The Day Before Saturday

Posted on February 1, 2013 by admin

1) Warning: If you watch this, you will want to take up surfing over the weekend. And may end up booking a flight to some place that has actual waves so you can do it.

http://youtu.be/cEndimAuu7Q

2) Because really, 33 Textbook Fails. (Or weird things in textbooks).

Like so…
And so…

Oh yeah sure, Unicorn + Dragon = Rhino. Rockstar wants to know what happened to the wings.

WHAT is dis?! (Website simply says it was in a science textbook in China)

*speechless*

And dis?!

Makes this next (from a German dictionary) look tame.

Trouble is…..

Speaking of which…..

–

–

–

3) Lego Star Wars accused of racism.

Dis set is accused of being racist. Claim to fame: I saw this on sale here!

Can I re-tell a funny RM story? I once covered a group of Taiwanese RMs (responsible also for teaching me that the “@” symbol in Chinese is called a “little mouse”) one of whom was a fairly senior guy:

RM: So… What race are you?

Me: Malaysian Chinese.

RM: Is that Chinese?

Me: Malaysian Chinese. I was born in Malaysia.

RM: Which means what?

Me: Uh…. That I’m…. Malaysian Chinese?

(Ordinarily I might also send a link about Straits Born/ Peranakans, but in this case…)

RM: <looking at my face seriously for awhile, then blurting out> I think someone in your family might have messed around because those really aren’t pure Chinese features.

(No, this does not offend me, nor was it meant to offend. So anyway I tell my mum, whose reaction is “Oh yeah. That’s right. <laughs>” My mum btw has also had some curiosity re her own features.)

OK next up:

4) 19 Texting Fails (not to be confused with autocorrects)

Like so...

And so...

But not so. This Fail was saved by her Dad

Things that make you go "Hhhhhmmmmmmmm......." <all warm and snuggly>

 

–

–

–

5) You might like to know there are other things you could do with a good book, besides read it. Sculptures made from books.

Dese are books. And a house of some sort.

You know, just if you happened to have an entire weekend of sitting around with a stack of books and carving tools handy and didn’t plan on sleeping…

And things that make you go "HM?!"

–

–

–

So have a good weekend, people. You Are Awesome:

http://youtu.be/A6XUVjK9W4o

Posted in The TGIF Posts | 2 Comments

Rockstar’s PE with PMP (Perceptual Motor Programme) At Kennedy School

Posted on January 31, 2013 by admin

There was a Perceptual Motor Programme info session for parents at Rockstar’s school recently, and I was pretty happy I could make it, head feeling like it was stuffed ear to ear with cotton balls and all – I’d never heard of PMP before, like so many things with Rockstar’s schooling, and sometimes I feel I’m in skins with another human in front of me demonstrating the many uses of a round object that will eventually be known as <pause of reverence> Wheel. <grunts of approval and awe all around>

Ever felt that way about your kid’s schooling? No? Well excuse me for being all easily impressed, but I am. Never had kids before and I intend to enjoy it. Wow They Have PE. Shutup. I don’t go for various info sessions out of any inherent kiasu-ness, I go because it occurred to me there are people who studied this for years and years, and whose entire careers are based on developing better ways to do this, and I get to go sit down for an hour and be spoon-fed. Sounded like a good deal.

It’s like when a large part of my work day would be about skimming new developments in the markets and product space, looking for opportunity (derivatives can trade very differently from vanilla), cutting down the hype when the investment bank Sales expounds the virtues of their latest product, and then I sit down with a new RM for like, an hour. My attitude to info sessions stems from my own understanding of what went into that one hour. (And if it was an old RM with new product it was “If I can’t make you understand it in 5 mins I need to get you something else to sell” <blissful reminiscence>.) Anyway. Can you imagine how much time and energy is saved by spending that 5 minutes or 1 hour or whatever with a product person before they then go back and read termsheets?

There is always a lot of information out there, too much. School-your-child-attends offers a one hour briefing, I think you should totally go. (Especially if you are like me and have never looked at anything kids-education-related and now find you kinda have to, because you have kids.)

Rockstar’s schooling has been so different from what I remembered in my own time I Can’t Even. This post is an illustration of I Can’t Even. See, my idea of PE was formed from what I remember in Malaysian public schools and later like NAPFA in Singapore public schools. (Btw coming in from Malaysia after 6 months doing nothing but cramming for SPM I “punctured” during my first NAPFA 2.4km run and my then PE teacher was “Malaysian ah? No wonder! The Malaysians always have problems when they first start!”)

SO NOT what Rockstar’s PE is about.

The Perceptual Motors Program (PMP) I understand is originally Australian (though if I google it Kiwi sites will also pop up), Rockstar’s school Head of PE then further tailor-made it for their PE classes and activities when he came in out of England. It is aimed at developing children’s perception and understanding of their surroundings, hand-eye coordination, body control, image and self esteem – ultimately to help them develop skills that will improve their learning in a classroom. Less about fitness or competitions, more fun and sequential activities to increase memory, language and problem solving skills.

Another interesting point during the presentation was the example of babies learning to crawl. I didn’t pay much attention to it before, the Little Miss used to really loathe tummy time. Recently it then looked like she would still end up crawling first, in her determination to get at Rockstar determined to not get pulled about by her, but I wasn’t particularly encouraging it til at the school info session they drew the analogy of how crawling plays an important role because the mechanics of crawling stimulates different parts of the brain, which then affect the child’s ability to learn. Maybe that’s why one of our super-academic neighbors was fretting when their baby crawled late (was wondering what the big deal was at first…)

Standard Rockstar Barricade so he can still fulfill his big-brotherly duties of reading to the baby without having his arm/shirt yanked about or the book eaten

After the presentation, we also got to observe a PE class in session (from afar, so we don’t distract the children in the Y3 class who were split up into smaller groups), where the kids move through different activities that have been planned out for them – there’s a little obstacle course of various-shaped hoops to navigate, ball-attached-to-cone-with-string where they are supposed to catch the ball in the cone, gymnastics mat and shark’s tooth I think it was, where the kids do a forward roll… No wonder we keep getting these emails reminding us to make sure our kids are properly attired for PE… (The indoor gym they were in must be quite warm, like their classroom… I’ve had to remind Rockstar to put his jacket back on after school, in case he blades about in the windy play areas in our development and then returns home a sniffly icicle.)

Rockstar also once described a two-minute timer where they have to get their shoes off and be ready to start… He then admitted to having not made it in time before, after getting caught up with a classmate “discussing our schedule” for playdate purposes (to which I responded, “In other words you were talking in class when you are supposed to be getting your shoes off,” and he gave me a sheepish look :D)

Rockstar dressed for PE and saying goodbye to Little Ms before boarding the bus

Ps: In general I’m wary of writing about actual education programs and stuff for fear I don’t do it justice, I don’t portray it well or accurately enough… (So bear in mind for what I post there may be lots more where it came from and if you are looking for more you should just go to the source…)

But I write despite it being out of my comfort zone because I don’t know how many times I have heard via casual chit chat with other parents that they don’t get why “there is so much play” and “seemingly not much schoolwork” at ESFs (to which the answer is “the play is part of the schoolwork” right…) I think a very general perception from our generation is to worry if it’s “too fun” or “doesn’t look like enough hard work” it’s not “enough learning”… At least if you are like me and went the old route of lots and lots and lots of drilling only… Thing is, while I recognize the need for a bit of drilling (a BIT, I said), I really did not enjoy the majority of my own childhood schooling. And we didn’t even have so many little kiddie school entrance interviews and stuff back then. So if there’s a more effective and at the same time more fun way for the kids nowadays then that’s just freaking awesome. 


Posted in School For Rockstar | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Sleep Wars I – Conspiracy Of The Phantom Plane Movers

Posted on January 29, 2013 by admin

Something’s going on Up There. Ms Rockstar is totally convinced, and very suspicious.

It seems every so often…… Things… keep…….. changing, Up There. 

Someday soon my younger offspring will discover the Mother Of All Conspiracy Theories – that Mummee and Ko Ko have arranged a secret hiding place above her cot, full of mystery and temptation, this forbidden area her elder sibling and her mother refer to in code as the Lego Headquarters.

Ms Rockstar’s View: She’s been obsessing about the movement of the NASA shuttle top right (only black tail is visible in pic), and appearance/ disappearance of the red Fire Rescue plane. After awhile I realized she will do a double take if either plane has been moved. (And btw the McQueen cushion top left NEVER moves…)

So far Rockstar and I have conspired to never let her see him up there (the bunk bed is about my eye level; carried at my chest level she can only really see the top of the cabinets.) Plus, Rockstar is very good at zipping it, immediately he sees me enter the room with baby attached, and moving to the far end of the bed where he can’t be seen, because he doesn’t want his quiet “Me” Space outed – we put that up before the baby came because he has such a reserved and serious personality we wanted him to still be able to play quietly by himself if/when he wanted.

One to make it, one to feed it to her - The Mens on Baby Duty

To date Rockstar still refuses to hug or kiss the baby despite watching the care and feeding of like a hawk when he’s home, and springing into action to distract her when she cries – I’m not sure whether he learnt that from the dog, or the dog learnt it from him, but they both do it. (Rockstar would also prefer if the baby never grabs his arm or pulls his t-shirt, but good luck to him on that one. He ends up getting chased all over the bed with his book.)

Who knew, the clicking as Rockstar fits Lego pieces together can be heard above Met Museum’s Baby Loves Lullabies? It’s not like the room is deathly quiet save for the music cd, either – there is the constant whoosh of an air cleaner on max, because I figured White Noise + Clean Air All In One = Why Not?

There’s the baby, all drowsy and fed and ready to be set down in her cot, and –

<click>

<rapid head-swivelling and frantic eye-roving to search out source of sound>

When it comes to what we’re trying to hide from her suddenly my tiny baby has the ears of a bat. Or hungry wolf.

Bat Baby

What’s moving Things about, Up There? 

27 hours ago, White Thing was 5 inches further to the left. 

Where’s Red Thing? WHAT HAVE THEY DONE WITH RED THING???

How can she know of “them”? She hasn’t even seen that movie where “they” suck the little girl into the tv. That I know of.

Like, there are umpteen interesting bookshelves and toy cabinets, the Lego there and on Rockstar’s piano which she messes with almost every day moves all the time. How come she isn’t suspicious of those, she has to notice there is a loft bed above her cot a.k.a. where I will be banishing all his Lego (choking hazards!) and flying fish roe sushi-eating (seafood allergies!)

The image of toddler bawling at top of her lungs from foot of loft bed ladder, my quiet and serious older child trying his best to ignore it Up There because he wants a break from being clutched at and pulled about or having his books eaten.

<shudder>

No, no, cannot. I’m a-gonna hold out as long as I can, so help me God.

Can’t imagine where the baby gets her Drama Queen from <cough>. Any wagers how long before she catches on (or I cave)?

Posted in Babycare Bootcamp, Talking To Rockstar | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A Pox On The Self-Righteous Pharmacist!

Posted on January 28, 2013 by admin

So over the weekend I’ve been sick. Second time in as many weeks. At first I call my gynea’s clinic, whereupon the nurse says “but you can easily take much stronger meds now, what?” Tell it to the pharmacist (in the tone of Tell It To The Marines. And btw I try not to go to clinics as far as possible because I keep fretting about the possibility of catching something else.)

So this rant dedicated to all you stick-up-the-butt pharmacists out there (because one of you just pissed the hell out of me):

1) I EXPRESS MILK 100%. THIS ALLOWS ME TO PUMP AND DUMP AT WILL. AND I HAVE A FREEZER OVERFLOWING WITH SAVED UP BAGS OF MILK.

2) I PUT EFFORT INTO GETTING MYSELF TO PRODUCE MILK AROUND A MINIMUM 8 HOUR GAP IN BETWEEN PUMPING SESSIONS AT NIGHT SO I CAN TAKE MEDS AT NIGHT IF NEEDED.

3) MY VERY REPUTABLE GYNEA CONFIRMED I CAN EASILY TAKE MEDS AT NIGHT WITHOUT IT AFFECTING MY MILK (but if I want to be kiasu there is still pump and dump – see 1)

Oh, and go cold turkey on alcohol, meds, and smokes (not that I have ever smoked anyway) for the entire duration of the pregnancy, pump a minimum 4 hours every day (or, if working, cut short your morning and evening “me” times by a further 90 minutes each, around your work schedule), THEN come back and let’s see if you still feel like being all pompous. Especially if you might risk developing an infection requiring antibiotics (which of course will guarantee you have to pump and dump).

So, you random Dumb-ass Pharmacist – SELF-RIGHTEOUS LECTURE ABOUT A MUM DOING SOMETHING THAT IS “NOT GOOD FOR BABY” DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A GOOD PERSON. IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOOK SUPER PROFESSIONAL. IT FREAKING MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A DEAF PERSON. (No offense meant to deaf people.)

If someone is telling you points 1-3 above then SHUT UP and do not be that bobble-head in some of those car windows. Uh-huh <bob head>, uh-huh <bob head>, uh-huh <bob head>, Is Not Good For Baby! You Are Doing Something Not Good For Baby! It’s like one of Ms Rockstar’s toys where you say any damn thing and pull a string and the toy bobs its head and repeats Is Not Good For Baby! Except this one has an ego. 

So, what, You Must Suffer Through Your Cough-Fest Because This Is Normal Motherhood Duty? If I were irresponsible enough to nurse when high I wouldn’t disclose I’m nursing. Or for that matter go cold turkey and do the whole crazy pumping regimen come rain or shine or deranged stock market run. I have never even had an experimental puff of a bloody cigarette, dumb-ass. The benefits of a 100% bottle-fed breast milk baby – I CAN PUMP AND DUMP. So waiting to get in whatever the hell you already decided you want to say – NOT COOL.

Just wish I knew how to say all that in Cantonese. Oh, right, dumb-ass might not believe any of these things are true. (And husbands, before you say anything, remember all the other crazy things you’ve seen the Mummy monster do – you just might also remember you maybe can trust her on this one.)

Things that make you go Hhhmmmmmm....

ps: Is Not Good For Baby Soliloquy ended with “we don’t sell that medication.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in aileensml, Babycare Bootcamp | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Rockstarism #245 – Dead Fish Smell

Posted on January 27, 2013 by admin

#245

Rockstar: Mum! My blue (fighting) fish died!

Me: <cautiously, worried he might be upset> Um… Really?

Rockstar: Yeah! Wow it stinks!

Me: Um… Yeah…

Rockstar: Come smell it! Come smell it! It stinks! 

Me: <thinking At Least He’s Not Upset> WHY would I want to smell your dead fish?!

Rockstar: Because it stinks! It really stinks! Come! Smell!

Me: No that’s yucky.

Rockstar: <like it took me so long to “get” it> Yes!! Co-ome!

Me: No!

Rockstar: Daddy!

Kings (without looking up from laptop on desk way across the room from us): EEE! Smelleeee!

Rockstar: See?

Me (to Kings): Why didn’t I think of that?

(Kings gives zero indication he’s heard)

Me (to Rockstar): No eulogy? No last respects for the dead? It was a nice fish?

Rockstar: <pause> <seriously> It really, really stinks.

Random weekend pic of the two "girls" vying for Rockstar's attention (JD's leaving balls for him to kick)

Ps: No, he didn’t abuse it. Fought The Good Fight Fish lived a full life near the tv, sharing a large fish flake with the other two every day… Rockstar thinks it died of old age.

 

Posted in Rockstarisms | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Oops It’s Friday

Posted on January 25, 2013 by admin

Q:

1) There’s pages and pages of this ok, and 132,000 likes… Here’s some of my favorites, from Unintentionally Inappropriate Test Answers From Little Children:

(MAJOR CRINGE)
Somehow I am strangely sure this is a girl

But there were some that I think are just brilliant; can they still get bonus points for creativity?

Quite awesome, right?
I don’t care that this is wrong! Love this! (Unless this is by an 18 year old)
Erm… But come on, you laughed right?
Ditto

–

–

–

Ok more oopses:

2) 30 unintentionally inappropriate domain names.

(And you have to look for it)

(Or, what happens when you mash words together and look for slurs and slangs.)

–

–

3) Terrifying examples of why you should always log out from Facebook.

I can’t read some of it without flinching (which was probably also the point)…

“Dear Melissa???” “Love, Mom”??? And – WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE WHO LIKE THIS?!

Umm… At least they didn’t take the iPhone? 
I would “like” this too! Though I really, really hate the c- word.
He IS awesome! Ok maybe not with the overshare…
Uh…

Gotta remember therapy may cost more than ivy league – and it doesn’t even look good on the cv…

(Oh speaking of which, you guys heard the going rate for a college application resume+ consultations is a minimum HKD 20,000? And urban not-so-legend, HKD 70,000 top price paid for a primary school portfolio for applications. And no, the family does not speak English..)

HAHAHA

But seriously, since going to primary school we marvel at how much Rockstar’s “grown” – the way he speaks, computer literacy, general ability to read etc all kinda abruptly took off and we weren’t very prepared. I mean, we knew he was quite adept going in, but then he also improved by so much in the last few months in Pri school – now we find he’s doing simple searches like the how to stop a baby crying one by himself (makes me remember one of the instructions when volunteering in school: Encourage Independence) I thought he mainly only knew to type “Disney Cars” and search Lego toys when he asked me couple months back “How do you open a new window?” on my iMac. Wow kids grow fast.

So on another level the Facebook bloopers are seriously scary, because we haven’t had any conversations with him about fb, in fact I don’t go on fb that much myself for a similar reason to exercising restraint on Twitter…

Anyway, more fun stuff:

4) Coolest (or well, weirdest) elevators around the world.

Dis is a fish tank.

Dis is a bathroom with a glass floor on top of an empty elevator shaft

Uh, noOOooo I don’t know why.

But here are more elevators.

Dis is an elevator.

And so's dis.

–

–

–

5) Ok, animal time:

Obviously, dis is a rabbit. Obviously.

Unbelievable pics of animals that aren’t photoshopped.

Really meh?

(That is apparently a rare Chinese White Turtle. I thought it was a mouse stuck in a chicken carcass for the purposes of a photo op.)

Really meh?

(Believable when you follow the link and it says this is a tiny organism that eats moss)

No way.

–

–

–

Have a good weekend….

The Rockstars communicating through telepathy (and body lang - they were actually not speaking to each other, in this pic)

ps: can barely type; baby’s feeding and sleeping through the day has been totally unpredictable – I left (and returned and left again) Kosmo’s 3 times this morning/lunch time alone, but at least she’s stopped doing that at night. Just wants lotsa action in the daytime.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in The TGIF Posts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Mens’ Brief Excursion To Goldfish Street, Mong Kok

Posted on January 23, 2013 by admin

Rockstar has a serious travel-and-adventure-bug, and I didn’t want the baby’s keeping us home-bound to grate on his nerves (worse yet, make him equate the lack of new adventure to her arrival), so it’s working out well that The Mens have determined to go off on an excursion every one or two weeks…

Here’s a bunch of hurriedly snapped pictures from The Mens’ recent trip to “Kam Yee Kai” as Kings decides to give his Mini Me a “very local Hong Kong Experience” which includes tram riding and eventually market traversing. (As in, the kind of market where say, they sell snake like they do other meat at the butcher’s, stuff like that… A former beloved boss from Brisbane quite a few years ago was very taken by being able to watch these tai tai with seriously branded bags come and buy snake and stuff the bloodied pieces in their LV shoppers…)

While completely illiterate in Chinese like I am, Kings can swing enough Cantonese to get by like a local, since he speaks well enough to ask directions and chat with them. When we first got here 7+ years ago, he would sit by himself out among the little eateries, soaking up “the local experience,” sometimes coming home with slightly breathless tales of people chasing each other with baseball bats. Back then the locals would tell him the implicit understanding is this is not random and you are not going to get in trouble if you did not “tangle with the wrong people” so just stay out of their way.

(Also, pics not very nice because I reiterated for Kings to watch Rockstar more than take nice pics for me…)

It’s still mostly cold now, which is why they took the opportunity to come here – we would not recommend going into one of HK’s most densely populated areas in summer if you can help it… Even our previous local driver (not the old batu api one, the one before that who only agreed to a temp gig until his internet startup biz was set up) would warn us off coming here unless absolutely necessary in the heat. (As in, crowded = body odor.)

Rockstar posing in random carpark because Dis Is What Mens Do.

And the obligatory Pic Of “Worms” To Frighten Mummy. (Though I looked at another pic and these have legs so they are not worms and in fact I think these are the grubs they put in those lollies and dare you to lick as close as you can…)

These below I think are “good luck frogs”…

(Unless that is, they are fish food… But a former RM used to have two large ones in a fish tank in her office, which she would stroke for good luck and I thought they looked like these…)

Self explanatory, comes with own sign…

Nothing new here, Kings and I bot pet lobsters in a tank while we were in Sing too… They have an annoying habit of escaping no matter how secure we think the tank is…

Creepily, they look exactly like the ones in Rockstar’s lobster bisque at Caffe Habitu…

This awkward pose has to be Kings’ fault…<cringe>

(Rockstar, when you’re old enough think this is uncool, Mummy would like you to know it was Daddy’s fault :D)

Now what’s this?

Oh turtles (above), and what looks like a chameleon lizard (here). Or is it an iguana, since it’s still green? Told em they are allowed salamanders or something simple like fighting fish, nothing salt water and though I like snakes and iguanas they can’t have either because for some reason I am quite worried the baby might be allergic to the pee – we have no place for a tank I consider big enough to not be cruel about it, and so the thing would have to be let out around the apartment quite often. I don’t think they toilet train as easily as border collies.

I know there’s a kind of star tortoise that’s endangered, but offhand I don’t know exactly which – a guy I knew in uni (Singapore) had them, they were very young and tiny and soon went blind from malnutrition because they were too shy to eat enough, instead spending their time hiding in their shells. We took em to the vet for vitamin shots whereupon I think they slowly regained their sight eventually but were so much work to feed. Then the vet asked where my friend had got them from, because she had to report it as they were endangered…

Wandering about, wandering about…

Aha fighting fish!

And then some!

And then Gangnam Style-ing through some alleyway or other….

And home with their loot – 3 fighting fish. The one in the middle is in the middle because it’s real scrappy.

Harry, Larry and Mo (Not their real names)

I don’t allow Rockstar to let them fight super often; Rockstar being Rockstar didn’t take much convincing – after I told him they hurt themselves if they bump into the walls from trying to get at each other all the time, he has imposed stricter “fight times” than I would otherwise have, myself.

Ps: No fighting fish, border collies or babies were harmed in the making of this post.

Pps: Notice something? Not one picture of a goldfish.

Posted in Traveling With Rockstar | 1 Comment

Samoyed Stroller

Posted on January 22, 2013 by admin

As promised, this time I remembered to stop this senior citizen’s stroller for some pics.

He’s 16 years old (looks so nice and clean though, doesn’t he?), and I felt bad asking for confirmation whether he’s the same Samoyed I used to see tottering about wearing a human adult incontinence diaper. His owners ordered this sporty-looking ride from Taiwan, even taking the trouble to explain to me that apparently there are two companies with very similar spellings online (go figure).

And yes I forgot to ask his name – because while we are discussing the inevitable rapid aging of our canine family members, someone recognizes JD:

“She gets walked each morning and night with a slightly chubby, long-haired helper, right?”

“Erm, I guess, but there are at least 3 border collies in this development.”

<takes closer look> “I’m pretty sure this is the one. You may want to come down at night and check on your helper – she’s not walking your dog. She’s sitting on a bench texting away. I’ve been trying to look out for this dog’s owner for ages so I can tell them. Don’t you ever walk your dog yourself?”

Sigh. Way to go guilt trip. When I explain JD’s and my alone time is on the 2.8km Peak trail and occasional errands around the development, the other dog owner immediately relaxes. This person’s concern is genuine. As opposed to the time years ago pre-Little Miss, when Rockstar, Kings and I were walking JD and she got into a natural waterfall (now there is a sign there saying you are “not allowed” to “enter such bodies of water” or something – it’s a literal Chinese translation, like so many notices are here) and this local couple were exclaiming loudly and very concernedly, “Oh dear! Is that dog going to fall??? Whose is it?” amidst a bunch of people enjoying the sight of JD cooling off on a very hot day, whereupon I arrived on the scene and called her out, replying “She’s mine, she’ll be alright” – this couple’s tone totally changed ok, they started going “She is NOT SUPPOSED TO GO IN THERE!!! You have done something wrong!!” (whatever that is in Cantonese – I actually didn’t understand much of it til Kings, livid, explained later that they went on to add “There is a child with you. YOU ARE A PARENT!! YOU ARE TEACHING THE CHILD THE WRONG THINGGGG!!!”)

Kings has a temper, and a much shorter fuse than mine – but he almost never, ever raises his voice. Those guys should get some kind of prize.

I did get the last bit of the Cantonese shouting match, when the couple said “We are going to keep coming back to make sure you don’t do that anymore.”

And so we learned there are dog lovers, and then there are nosey people.

ps: Gave my helper some tennis balls and asked her to play fetch with JD in between her texting. 

Posted in aileensml | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Rockstarism #244 – How To Stop A Baby Crying (And Something About Soup)

Posted on January 20, 2013 by admin

#244

Earlier…

Me: Hurry up and finish your Lego while I go get you some soup.

Rockstar: Yay! Soup! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY! Wait. What kind of soup?

————————————————————————————-

So we were at Cafe Habitu in Elements Mall, Kowloon tonight, it was surprisingly easy to get a choice seat overlooking the rink and the first time we saw what looks like a succession of primary school-aged kids’ ice hockey matches.

The circus leaving Cafe Habitu in Elements, Kowloon earlier tonight

Cold weather sport. Big stick. Rockstar was just totally taken in for a bit.

Dis is Rockstar pretending to inhale hockey players

The cheering and applause was thunderous for goals scored even though there weren’t THAT many people watching… but what I really wanna know is why no one was shrieking KILL! KIIIIIILLLLLLLLL!! 😀

And the other two –

  

For some reason Ms Rockstar has attracted some attention from passersby each time we’ve crossed the tunnel to this mall. Seeing the pretty pink CNY decorations I insist on turning the iPhone on us and taking this pic:

Suddenly because I have a baby girl, I am all about the pink. Even Rockstar has noticed.

And another mum who’s there with hub and girl toddler in stroller approach us and offer to take a pic for us instead of me contorting about with the iPhone, “because I’ve got one too, I know…”

I do know!

And then of course Ms Rockstar does what she always does when she’s in a car, and I’m cursing and swearing at the annoying webus wifi window that pops up every time we’re near one of the large public buses, when I’m frantically trying to open up Papa Pinguin on Youtube “#%$%#$&#&^ I don’t want webus!!!!” “NGGGGGEEEEAAHHHHHHHH” – and suddenly Rockstar throws his head back and laughs.

This makes Kings and I laugh too, which makes Ms Rockstar double her efforts at blistering our ears because – and I’m almost sure of this – she thinks we are mocking her.

And then at some point –

Rockstar: Mum. I just remembered how to stop a baby crying. I googled it one night.

Me: You googled it.

Rockstar: Well, I searched Youtube. I typed “How to stop a baby crying.”

Me: <dubiously, over the fire and brimstone that is going on right next to me> Ok, how?

Rockstar: <like he’s announcing something really important – well, it is> You get a dog. The kind that goes “AwoooOOOoo…” And then you put this dog next to the baby. When the baby cries, the dog goes “AwoooOOOoo…” and it works. 

We arrive home shortly after, and are caught up with making nice to the four-legged family member who was left at home and has hidden herself behind the sofa because we gave her a large salmon-skin chew and she loved it so much she dug our onions and potatoes out from the bottom shelves in our kitchen trying to find more, and then settling the two kids to bed. After that I’m curious, and so I search Youtube and find what must have been the video Rockstar found:

This gotta be the video Rockstar was talking about. I need to ask him what he thinks we should then do about the dog we’ve got right now. JD would be livid – it was bad enough we brought home another Little Human That Makes That Noise…

ps: No, JD didn’t hurt any onions or potatoes

ps: Probably time to think about a child-safety lock on our internet… Though to be fair Mr Super-serious has a fairly healthy (ok, anal) attitude to inappropriate shows – he can sit next to Kings watching some violent thing on tv and contentedly play with his own toys or watch Youtubes because he “doesn’t want to see anything that might give me nightmares.”  

However obviously you have to tell him something bad is coming up and obviously Kings is going to not always be able to do that so I don’t let him sit there for too long…

Posted in Rockstarisms | 3 Comments

Freaky Friday

Posted on January 18, 2013 by admin

1) Apparently, this is fashion. The exciting and vaguely scary art of eyelash jewelry. Clicker beware. It does not really tell you why it is exciting, or art. But as someone who never got past Hello with standard mascara on Watsons shelf, I’m pretty terrified. Did you notice the one with the googly eyes? Because what the world needs right now is eyelashes with googly eyes on them. Beauty queens take note. “World Peace” is so last-pageant.

You can tell by my extra snarkiness that That Which Has Been Dreaded has happened. Her Highness has decided to try her luck at not sleeping at night too. The whole time I’m thinking Here We Go Dragon Fight I’m also thinking Water Quenches Fire I Am So Screwed.

Because dey tell you dis is fashion

–

–

–

pic from wired.com

2) “The Administration does not support blowing up planets.”  Obama Administration responding to a 35,000-signature petition to build a Death Star, thereby creating jobs. I liked, “Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?” Proof there are smart people in The White House. Also proof Good Jedi there is in the Oval (someone pointed out the president is wielding a blue light saber).

What? That information was very important to Rockstar.

It was also nice to know they offered certain Death Star petitioners job interviews. This is like that urban not-so-legend of a guy I once knew who’d apparently been recruited at a Goldman office after choosing as his 3 hour entrance-interview essay topic, Buddhism. (He is btw a helluva super-quant.) Also urban not-so-legend that Kings once worked with a structurer who had 2 Phds – in Math and English Literature and wow freaks and fruitcakes both start with “fr”. (But seriously the guy was really brilliant)

3) Ok, not so good (skip, for happier stuff below).

THAT interview - pic from Thedailybeast.com

Lance Armstrong credits doping for Tour De France wins. I felt obliged because I mentioned Buzz Bissinger’s I still believe in Armstrong initially. (He then totally flipped his position.) What do I say? (Rockstar, this for you)

Cheating was always wrong. And it’s a waste of effort because the energy spent dreaming it up and covering it up could be spent on getting better legitimately. There might be some defense in “what IS cheating” but that is for regulators on the ground to decide. I just think the way the world works is, black and white make grey. The shade of grey arrived at is based on how much black or white is in the mixture. How much black or white goes in depends on what else is going on in the world today. Medical and technological advances, what society deems the best wisdom of our time….. I formed the view partly from reading an opinion about why Justices in the States should not have lifelong appointments – because of the risk of someone whose formative years were back when more than 90% of the population believed mixed marriages were wrong, stuff like that.

And the rest of the time I’m engaged in a battle of wills with She Who Shall Not Nap, not following where the world is now on which-drugs-count-as-doping/cheating today. I’m not about to try and be all self-righteous stick-up-my-butt I CAN’T BELIEVE THESE TERRIBLE PEOPLE.

So Mr Armstrong “officially” cheats (ie is officially considered to have cheated) and is officially stripped of his titles. That’s how the world should work, isn’t it? Except for the bit where he won 7 times to begin with, because for the non-cheaters who came in second all those times it sucks.

Then there is Buzz. Bissinger, the metaphor for a gadzillion people who were inspired by Mr Armstrong. The sweeter the idealist, the more bitter the cynic upon disillusionment. Now what?

Find another hero. Until and if that one comes up a cheater, then find another. And another. There are always cheaters, there are always heroes. But you owe it to yourself not to allow someone who has proven unworthy to make you into a lesser version of yourself. (That includes being bitter. You don’t really get to be bitter, but you do get to not waste any more time on the person.)

Oh, and they should pay the regulators more. Otherwise as long as it pays more to be a crook than a regulator, you will get first rate crooks and second rate regulators. I didn’t know a single name of any of the people in the regulatory body who initially dared to go after Mr Armstrong, when he was all puffed-up I’ve Been Terribly Wronged! I still don’t. Do you? And if it’s just fantasy to ever pay regulators, then the other thing you can do is to make it really hurt for the crook. Hurt so they don’t even dare to try.

One reader comment that stuck with me was how, recovering from cancer, last thing he would have wanted to do is inject himself with more chemicals like performance drugs. Mr Armstrong wanted it bad. Really, really bad. The kind of bad that helps you fight a terrible disease. One of my most brilliant friends and mentors discovered he had the disease when he was 32. After years of on and off battles I last spoke to him via a cellphone Kings held up to his ear in a hospital room at Mount Elizabeth cos I was in my final stages of pregnancy with Rockstar and couldn’t fly over a final time.

Mr Armstrong still overcame the odds as a cancer survivor. It is no less remarkable for all the rest, it is an achievement that deserves no less praise and respect. The same as do all cancer survivors.

For the rest, Mr Armstrong will have to burn. If he doesn’t, more people are gonna think it’s ok to do that. It has to hurt more than any benefit from winning those 7 titles, plus interest.

So, Rockstars: You don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. Do wrong, don’t treat people right, expect people to hate you. (Well d-uh.) You need friends in this world. It’s hard enough making good friends without letting them know you are capable of doping. There are other people they can be friends with.

–

–

4) This from Mr Brown (I assume it’s from a Pri school in Singapore):

I don’t really know the answer to question (1). Rockstar and I think it’s S because that one sounds a bit different from the others. (Anyone know what it should be?) This is like when I posted Could you get into this primary school in Shanghai? when those questions were making rounds because some banking ex colleagues were all “We should screen our interns with this!” (But for real, it’s almost every day I find an OMG Kids These Days Have To Do These Things At Their Age? exclamation – kids’ education appears to us to move and change so quickly that it’s just mind boggling)

Rockstar wanted me to take this pic. It is titled “I Can’t See.”

Well, d-uh.

–

–

5) Saved the best for last, awesome life hacks.

Like so..
And so…
And I really want to try this one with Rockstar’s piano book because he wants to keep all his McQueen cars on the piano where the book should be

(Rockstar then said he shall try to memorize ASAP what he’s supposed to play so we don’t need to put the book there. Freak. He gets it from you, Kings. I’d rather he actually learn to read notes eventually. Honestly we put him in that music class because it’s fun and a very “local” experience, conducted in Cantonese (rather than say any dreams of nurturing budding talent haha) – I attend with him, and once got so lost I bought the wrong books for class…)

Here however is someone who is truly musical. (Or, The Only Proper Response To Mr Armstrong.)

http://youtu.be/-grZDvXBm78

(He’s actually playing music that way ok, hitting proper notes, took me awhile to realize how much method there is in the madness… Heck, visit the Youtube here. The comments are pretty awesome too)

Have a good weekend. Learn to play the xylophone. For real.

Random pic of The Rockstars Not Playing The Xylophone

Posted in The TGIF Posts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments