for something to do, start packing our swimming bag. <Thinking> Come on, Aileen.You can’t even remember the last time he went near a spelling game. You gave up too easily. Go back. Try again.

Oh, look! You got “Goat”! Guess what “Boat” looks like!

“No. Don’t want.”

O-kay, let’s try – “No. I don’t want to do it.”

Huffily, I pack the game up and toss it with a clang back into his toy bin. The Rockstar covers his face with his hands and buries himself in the sofa. That is Rockstar-speak for I Know I’ve Been Bad. Unfortunately the next few words after that can be a) Let’s Change The Subject, e.g. Mum. Have You Checked The Weather Channel Today? (yes, seriously) or b) So Sue Me. You’re Supposed To Love Me Even When I’m Naughty.

10 minutes. He’s still not moving. Except when he can hear my flip flops, at the sound of which his little shoulders tense, and then he tries to bury himself deeper in the sofa. Sigh. I don’t suppose breakfast is still an option.

“I’m going swimming. You can follow me or not,” is answered with a sulky, stoney silence, but when I emerge with our swimming bag, the Rockstar is standing by the front door, waiting. He’s also taken his swimming crocs out and put them on. “Don’t be surprised  if you feel tired or hungry quickly and can’t do much today – you didn’t eat breakfast, remember?” is met with a sullen stare.

We make an odd pair, walking along. We don’t look at each other in the mirrored lift, ditto as we walk the short distance to our development pool. As always, we get surprised looks from development staff as we trudge along. “I’d like you to take note of how it feels to be naughty, compared to when you’re being good. Because you sure look like you’re having more fun when you’re being good.” Rockstar blinks in surprise – then quickly falls back into the sulk.

I ignore it and walk on – and hear hurried footsteps behind me. I turn around. Immediately Rockstar stops walking, goes back to sulking n staring at the floor. I start walking again, and hear the hurried little footsteps start up. This time I don’t turn. I watch his reflection in the large mirrors of the various tower lobbies we pass along the way. Rockstar’s expression when he thinks I’m not looking is one of earnestness to get to the pool. I can’t stay too mad at the comic-ness of the whole thing: Oh. Mum’s looking. Sulk on. Ok, she’s turned away. Sulk off. All the way to the lap pool that Rockstar makes a beeline for.

One of the lifeguards chuckles. The pint-sized lapster who squeals in delight the whole time up and down the lap pool is back. His idea of “fun”/ “going swimming” is kicking out laps while holding my hands. Not say, playing about in the kiddie pool – time and place for kiddie pool is after laps, you see. The Rockstar decided. (We’ve graduated from my holding him under the armpits but he still can’t swim the laps unassisted – and he still prefers to hold his head above water to do them, though he will very occasionally fully immerse.)

“I’ll do 23 today.”

“We’ll see. You didn’t eat breakfast remember?”

The last of Rockstar’s sulking dissolves into giggly laps up and down the pool, and then – “How do you spell ‘Goat’ again?”

“G-O-A-T.”

“Doesn’t ‘Boat’ sound the same?”

“Yeah but that’s ‘B-O-T'”

“It’s not, it rhymes with goat, so…” This time he gets it.

The Rockstar stops after 17 laps, a little disappointed (I’m not – I got my goat haha). It’s probably the first time he hasn’t hit his ‘target’ (and btw I don’t set his targets, partly because I don’t want him to form the concept of meeting/ not meeting my target.)

“Can we shoot green men (in the arcade)?”

I promised him earlier, so Sure. But I Bet You’re hungry.

“Yeah I am.”

“Well, then I guess you’re going to be feeling hungry the whole time you’re shooting those green men.” Smug Mum. “You’d probably have enjoyed it more if you’d eaten something.” Silent Rockstar, but he has that Lightbulb-on Look I live for, for when what I say hits home.

And yes, we left the arcade early to go home and eat a huge lunch. The Rockstar fed himself more lunch than I ate.

“Mum. Goat. Boat. Moat – it’s easy.”

Oh, shut up. For you maybe. (No, I didn’t say it. But I was certainly dreaming of saying it.)

HE can smile...

Parents are supposed to be the smarter but honestly I’m struggling – and the Rockstar, not even 3-and-a-half yet. But… I hope somewhere during the story it came across that I probably wouldn’t have gotten a more productive result from Tigermothering him into it…

Posted in Talking To Rockstar | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rockstarisms #121 & #122

Posted on June 9, 2011 by admin

#121

After parking Rockstar in front of CNBC to read the screen while I get his breakfast

Rockstar: Mum. Australia and New Zealand are down. (The currency – it’s just him recognizing the AU in “AUD” and NZ in “NZD” being in the red but I find it hilarious how serious he takes “the market” – his words, not mine… That started after I told him markets being down can be related to bad news, like when Japan suffered the earthquake)

Me: Oh, did you hear why it’s down?

Rockstar: Maybe they were naughty in school?

#122

Me: Tickle, tickle, tickle <Messing with a few sticks Rockstar picked up in a park>

Rockstar: Not funny, Mum. Stoppit.

Sigh.

N-uh-uh

Shhhh!

Posted in Rockstarisms, Talking To Rockstar | 2 Comments

HK Cage Homes and the Bauhinia Heroine

Posted on June 8, 2011 by admin

I’m really late blogging this, picked these up ages ago and then sat on putting it together (sorry)… Because we renewed our rental contract recently (34% increase from where we locked in 2 years ago – ouch!), we were researching rental costs couple months back… Who knew HK Cage Homes cost more to rent per sq ft than the lofty residences on the Peak?

A 15-square-foot cubicle Cage Home costs around HKD1,500 in rental a month (so about HKD100 p.s.f.)… A home on the Peak rents for around HKD30-40 p.s.f per month. 

[youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU4jjdRzy3w&feature=related]

Video uploaded by Journeyman Pictures here. The first thing you feel when you watch the 8 year old girl is helplessness… Maybe that’s why there’s a Bauhinia Heroine, as reported in South China Morning Post and various other news sites few weeks ago… (Not sure about the choice of costume though, but she was apparently handing out cash, that’s still a good thing, right?)

And no, it’s not just men who live here… I asked a local male friend who replied it was probably men-only and I wouldn’t want to venture here because  “especially in summer” “guys are stinky,” but he did also say sometimes single guys might like renting these temporarily just for the convenience (though that’s probably not everyone’s reason for doing so)… And then among the 2009 Artwalk Cage Home Exhibition by Society for Community Organization were the following profiles, women and men:


Liu Dexiang is a 37 year-old woman originally from Sichuan who works over twelve hours every day – and at night, lives in a suffocating top-floor, rat and bedbug infested cubicle. Although living in a space of a mere 15 square feet and sharing bathroom and kitchen facilities with over twenty other residents, Liu remains full of hope. She has aspirations of a reunion with her husband and children and to be relocated in public housing.

Liu, a new immigrant from China, is willing to endure all kinds of pain: “My husband is now unemployed, my children have to go to school; I must continue to weather all this hardship…”

A Cage-homed Hawker


“In the old days, the life of a hawker was easier. I sold all kinds of animals’ entrails and fish balls!” When he reminiscences about the golden years of a hawker’s life, Jiang Shaojiu always becomes excited; however, the entire hawking business began to decline after the Hong Kong government stopped renewing hawker’s licenses in the 1980s.

Due to his lower income, Jiang moved to cage home accommodation and now suffers from the bites of bedbugs. The place in which Jiang lives has no kitchen and all the residents must buy take-away meals. Jiang, himself, only eats twice a day so he can save money – when he feels hungry, he can only imagine the happier days of his hawker’s life.

Living Alone


Chan Hong-shun is 51 years old and suffers from depression and previously worked as a janitor and porter. Unfortunately, because of his illness and the effects of his medication, he is no longer fit to work – he now relies entirely on public assistance. He has spent nights on the bridges of Tung Chau Street and in tiny bed spaces; currently he is living in a cockloft.

Chan has lost contact with his former wife and his family and now spends his days and nights alone, aimlessly strolling the city. Every night at 8pm, he returns to his windowless cockloft and face absolute loneliness.


[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KVrM7EY73U&feature=related]

I got the above off Connectdot Films; I don’t comment on politics because I consider myself generally too clueless and should therefore not be listened to regarding politics. But I had to say something about free speech, I find members of the public in Hong Kong are allowed to be relatively outspoken and critical – in some parts of the world this might be considered quite a luxury.

 

Posted in aileensml | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments